Tinkerbell, you are in my prayers. Wishing you a safe delivery and a healthy baby (what a gift from God!).

Thanks for the prayers for the delivery. My mom and two close friends will be with me for the delivery. WH can fly in when he gets paid which is friday. So he might be here for the birth, he might not. not sure if he will come then or not, he might have to wait a week.

Oh, if the child is born on Friday, that is my BD! Do you know if it is a boy or girl?

Hopefully things will go well. I had both my sons without drugs and things went well. The first was easy, the second was induced and I didn't even want to hold him afterwards. But they both had high Apgar (?) scores and were healthy.

Nice to not have drugs, but it you need them, don't hesitate.

Hang in there Tink. We are praying for you.

Good that he was willing to give you check stubs. At least he is open on that front.

Hey all, thought labor was going to start last night but of course it didn't. Those contractions just weren't progressing. So I was kind of disappointed. I think I am ready to have this baby. I just wish I had a husband who was not wayward right now. I don't even want to think about what it will be like having a newborn who needs me round the clock and two little boys who need me as well. They are not in preschool because we came back at the end of the year. My mom and dad work during the day so I will pretty much have no one here to help me. Of course mom and dad will take a few days off to help me but it's not like they can take a few weeks! So I'm scared about that. Plus those awful thoughts of WH livin it up and enjoying life with his little vampira not even thinkin about us at all. I want their stupid A to be ruined in any way possible. I don't care how it happens, I just want it over and done with and him to be VERY remorseful and want to DIE because of what he did. Because I would feel that way if I was running around while I have a family to take care of. Narcissism makes me ILL.

Is the baby here yet??? Hope you're doing well!

No baby yet. Thought I was in labor on Wednesday. I think I was having so many contractions because of my stress levels. That was the day my WH was sending me really stupid texts that were upsetting me. Obviously waywards never think of anyone but themselves so of course he didn't care that I would be really crushed by what he was saying to me and would be crying and very upset. He is being such an A-hole right now. I'm so tired of this. And it seems that vampira has left his a$$ behind. They aren't talking as much, if at all outside of work. I think that may be why he is in such a pissy mood and texting me crazy things. Is it normal for the WS to get angry with the BS when the AP is upsetting them or ending the A?

Maybe you need to protect yourself right now from his anger. That is the last thing that you, or the baby, need right now. You need to focus on staying calm and delivering a healthy baby.
You are sooo not in a position to be his emotional punching bag right now.

It may be that vampira found another OM who has more money.

It wouldn't surprise me. I checked her out, and with a college degree at age 11, well, she seems like she might be bored fairly quickly. Someone who learns that fast would need a genius in EVERYTHING to keep her interested

Vampira the woman who needs others to believe she is younger than she really is - chasing younger men, lying about her age...and he is pining for her? Trust me, he will be angry for only a short time. He's probably angry at you for being


RIGHT ABOUT VAMPIRA

People hate it when other people are right about them, and when they themselves couldn't see what was happening right in front of their own eyes. It's the "I told you so" effect. People hate to hear it.

Try not to say "I told you so." Even though you realllllly want to.

And he so richly deserves to hear it!

SB

Wondering if the baby is here????

Well???? Baby????? Update????

Any news?

Hey all, sorry it has been SO long since I've posted! I've only been online twice since the baby was born.

So, I went into labor Sunday May 2nd. All through the night I was having contractions but they were about an hour apart so I just tried to sleep! Then Monday morning I went in and they sent me to go walk at the mall. I got back and labor was progressing so they sent me to the hospital. I had my support group with me and I labored with no drugs and little Lael came into the world at 6:15pm on Monday May 3rd. It was an amazing day as well as a very sad day. My WH was not here for the birth and he has not been back yet. He says it is because of money. I believe that is the case, but at the same time he could be doing more to get here.

I am still in plan A. I am going to continue this until he comes back to visit. I have checked his call log and there have been no phone calls between him and vampira for the entire month of may. Around the time Lael was born he had started calling me everyday. I think that vampira is now only a work acquaintance.
He still won't admit to any wrong doing. He still tells me that his heart is not in it right now to be a husband. He stopped wearing his wedding ring, he told me. He said that he felt like he was lying by wearing it. At the same time as all of this he tells me that he wants me to pray for him and that there is still hope and that his feelings can change regarding our marriage.

So, what do I do with that? His idea is to save his money and come back to get us before summer is over. But he says that he can't promise that he will be 100% ready to commit fully to the marriage. But he says he wants all of us together and that he doesn't want a divorce. He tells me he loves me and misses me. I don't really want to go back to CA. I don't care if we stay in IA or not but I would rather be somewhere near family, whether his or mine if we're going to work this out.

What do yall think? Why is he still all confused if vampira isn't in the picture as much? They used to talk multiple times a day, and every night for atleast an hour. This has ceased to happen. So if he's not talking to her and getting what he needs from HER, then why the heck is he still not wanting to be a husband?

schoolbus, larry, stillhere, are you out there? lol...

He wants to cake-eat and you must stop him from doing so.

Wrap up your Plan A and go to a dark B soon!

Methinks he has found a way to go farther underground with the A. I assume he might have found an affair phone.

Sorry, TB - this was my first thought too......

He says he loves you and wants to be together, but isn't wearing his wedding ring and can't commit to the marriage 100%? Sounds suspicious and like he wants to cake eat to me too.

On another note - CONGRATS ON THE BABY!!!!

HUGE Congrats on the little munchkin. Of course, you already know what we were going to say. You need to go Plan B RIGHT NOW. He is definitely cake eating and he is still in a full blown affair. Why does he feel like a LIAR? Because he IS a LIAR. But, you already knew that anyways.

Don't ask us to figure out a wayward because frankly, we can't. He is a cake eater which in your case is good. This program works WONDERS on a cake eater. Will it be easy to do Plan B? Nope. Can you? Yep. Please think about this. You already knew we would advise this. If you came here for that extra little shove, here ya go.

Congrats on the baby, TB!

I agree w/the others ~ the A is still on. Maybe the dynamics have changed and they aren't talking on the phone as much...

Regardless, whenever there is work contact, the WS typically stays foggy and the situation is treated as tho the A is active.

How long have you been in Plan A? I definitely agree that it would be good to start getting your Plan B ready. Your H needs to commit to NC, O&H and Harley's plan for recovery for YOU to consider taking him back. I am just not sure on the timing, if it would be good to let him see you and the children and the baby and then give him the PBL. I hope SB chimes in soon.

Hang in there. Congrats again

He still "doesn't feel like being in a marriage" because the two of you aren't together and he "feels like doing whatever he WANTS"....which actually is


seeing vampira at work.

Even though the initial flames of their affair have died down a bit, and they may even have cut off whatever it was they had together, the fact remains that they work together.

This ongoing contact keeps him in the affair mode. It continues this thought and fantasy of "the grass COULD be greener".

Additionally, he is experiencing what is essentially the single life right now. He is on his own, has no responsibilities on a daily basis for you or the kids. He doesn't have to deal with the baby, your pain, your day-to-day issues of the REAL WORLD of being a dad. His fantasy of being free and single and able to chase other women is actually right there in front of him. So that concept of freedom that he thought he was craving is somewhat of a reality to him right now. The only problem for him is that the REALITY is that the people he loves are in Iowa, and he hasn't seen his new baby, and he is walking around wondering exactly how he got to this point.

Was vampira really worth this.......and he sees her at work and she isn't interested anymore......but he still has these lingering thoughts of this fantasy deal in his head.......then he talks to you about this REALITY and the love you still have and his little ones and this baby................



You need to hit him very hard with Plan B when you think the timing is right. He is cake-eating, and sees you as his fall-back plan. He thinks that you will wait forever, that he can be Mr. Cool out there in CA and play around with this - well, this NON-PLAN that he has. He is NOT making plans to come home. He is waiting this out to see what YOU are going to do.

Do something active to push him one way or the other. He has this idea that your marriage is "invalid", which HE has made up as a reason to cheat on you. He knows that. It is all a gimmick so he can mess around.

You need to finish your Plan A, and then slam that door shut with the darkest Plan B this side of the dark side of the moon.


SB