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One thing about exposing when you wife is out of town.
I made a mistake in timing when I exposed. My wife was at a business meeting 3 hours drive away when I did it. Unfortunately, the stuff hit the fan while she was driving back on I-10. Her driving late at night, by herself, with all of this emotional upheaval going on and a barrage of cell phone calls, scared the daylights out of me.
Make sure she is in one place or the other when the blowout comes.
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Good point schtoop...may have to wait until she gets back because of the reasons you stated. Granted, I'm not chickening out or anything but I want to have the maximum nuclear effect.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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as part of the carrot, do I still use terms of endearment(honey, dear, etc)...I have stopped saying I Love You.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 163
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and is texting her during the day considered smothering?
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Good point schtoop...may have to wait until she gets back because of the reasons you stated. Granted, I'm not chickening out or anything but I want to have the maximum nuclear effect. jlowes, that is not a good reason to delay exposure. I would get this done today. The fact that she is out of town with relatives gives you an advantage you wouldn't otherwise have. It does not in any way minimize the effect. This way you can notify the relatives while she is there and they can use this opportunity to speak to her. I get the sense that you are trying to delay this.. You might as well jump in and get this done.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 12,357
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Good point schtoop...may have to wait until she gets back because of the reasons you stated. Granted, I'm not chickening out or anything but I want to have the maximum nuclear effect. jlowes, that is not a good reason to delay exposure. I would get this done today. The fact that she is out of town with relatives gives you an advantage you wouldn't otherwise have. It does not in any way minimize the effect. This way you can notify the relatives while she is there and they can use this opportunity to speak to her. I get the sense that you are trying to delay this.. You might as well jump in and get this done. ITA. Do not concern yourself with timing this at her convenience. Do it NOW.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Good point schtoop...may have to wait until she gets back because of the reasons you stated. Granted, I'm not chickening out or anything but I want to have the maximum nuclear effect. I said: Expose now so family can join in roasting her if that is what they choose to do. Add: don't underestimate the opinions of family on a wayward. MelodyLane is our resident expert on exposure. Follow her lead, please. Larry
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JUST DO IT, JLOWES!
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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There was a death in the family and that is why she is out of town. I will expose but not to the relative that she is staying with.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 163
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This is the order:
OMW
Close family friend that is a second mother to WW
OM friends and family via email (that's all I've got)
Other close family friends
WW best friend
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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This is the order:
OMW
Close family friend that is a second mother to WW
OM friends and family via email (that's all I've got)
Other close family friends
WW best friend What about your parents, her parents, the OM's parents and your children? What does the OM do for a living?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 2,965
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WW's family?
Your family?
Do you guys have kids? If so you should tell them too.
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Almost forgot OM via email to end all contact with my wife
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 163
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WW's mom died
I've told my mom
we have kids.
Don't know what the OM does for a living.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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This is the order:
OMW
Close family friend that is a second mother to WW
OM friends and family via email (that's all I've got)
Other close family friends
WW best friend You forgot the huge facebook exposure.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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was your WW close to her mother?
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I don't have a Facebook account
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 163
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Posts: 163 |
WW was very close to her mother
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Almost forgot OM via email to end all contact with my wife I would go SEE him after you expose the affair. He will laugh at an email. Does he know you are married? And about facebook, you need to GET a facebook account. NOW. I feel like WE are more interested in helping you than you are, lowe. Usually folks are a little more pro-active about saving their marriages. Is there a reason why you are so complacent about this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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