I dont know about that bingo. You should read this thread from the beginning...its like the bermuda triangle and deja vu mixed...Like the same things being written over and over again. Do do do do, Do do do do....The twilight zone thats it!

But I keep falling for it so I only have myself to blame.

ok, ok !
I was married many years ago and divorced. Some months after I had moved out, tried counselling and everything else available we called it quits. Thats my ex wife and I, to save confusion. We had kids and that was hard, but it was mutual with no particular angst and we get along fine now as distant friends with a common interest in our children. About six months after I left my marital home and after all options were exhausted, I met my current wife. We did not get together properly until my divorce was final some months after we met and I suppose, if memory serves me, that would have been about 11-12 months after I left my ex wife.
I hope that clears that up. I regret that my marriage failed, I was very young and not in love, and certainly not in the marriage frame of mind when my girlfriend announced that she was pregnant. At age 20 with little worldly wisdom I thought that it would be honerable to stick by her and be a father and husband. We had many more downs than ups but a couple of years later contraception failed and my second son was born. No regrets about that.
Cutting a very long story short, I had another house that I lived in for 7 of our 10 year marriage for a good portion of the time to give my children some sort of "family life" but there were years, and i mean years where we didn't sleep together (sex wise) and I became a father and provider and a reasonably loyal, but extremely lonely husband.
Enough became enough and we decided that we would seek advice and that didn't work and as such we decided quite amicably to divorce so that we could both get on with life. I was 30 at the time.
So, cut to recent years.
I met my current wife as described above and was not really terribly clever at traditional relationships. I was controlling and, to be honest, a bloody idiot for the majority of our relationship. I avoided marriage even after we had had two children and basically treated my partner like a door mat. All of my actions are described in past posts. I was a complete bast@�d.
Cut to 2008 Dec 28th. My wife wished to attend a family party and as usual I objected to us all going. She dragged the kids along without me and as such I was home alone. I had one of my "moods" and finished the relationship as I had done on countless occasions and told her to stay at the party and stay over night and I would pack her bags. She was heartbroken and for the first time since I have met her drank alcohol. Not only did she drink, she got completely drunk.
Feeling lonely, dejected, rejected and generally confused, she ended her night by kissing a very, very distant step relative who was also drunk and took a kiss to mean something entirely different.
My wife (then partner) admitted that she had kissed the guy and that things had got out of hand, but was odd about details and certainly very upset by the whole thing.
We had a great deal to discuss and without going into vast and well known detail, we worked out our issues and have been very happy since. BUT.......I was unsure of her motives and whether there was more to her ONS. I was convinced that there must have been more to this and that for her, to do such a thing, totally out of character must have meant that she was hiding something.
I did the usual. Checked emails, phone, movements etc etc. Nothing. I then suggested a lie detector test. She agreed.
When she told her story to the man doing the test, he said that it was his duty to report the matter as rape as she was not willing to do anything other than have a kiss and the whole thing one sidedly got way out of hand. She stated that it was not rape and that she would answer any questions regarding the evening in question and wanted that to be the end of it. She passed all of the questions including whether she wanted a relationship with the guy, whether she wanted sex and whether she had been unfaithful at any other time.
So, we had a bit of muck to clear up, but for all intents and purposes we had truth and a clear picture of what happened.
I obsessed and felt that something was not right and eventually, quite recently was faced with the reality that he had been slightly more forceful that my wife (now) ha let on, and that she did not wish to cause a family rift because of it.
She eventually wrote a statement to state what had happened and we are in the process of deciding what charges to press, if any as this would really throw a spanner in our very harmonious life.
We have been married for 16 months and this, even though the guy only managed to enter her for a split second, has played on my mind, which is why I came here in the first place.
The man in question, when I exposed the fact that i knew about the events admitted that my wife (then partner) wanted nothing more than a kiss and he was a little "excited".
My trouble is that I keep playing it over in my head. Not so much now, but when I first came here it was damaging my sanity. I couldn't believe that my wife would do such a thing and that there had to be more to it, and more commitment on her part, but in truth I am dealing with an entirely different animal to the one I came here for.
My gripe was that I was lambasted almost instantly for the way I met my wife and that help seemed to focus on that for good or bad. That still seems to be the case in parts, but there you have it. The truth.
I hope that answers all.
peace

Yes I am in the UK

Young and not in love. Then why did you create a baby?

I had used protection. All bar one of my children were conceived whilst protection was being used. Why the issue ?

I also make no excuses about the fact that I was still married when we met, all be it just legally.