Yesterday was rough. Hated being suck in a room with him for so long. Spent way too much time answering questions about the issues in my son he had no interest in letting me share with him for 3 years. Asked about repercussions of taking DS out of his school and in to another when I left the room. He really thinks he is going to take my kids from me! Wants to bring them to the town where he and OW live, and just scrape me off the bottom of his shoe. (And collect child support from me of course.) Anyway, IEP team said that would be a very bad idea, and he reluctantly agreed.

No mention of the fact it was our 10 year anniversary. Not the anniversary I began planning 3 years ago.

He asked permission to say goodbye to son and daughter before he left. (Yes, court order says he needs my permission to have any contact with them aside from his alternative weekends.) I reluctantly agreed. Big mistake. DS was indifferent as he and WH were never that cloes. DD was thrilled because she thought him being there meant that daddy was coming home to live with us again. When she was told otherwise, HUGE meltdown in the middle of school. Crying, clinging to his leg, begging him to come home and be a family again, screaming she hated divorce, begging him not to leave. Finally I had to restrain her so he could leave, which he did very slowly, and with a smirk on his face. He was so proud of himself that his daughter missed him so much. The whole time I'm thinking, what the hell are you smiling about?!?

So much pain caused by first the affair and breaking up the family, and then his needing to shift blame to me rather than facing the responsibility of the wreck he made of his own family.