XH, that won't be possible as it goes against the court order, and I am not comfortable breaking the law.

Now he is telling me that he will just get two units so there won't be any controversy. I am not sure I am going to live through this. I am so upset I don't know what to do.

Tell him he can take DS on vacation with OW when OW becomes just DW (dear wife). Until then, one room, two rooms, four rooms, six rooms; it doesn't matter because the way YOU interpret the agreement that the judge signed is that son is not going. If he wants to contest the thing in court, let him hire a lawyer.

He gets him for 3 weeks of vacation per year...one week at a time....I doubt I can keep him from taking him on vacation if he has two units.

I am sick.

SW:

I am going to go a different tack. And I am going to recommend that you DO get the lawyers input on this.

Because when you talk to the lawyer, maybe the lawyer will help you to understand how untenable your position REALLY is.

Yes, your agreement states specifically that "No overnights" allowed. So, your going to WIN.

But at what cost?

Your husband has three weeks of vacation with him a year. So, for the six-eight weeks before the vacation, your going to have to fight this battle, to prevent him from taking your son on vacation with the OW and her DS6.

If you ask me, your going to be battling this ALL THE TIME. And you will always be sick because of it.

You can hate the OW. Your allowed too. You have the agreement on your side. But your the one who is going to suffer from all this.

Your XH will go to court to modify it, and the judge will grant it. Because all he will say is that SW is preventing him from taking his DS to Disney World, and DS really likes OW and DS6, and I have been dating her for X years...

And all SW has is the agreement....

Talk to the lawyer.

Fight your battles. HE will take your son anyway. You may one day win and they will revoke his custody. Maybe, but not on this issue.... And DS9 will only ever see that your preventing HIM from going to Disney World....

There are hills to die on. This may not be the one.

Talk to your lawyer. Get thier take. Be willing to listen.

Your Ex is a slime. But do you want 8 more years of this?

Talk to your lawyer....

LG

First for SW, 'No. That will not be possible due to the terms you agreed to in our divorce.' Don't point out that he agreed to it, just that it's there.

Second to Lousygolfer, I agree that someday, provided WXH and OW stay together long enough, SW could be dealing with a trip to Disney or something equally wonderful that her DS will be utterly disappointed in if he can't go and ultimately blame her for it, regardless of how she presents the information to her.

This is not that trip.

This could be WXH's test run for a trip like that in the future. There's no point in paving the way for him. When he doesn't get his way this time, he may in fact go back to the judge and get the agreement modified but at least he'll be doing the hard work for it. And meanwhile, time will tick away on his and OW's relationship. No one can say if they'll still be together long enough to go to Disney, but given the track record of affairages, it's worth the chance.

First it is the beach, not WDW...but I guess that isn't your point.

Second I have an email in to my attorney asking him if I can stop my x from doing this. If I can stop it I will. If he wants to be a happy little blended family with OW let him marry her.

And what do you mean he will take ds away from me?

Yes, this is my point. I a not going to roll oever and act like this is all fine. It isn't. I am not going to present all this junk to ds10...and I hope xh doesn't either....but I am going to do what I can to stop it for now.

SW:

About this:

He would take DS to the beach/WDW/etc., despite your wishes.

Paper be darned.

Enforce your rights under the agreement. Make sure you note that he is not in compliance. You have to do this or you will lose the right to protest later, or when his actions on vacation become even more egregious.

But its a tough place for you to be. I'm trying to point out the opposite POV, somewhat. And why getting support from your lawyer for this makes sense.

LG

The point of no overnights with people of the opposite sex is so that the child is not exposed to a sexual relationship between unmarried people...such as his father and the OW, while he is with his father.

Just because his father is going to get a separate room does not mean that his father is NOT going to have SF with the OW on this trip. So, what does he plan to do when he and the OW have sex? Lock the kids in one room while they go have sex in the other room? You can bet your sweet bippy that the OW's child knows what's going on and will likely tell SW's son.

SW, stick to your guns on this!

Just giving a different POV here for you to consider.

DS has already been exposed to OW, that was a mistake in itself, but it has already happened.

DS knows daddy's girlfriend, likes daddy's girlfriend, and likes the child of daddy's girlfriend. DS will be sleeping with daddy in a separate room, possibly a separate place altogether.

So from DS's point of view why is he not allowed to go on vacation?

I begged XH to not introudce ds to the OW. I couldn't stop it.

From ds's POV...IF he is told about it at all..I will just tell him I do not think it is in his best interest to be in a family like situation with OW. That it isn't right. And then I will take him on vacation myself.

DITTO

We had several emails back and forth night before last. My last email to him was yesterday morning, early--I said in part, 'I am only asking you to please consider my feelings and not take my son on vacation with her. Please. Is that really so much to do for me?'

No response since then. Also, I think my attorney must be on spring break because he hasn't responded to my email to him asking him if I could stop this vacation with the OW.

I am going to do what I can, but if Wxh won't cooperate, I doubt I can stop it.

I don't think I would have ended the exchange on asking him to consider your feelings. He can say the same thing back to you. If the order says no overnights then stick with the legal stuff. If you have not already brought it up, I would tell him that you are speaking to your attorney since he is trying to split hairs. Let him know that any overnighters with OW or other females are not acceptable period and he if wants to dance the dance, so be it.

It does say no overnights. But he is saying they will be under different roofs, so the OW won't be present.

There was more to the exchange about him considering my feelings. I also pointed out to him that this OW is one party to the affair that broke up our family. At the very least he won't have me 'blessing' it.

The fact that the OW is going on the vacation is the same thing as having overnights with a person of the opposite sex. Different rooms...makes no difference, because we can assume that there are different rooms in his house, can't we?

Good point.....Gonna do my best to stop it. Thank you.

SW,

I have not posted to you before but wanted to share my experience with you.

While I had no legal standing for no overnights with the opposite sex, I did have this same 'vacation' situation arise prior to my D being final. After similar disagreements with my then WS, he told me he agreed & she would not be going with them.

OW did not go with them. She MET them while they were there & still spent the night in the same room with my husband and my children were in the same cabin. This WILL happen here if you don't use everything in your power to stop it.

You have the LEGAL standing to keep this from happening. Don't waste your time talking to him about it, and don't bother mentioning your feelings about it. Your feelings are the LEAST of his worries & may only serve to fuel his 'need' to have his way.

Have your attorney send the letter.

Just my 2 cents.