Yes, I do understand that plan B is to remove me from his abuse. I do see I need to change the way I'm doing things. I will get there, I promise!

During plan A it was so confusing at times, when we were away from the area we live in, he was the old H that I adored. He has never told me that he doesn't love me. Pretty attentive to most of my EN.

Now in my so called plan B, and reading through some others, he seems to be different. I know some of you have been around for sometime and have seen many posts by many BS, but I guess I'm just looking for hope...a newbie I am .

Thanks MB..a little hope is what I need today. If I know my WH, he is treating her like a queen on her bday.

You will continue to be exhausted until you go into a dark Plan B. It is to protect your love for him. He should not be coming to the house when you are there. He has his own place, right? He should not be texting you or calling you. He needs no contact at all with you so the OW is forced to meet all of his needs. Everytime you give him a missdragonfly fix, you are helping the OW.

Believer,

I don't believe he's moved in with her. I believe he is staying at a hotel that is 5 minutes away. I know he was staying there 3 weeks ago. I haven't driven by to verify if he has, I want out of his affair world. He did come home and leave some shampoos and coffee packets from that hotel so that's why I'm thinking he's there.

He just cashed out the last of his 401k (remember he has no job) and is using that for all these hotel nights. I'm concerned that when the money runs out he's going to force his way back into our home, and then I would have to move out which I don't want to do. One thing is I can't afford the mortgage on my own and he has made it clear he will NOT pay the mortgage if he moves out.

I didn't want him to come over last night. I thought I was doing very well by not responding to the many texts and calls..it was driving him wild. I now know I need to change the locks.

Quote: "Everytime you give him a missdragonfly fix, you are helping the OW."

I can see that this has happened..I haven't blocked his text and calls yet, and nothing from him. Ugh, I need to get that done.

One good thing, I'm going to have a drink with an old time friend that I haven't seen in over 5 years tonight. I'm hoping that will stop some of my "downer" thinking.

Get that stuff done pronto.

I'm very hopeful for your marriage. Seems like you've done a good Plan A. Now do a DARK Plan B.

MissDF(why MISS MTW? HEHEHEHE) I am so sorry that you are here but welcome. You have some of the hard hitters helping you out on your thread right now so I would heed their advice. You need to change the locks. Have you looked into selling your house? I mean how are you going to keep it afloat otherwise? All of these things have to be figured out so you can focus on you. If you have been reading as long as you say, you will know that what your WH is doing is what almost all WSs do when their BSs go into Plan B. They try to break Plan B because they don't like it. When there is a classic cake eater, the MB concepts tend to work on them. Does this guarantee success? Maybe not M R but DEFINITELY personal.

So what do you have to do? You need to change the locks. You need to figure out who OW is. You need to solidify that Plan B. That should be good for the weekend

Scotland,

Thanks for posting. I've been following your story for sometime now and am hoping and praying your WH will soon see the light.

I'm going to do a better plan B. I'm hoping to get the locks changed this weekend. My impression is he left for the weekend with her to celebrate both their birthdays. He still won't bring her out in public with him. That may change as I go darker into plan B.

I'm really trying to decipher his last messages though. It almosts sounds like he crying for help and really wants to get out of what he's doing, but doesn't know how. Isn't there someone here that is good at doing that?

Also, I forgot to mention that when he was at the house (while I was at work)last Thursday, my copy of the SAA book was moved and put in a different spot on my coffee table. I'm not sure if he picked it up and read some of it or he wanted it to look like he did. I dont' know..ugh!!

MissDF-Don't try to figure out what he is thinking and what he is doing. Especially if you want to be in a true Plan B. You need to get yourself out of his headspace and focus on you.

It is funny when I read comments that people read my thread and hope my WH gets his out of his AZZ. Funny thing is, every once in a great while I think, "Okay, play time is over. Get your azz home so we can start to recover." Then I drop my loonie and move on. It is not something that I think about on even a semi regular basis. Why? Because I am in Plan B and reaping the benefits. I have my bad days(yesterday after reading his response to our DS9's email) but they aren't everyday as before. I also believe that I need those bad days so I get a little angrier with WH so if he ever does get around to coming home, I won't let him take a small leap over that bar, he will have to make the biggest JUMP of his life. His email said that it isn't that simple, well he doesn't know how right he is.

So I am doing some laundry and reading today. What are you doing?

Besides try to stop thinking about what a great weekend those two are probably having together? I was thinking about reorganizing my (notice I say my) bedroom. I need to start thinking about packing up stuff if we end up selling this home. It's all so overwhelming sometimes.

How is the weather where you are? It is sunny here. A beautiful spring day. Can you take a walk somewhere? Maybe go get some ice cream. I am sure that the adultery diet has hit you too. You could use the calories.

Of course it's raining..my luck. I have lost some weight. I actually was planning on dieting, it was my new years goal, but D-day was Jan 15th and it definitly helped it come off alot faster.

Ok..everything was going well over the weekend. No contact at all. Now, we live on 8 acres of land, really no trees, just open field. You can easily see our house from the road. I was out mowing our yard and WH decides to pull up. Didn't like the idea of me mowing our yard, thinking he should do it. He keeps breaking Plan B. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this.

He then tells me that he plans to move back in a few days..UGH!! This means I'm going to have to move out of my house. I just want everything to go to plan and it's not. This is so difficult.

Why do you have to move out?