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No...I'm not complacent at all.
I read elsewhere that it is best to not engage in physical confrontation(restraining orders and such) and that an email has no legal ramifications. What I read also stated that OM and WW will probably get a good a laugh from the email but it diverts attention from the "good times" e.g. rather have them talking about the email than talking about escaping for a weekend somewhere.
Yes, he knows full well that we are married. She's told me bits and pieces about their conversations but I've now come to realize that they are all probably 99.9% lies.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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I don't have a Facebook account You don't have to. I assume your WW is friends with OM on facebook. Log onto her account (I'm sure you probably know the password, and if not, you probably know the "forgot password" information) and send a message to all of OM's friends the same note you come up with about wanting support to keep two marriages together (and tell them this is WW's H, not WW). Then defriend OM. Exposure complete. Trust me, he'll go running for the hills if you go this far.
Last edited by jmwc95; 04/08/10 10:14 AM.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Joined: Oct 2009
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I don't have a Facebook account Set one up. Takes 5 minutes. It's free.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Apr 2010
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OK...thanks...don't know the password but hey...If I'm already going nuclear what have I got to lose by doing a password reset!
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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I keep getting OMW voice mail...do I go to the next person on my list?
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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I keep getting OMW voice mail...do I go to the next person on my list? Are you doing *67 when you call her? Lots of people won't pick up restricted calls. You may have to leave a voice mail: Hello, POSH's BW, my name is jlowesd. please call me at 555-555-5555 as soon as possible. This regards your POSH and your M. Thank you. Keep going.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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OK...just got off the phone with OMW...very nice...we exchanged phone information.
Said she was suspicious of the "friendship" as well. OM is currently unemployed.
Also talked to very close family friend who is a second mother to both of us. And of course she agreed to help...
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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All of the sudden my appetite is back
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 2,965
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Wow, OMW couldn't possibly have responded better. Go get 'em tiger. Then wait for all hell to break loose 
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can't do the email blast as my company restricts and personal email accounts (gmail, hotmail, ...) but will do it this afternoon.
WW returns tomorrow while I'm at work...I imagine that she will move my clothes back into our youngest daughters room which I will promptly move them back into our closet.
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Man...exposure is wonderful
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 163
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I feel a great sense of relief that the affair is out in the open.
no more living like a doormat...
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 163
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WW told me that OMW neglects him which I now know is a complete lie!
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 163
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did Plan A earlier this AM...had a nice text exchange with WW
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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can't do the email blast as my company restricts and personal email accounts (gmail, hotmail, ...) but will do it this afternoon.
WW returns tomorrow while I'm at work...I imagine that she will move my clothes back into our youngest daughters room which I will promptly move them back into our closet. Give her a nice smile and tell her it's easier for you to dress in your OWN bedroom, where you sleep. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Anxious or something?
Maybe a little adrenaline in the ol' system?
You're doing great. Just be sure and complete the exposure after work when you can email those gmail/hotmail type addresses.
Also I agree with the others that you need to create a FB account and print off OM's friends list. Then start mailing them (you can mail them from right there in FB).
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I feel a great sense of relief that the affair is out in the open.
no more living like a doormat... Okay, homework assignment time: read up on the part of exposure where your WW's head will spin like Regan's did in the Exorcist. Because she more than likely is going to blow a gasket when she finds out that you've exposed the A. Expect it and don't be alarmed by it. Maintain your composure and let her know that you are going to do whatever it takes to save your M. Wouldn't hurt to let her know what a nice lady OMW is. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Keep up the good work, jlowes! Just stay focused and get it all done today in one fell swoop. That way the affairees get hit with a tsunami.
What was the OMW's reaction? What was she going to do? Hopefully she will confront her H right away.
And I concur with the others about being prepared for your wife to explode. Just expect all manner of threats. Just ignore them. If she tries to kick you out of the house, tell her no thank you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks!
OMW was very nice on the phone. I called her at work and she said that she's in an open area so she couldn't really talk in depth. She was the one who asked for my cell phone number. She thanked me for calling and said that she wants to save her marriage as well. The call lasted about about 9 minutes. Said she wasn't mad and wanted to help.
Can't remember what she said she was going to do but she told me she was very suspicious of the "friendship".
M-43
WW-42
T 20
M 16
DD10
DD8
EA: 1/10
Informal separation: 6/11/2010
Headed for D: 7/6/2010
In Recovery: 9/10/10
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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So she does understand this is an AFFAIR, right?
Secondly, how old are your children? Are they home with you? And do you plan on telling them?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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