ENOUGH!!

Either offer suggestions, advice or support or DON'T POST!!!

PERSONAL attacks will not be tolerated!!!!

Pep


Guilty.

With only one caveat. Can you think of what that might be?

There is nothing in your post that has not made an impact on me.

Thank you.

Larry

Thank you Justuss. I will follow forum rules.

Larry

Larry,


Although my post indicates a reply TO you, the request & reminder was meant for EVERYONE!!

NO PERSONAL attacks!!!

MrW


Absolutely. See reply to PSU. And custodial obligations were altered after that to include that the kids were to be shipped to KY during spring break, the summer, Christmas, etc. Not once did their father ever meet us at the specified location. We were forced to take them as much as we could all the way and turn them over to X's dad who then supervised a visit with their dad.

Addressing another subject, in my current situation, I have maintained as cordial a relationship as possible in part as an effort to get the kids to see it doesn't have to be WWIII like it was when X decided to get divorced from their dad.

I continue to hold my life up for inspection.

Larry

Yes ma'am. Thanks for the clarification.

Larry

Watch this space Pep. I have kid duty. It will be a while.

larry

From you Pep, I can take it.

And as for NRS, it was not personal. Don't take it that way. I was told of such by a Nurse Supervisor, a Doctor and a shrink, plus my own observations. Yes, and a couple of nurses, including one who was involved in a difficult marriage.

I will not mention it again.

Larry

WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ?

****************edit*****************

I SAID --------ENOUGH!!!!!!

That means-------NO MORE!!

Ok Pep, here goes.

I suspect you are angry with me because you no longer see me as the person you thought I was. Sorry, I am who I am. We all get impressions of people through their posts. Mostly they are accurate. We don't really know the path they took to become the person they present through their posts or who they are in real life.

We can only guess.

And sometimes (often?) along that path of life, they have done something that does not pass the right/wrong test. This especially when we have strong beliefs in what is right and what is wrong in the arena of marriage and divorce, which is the purpose of this forum. And the reality that vets live in, which is why they are called vets, doesn't include the path the vet took to get where they are. Or the path the newbie took until they tell. And often, it is what they don't say that counts, but how do you know what they don't say until you ask?

Just for the record, I married for the first time to someone who was diagnosable. Her own father warned me. I blew it off and I shouldn't have. Dumb me. I married a second time in a "Friendship" marriage that lasted well over a decade. We started having problems. In counseling, the counselor said she believed she needed to counsel with wife then and she saw no reason for me to continue counseling; that it appeared I had a realistic expectation and a realistic approach to marriage.

My then wife eventually filed for divorce after many counseling sessions, the content of which was not revealed to me. Not being privy to MB concepts at the time (not published yet), I agreed. Following that less than satisfactory marriage, I traveled the world in business. Yet something was missing in my life and I knew it. It took me a long time to find it.

I floundered around and eventually met my now X online, who was in process of divorcing. I kept her at arm's length for a time, eventually started falling in love and backed off. I really did.

But the lure of the one thing I had never had, which was a real marriage and real kids and a real life, won out. A few months before her divorce was final, after many months of conversation that would last until the wee hours of the morning, I admitted to myself that I was hooked. And like a lot of folks, I made the usual crap excuses to myself. We see that everyday on the forum and I was as guilty as any.

Maybe in some ways I still am. I am going to go into introspection to see. Thank you for your observations.

Now did I covet her improperly? Yes I did. I did so because I told myself that the divorce was going to happen anyway. Was I wrong telling myself that? Of course I was wrong. No excuses, but a reason. In hindsight, I lied to myself. And I am not going to use the feeble excuse that everyone does it. I did it and that has nothing to do with anyone but me.

Am I a flawed human? Of course I am. Do I try not to be? Of course I do? Have I succeeded? Of course not.

But I try. And I have an honor system that tells me to learn at every opportunity. I view life as an ongoing process. I grew up as a "Duty" child. I had no experience understanding what a real family could be. I knew it. And I also knew that was no excuse for me to do something wrong. But I did, anyway.

I paid a price to become who I am. We all do. I have tried to learn from my mistakes, good, bad or just dumb. Most of us learn more from the mistakes we have made than the good things we have done. Some of the best on the forum are people who have lived and learned, some from horrific personal mistakes. I am thinking that includes me.

I don't really know you Pep except from the posts I have seen you make over the years, which leads me to believe you are a good person. I don't know why you have joined the tag team but my respect for your timely and accurate appraisals is boundless.

Please think about that before you fire off your next salvo. And think also that I am someone who has latched onto MB concepts as a personal life preserver to explain why I made all the mistakes I made in my past life. And that I have made it my personal mission to help anyone I can based on the lessons I have learned. And that I am always willing to learn new ones.

My personal goal on the forum is to help those who want to be helped to acquire emotional tools and know how to use them. Those are tools that were not available to me. Pity.

Larry

Someone who is guilty of doing exactly that.

Larry

I find this remark very aggravating.
Probably because it is self serving for you to put me on a "tag team".

Me too. But I understand a waywards dislike of exposure.

However, I'm hopeful that someday you'll be thankful.

You can't fix what you won't acknowledge.

Mr. W