Bingo, you need to seek out a mental health professional...yesterday.

For the love of your children, please seek help.

Sigmund Freud is dead.

Meh, that doesn't matter, now where did Tuddrussell and Larry go....

(Time Squad. It's an old cartoon where they went around making people from history do what they were supposed to. AKA Freud was making people think they were animals. AFter being stopped he had to help Paul Revere who was scared of horses...by making him think HE was a horse and riding him around town screaming the British were coming. Hahhaha, great stuff)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinclair_Method


Bingo

Place these events chronilogically with approximate dates

When did father commit suicide?

When did you quit CBT therapy?

When did you start the Naltrexone?

Nesre

I just want to add my two cents about a certain subject. If what happened to Bingos current wife took place as bingo described it.....she kissed another man...he forced himself on her...She said NO and pushed him away...he forced himself and succeeded to do what he intended...

That is rape...I was raped as a teenager. I said NO. I feel for this woman, if it happend as bingo described. I am not taking anything lightly, I am going by what bingo posted...I blamed myself and never got help for it until recently.

Karma and Bliss.
I have never bragged on this site, but I am good at what I do professionally (certainly not personally) therefor just as in business, I employ the best that I can. I have 4 1/2 children and realise that I have issues so why, with a bank balance would I not do what I could. If my house was falling down I would employ the best builder I could to make the roof over my children's house safe. Enough !!!
Stillhere.
I would hug you if i could. You have made so much sense of how my wife reacted it has changed EVERYTHING !!! Thank you. I now understand from female point of view the how's and why's. Bless you.
Nesre.
In order.
Day of atonement 2004.
September 2009
Jan 2009
Peace
p.s. Took the good lady to see Rufus Wainwright tonight. Great, great artist.

oh. MaiMai. I caught one of you on my last fishing trip. Give it a rest and post somewhere else.

stillhere.
I would like your input on what to do to help my wife.
I swear on my life i have told the truth and my wife has been proved to,
Please help.

and for those who are suffering from alcohol problems read Dr Roy Eskapa's book. "The Cure for alcoholism". He is a remarkable guy who I. and my wife, have had the pleasure of being counselled by here in the UK (for free I might add) but I know spends some time in the great US of A.

All I know is that she should get counseling for it, whether she believes she was raped or not, she was...it screws with your mind...and you definitely shouldnt give her anymore grief over this (I know it is hard for you too). But, it is much harder for her even if she isnt showing it.

bingo, really, if you love her, she needs to know that you do not blame her in any way for this. She is probably blaming herself enough as it is. She had a little to drink, she kissed him...she said NO. You think no would be enough, she was taken by surprise when it wasnt.

What she did wasnt rational...but from my experience you dont think rational...you are in the moment thinking how to get away, how to stop it, any way you can even if the decision doesnt seem rational. It was to her then. She needs to know that you dont hold her responsible for this.

This is just my opinion, from my experience. After understanding what happened to her more clearly, my heart just aches for her...unless you have been through something similar, it is just hard to understand.

This is the post that got to me....NO means NO. in my opinion this guy should be in jail.

Oh, and just to add that up until the time I got therapy, I never believed I was raped... or I believed it was my fault...I was embarrassed by what happened...I just, in my mind, pretended that it didnt happen the way it did, until I kind of just really forgot how it really happened. Not really, its kindof hard to explain.

It is just a weird way that I handled it...I was good at pretending things didnt happen the way they did so as to save myself....from what IDK, pain, embarrassment? IDK...of course until what happened with WH, but thats a different topic..

What I am trying to say is, she really really should go to some kind of counseling... She was sexually assaulted when she was younger ( I think, if I remember correctly) and this gives you kind of a warped sense of thought and stuff can happen again in future relationships (her relationship with you) if the issues are not addressed. At least in my experience...

Honestly, IDK if I can talk about this too much more, so dont take offense bingo...Something just struck a chord suddenly with your wife and I hate that she in anyway thinks she is at fault (and she does think it was her fault). IDK, I am just rambling now, sorry.

Actually, I am not gonna post on this thread anymore, bingo...

Tom2010 has accused me of having an online affair with you (and this was before my above post, but ill just leave it anyway) and impersonating a rape counselor, so maybe he sees something I dont see, IDK. I think it is best for me just to stick to the non-serious threads and my own. I know I can get a little carried away. For some odd reason I was left completely surprised and hurt by TOM's post, so I will just leave it at that.

I wish you and your wife well.

The "cure for alcoholism" that includes drinking and taking a drug? Uh, no thanks. I think I'll stick with abstinence and following a design for living that really works.

stillhere. I'm sorry I didn't reply to you earlier, but It was midnight in the UK when I posted past and my bed beckoned.
Everything, and i mean EVERYTHING you said is almost, to the word, how my wife has described it and still blames herself frustratingly. This is precisely why it has been tricky. The male mind, or mine anyway, says "well if you are not going to press charges for rape, then you must have wanted it ". Until you posted your experience, or a little about it, there was still a little of me that remained unbelieving.
The abuse by an older man earlier in my wifes life did form an odd way of dealing with certain things and again she boxed this off and never reacted as one would have thought she should.
She uses that phrase quite a lot. I just "boxed it off in my mind:and pretend that it never happened ".
As for Tom2010, I have never heard anything so stupid in my life. This is where this forum slips up occasionally. the level of suspicion and paranoia can make people say some ridiculous things. Thats actually quite sick. If there is a way to report someone, please do so. Surely we are on here to recover not create more problems in our lives.
I am grateful stillthere. You have made a great deal of sense of things that just didn't in my mind. Matbe the "it ta`kes one to know one" adage applies here.
Fred. Horses for courses my friend. AA cures 5% this method over 70%. I tried AA and it didn't work for me. I am not saying it is wrong, far from it, but this works a dream for me and has done for quite some time now. I truly can take it or leave it now.
What I would say though to anyone who is successfully in a plan like AA. Don't switch. Fred is right abstinence, if you can find it, is ar better. Cheers

Actually, I've just had my morning coffee and have become completely wound up by what Tom2010 has said to Stillhere.
Tom, stillhere has helped me a great deal come to terms with a difficult and complex set of circumstances. I had no understanding of how my wife felt about what has happened prior to stillhere having an input.
If you look back, stillhere has not exactly been kind at times as I am in what you good folks call "an affairage". That, considering stillhere's situation classes me as about as good catch as herpes.
I ask kindly that Tom2010 stays away from this thread and stillhere and keeps his opinions regarding this matter to himself.
I really feel that nesre and stillhere are helping my situation, or at least attempting to and for the first time in a very long time, there is some calm in my head.
Not only will this help me, but more importantly, it will help my wife and children. Surely that is the point of these forums.
Please stay with this stillhere. You have done nothing but good. I understand if you feel compromised and ultimately it is your decision, but you have really helped me and I am incredibly grateful. I will approach, delicately, the option of helping my wife with therapy.

Bingo, you know, you can block people if you want, and you won't see their posts.

Ok . Thanks . I didn't know that .

actually Karma, how do you do that ?

Click on someone's username, and click to go to their profile; there should be some options that include ignoring.