I would like to throw up a BIG red flag when posters say that California is a cut and dry state. Theoretically it is... but only if you have no property or almost no assets. If you do, and most peolple do, your attorney's preparation is of utmost importance.

I agree with you, Cymanca. And I don't think it's a good idea to send any $$ info to the OW or her family. This would just piss my WH off and it's the job of my lawyer.

Right now I am just plan A'ing my butt off. I will not "help" him with anything about moving forward with a D. I will not agree to anything in the meet and greet with the mediator. I am trying to stay out of his way right now so that I don't remind him "Oh, yeah. I am supposed to be working on getting a D." I have posted on an online calendar all of the commitments of the kids that he is free to access at any time. I will not remind him to keep in touch with his kids. I don't want him to have one instance that feels like I am telling him what to do. He is a big boy and can take care of whatever he feels he needs to on his own. I imagine his need for housing 40 days from now will take up a huge chunk of his free time. That's fine.

It sounds to me like he is still in contact in a romantic way with OW. Maybe just out of sight of her dad.

Plan A him when he acts like your H. Plan B him when he acts like a WH.

Stash money like mad.

And I'm with you - don't lift a finger to help anything in the way of divorce, housing for him, or anything in the direction of separation or divorce. He's on his own. Just protect yourself. Whenever he brings that subject up with you, say very lovingly, "I don't talk divorce, I talk marriage building. I talk about ways we can find to love each other again, and make our children safe and happy in a family together, with a mommy and a daddy who love each other. Let's talk about that."

Anything else, he's on his own.


He's not willing to try because MB is WORK, and he has to OWN what he did wrong. He's not ready to admit his part yet. That's okay. Tell him what YOUR part was. Open that door.

SB

Okay, the attorney in me, thinks of this as a good legal maneuver because it will let OW and her family know how the legal cards are stacked and they, in turn, will make sure you WH "gets it." (I seriously doubt your WH has consulted an attorney because, unless you are loaded, he would be defecating in his proverbial pants.

The BS/MB-er in me says this is a GREAT idea because it puts added pressure on the A - exposure in a new and unique light....exposure in a way that says, "Hey lady (and protective Dad), your life is NOT going to be a bed of roses with WH. He is going to be so in debt to me that he isn't going to be able to support you (your daughter) in a financially stable manner. This will cause all sorts of LB's with the love birds (and, yes, I do agree they are very much in contact - after the gazillion false recoveries my XH and I went through, my gut recognizes when contact is happening).

Will it make your WH furious - darn right it will because its forcing reality into his little fogged out fantasy world.

If your not comfortable sending it to OW and her Dad directly, sent it to your WH and copy OW and her Dad.

Regards,

BB

Surprisingly enough, my WH makes a good deal of $$. He did consult with an attorney and I don't know why he isn't freaking out. I can only imagine that he didn't have his facts about our expenses correct.

At this time I have no reason to think that the affair is ongoing. Although I am fairly certain that they are still in contact. After all, they still work together.

Still in contact = ongoing affair
Still working together = ongoing affair

You can take that to the bank.

That they are still in contact and work together gives you every reason to think that the affair is still ongoing.

LG

Thanks Pep.

I thought you knew OP.

That producer is still a dirtbag.

LG

I take it that you think that OrangePearl was the woman reported murdered in Cancun, lg?

What makes you think that the TV producer suspect was her H?

The picture on the video stopped me for a second though.

I had to go back and look at the MF's Big Bob pictures to be sure.

Nope. It's not her.

I was glad she came to the party at Bobs. Poor girl showed up in tears fresh from her D-Day.

Then she just disappeared from the forum like so many others.

Wonder how she fared.