When people get trapped into the cycle of jealousy, despair and confusion, going round and round like okg has... they end up focusing all their energy on the "Drama" and none of it on growing, restoring, or nurturing a healthy relationship. The fact is, we become our worst selves, with the worst sides of our nature on full display. When we're like that, we're "Ugly" not "Attractive"...
It's almost as if one simply "ceases to be" the man that attracted the lady to begin with. So if the relationship is suffering, or is up in the air, instead of getting all heavy and constantly dramatic (and a raging ball of insecurity), you need to pull the plug on that heavy crap and revisit the "you" that first put a smile on her face, made her consider you "for life", and all that...
It's a simple fact. Women are not generally attracted to that kind of insecurity, uncertainty, and drama... and especially not in a relationship! e.g. if you're that insecure about HER you are not confident enough to protect your mutual "nest"...
If they're already beginning to pull away, the constant drumbeat of drama will only drive them further.
Start behaving in ways that make you sexy in her eyes.... find out what turns her on, and encourage those feelings to return.. if she's being made to laugh often, and feels adored it'll almost always rekindle those feelings. You don't waste any effort on rehashing the drama... you behave confidently. Unconcerned with that, because you know you're "her man"... I promise that attitude will give her pause!
Reinforce her decision to be with you without ever talking about it. Certainty sometimes needs occasional reinforcement. If we just blow out and get ugly, it's exactly the opposite of what's needed. You probably never once have to address the "issues". Just change her mind......... she won't even know what hit her.
If you're steady on, they'll feel good and stick by you. If you go off in a panic, do a total meltdown, they're left asking "who's going to take care of me??" They'll eventually start looking for "someone"... that's for sure...
I think an excellent place to start is by following closely the EN article on conversation:
>>>>"Conversation fails to meet this need when (1) demands are made, (2) disrespect is shown, (3) one or both become angry, or (4) when it is used to dwell on mistakes of the past or present. Unless conversation is mutually enjoyable, a couple is better off not talking to each other at all. An unpleasant conversation not only fails to meet the emotional need, but it also makes it less likely that there will be an opportunity to meet the need in the future. That's because we tend to prevent our spouse from meeting our needs if earlier attempts were painful to us."<<<<
I have found with every woman I have known "Unless the conversation is mutually enjoyable" she will not lesson to a single word that is said.
Run every word you are about to say through that conversation filter and you will be surprised at the result.
It surprised me that's for sure. The change was dramatic.
