Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 13 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 12 13
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
Funny story, in a meeting of 20 execs including WW and OM, OM was giving a presentation. In the middle of the meeting/presentation, an email from WW dad arrived saying 'stay away from my daughter' (although it was worded a lot less subtley)! It popped up on the bottom of the screen (I think he has outlook) with a preview of the worst parts of the email! Everyone saw and knew exactly what it was about! Incredible timing! Oh the shame! They were both embarrassed beyond belief!! Ha ha.


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
OH that IS GOOD. I am loving THAT.

As much as you hate the idea of WW living with OM, remember that you are doing these things to try to SAVE your M. If you did nothing, then your M would most likely end and WW would move in with OM anyways. Do it the right way. Then you will be able to hold your head up high and say you did everything you could.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Member
G Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Work laptop = $2,000
Network version of Power Point = $200
Network version of outlook = $500

Outlook popping up a preview of your father in law emailing OM to stay away from your wife in front of the Board of Directors = priceless!

For somethings there is cash, for adultery there is Marriage builders!





Should I ave been an ad guy or what? grin


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Gack1
Outlook popping up a preview of your father in law emailing OM to stay away from your wife in front of the Board of Directors = priceless!

rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Prepare for VENOM!

Just ask if she wants a potato chip.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Member
G Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Prepare for VENOM!

Just ask if she wants a potato chip.
Or a cookie.

Would she like steak for dinner.

Would you like to watch"American Idell" banghead

Things like that.


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
You're right. Priceless.
Venom has started already. Well into venom stage. Very hard to resist retaliation, but I have been just as nice as possible. We'll see how it goes tonight again.


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 200
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by Gack1
Work laptop = $2,000
Network version of Power Point = $200
Network version of outlook = $500

Outlook popping up a preview of your father in law emailing OM to stay away from your wife in front of the Board of Directors = priceless!

For somethings there is cash, for adultery there is Marriage builders!





Should I ave been an ad guy or what? grin


Gack, I love these adverts anyway, but this would be brilliant.
Thanks for the laugh.
TM


Me:41
WS:42
Together 22 yrs, No kids
ILYBNILWY: April 09
WS & OW: Oct 08 - present
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/u...388#Post2282388
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by andy123
Funny story, in a meeting of 20 execs including WW and OM, OM was giving a presentation. In the middle of the meeting/presentation, an email from WW dad arrived saying 'stay away from my daughter' (although it was worded a lot less subtley)! It popped up on the bottom of the screen (I think he has outlook) with a preview of the worst parts of the email! Everyone saw and knew exactly what it was about! Incredible timing! Oh the shame! They were both embarrassed beyond belief!! Ha ha.

The vision of this is a beautiful thing. rotflmao


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
WW and OM up in an internal affairs (excuse the pun) investigation meeting/Questioning today. She called me in tears (which I still
don't like to hear) asking how I could risk her job with aformal complaint? I said it's what any sane person would do when OM is using his job to carry on with my wife. She didn't like that. I doubt anyone will be sacked, but it won't look good & will be very awkward. I'm expecting either massive amounts of venom later (was supposed to be meeting her after work) unless she does a runner back to OM and goes into communications blackout. We'll see.....


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Originally Posted by andy123
Funny story, in a meeting of 20 execs including WW and OM, OM was giving a presentation. In the middle of the meeting/presentation, an email from WW dad arrived saying 'stay away from my daughter' (although it was worded a lot less subtley)! It popped up on the bottom of the screen (I think he has outlook) with a preview of the worst parts of the email! Everyone saw and knew exactly what it was about! Incredible timing! Oh the shame! They were both embarrassed beyond belief!! Ha ha.

rotflmao Love it. Stand back from the venom andy. Don't engage WW because she will not hear you while her head is exploding or imploding. Let the APs throw each other under the bus; let FIL, HR and whoever else deliver the A-killing blows. Pop some popcorn and just observe.

@ Gack LMAO rotflmao Priceless


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by andy123
WW and OM up in an internal affairs (excuse the pun) investigation meeting/Questioning today. She called me in tears (which I still
don't like to hear) asking how I could risk her job with aformal complaint? I said it's what any sane person would do when OM is using his job to carry on with my wife. She didn't like that. I doubt anyone will be sacked, but it won't look good & will be very awkward. I'm expecting either massive amounts of venom later (was supposed to be meeting her after work) unless she does a runner back to OM and goes into communications blackout. We'll see.....

Good job, my man!! Just stay strong and don't let her venom bother you. smile It will blow over soon enough.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Member
G Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Originally Posted by andy123
I'm expecting either massive amounts of venom later (was supposed to be meeting her after work) unless she does a runner back to OM and goes into communications blackout. We'll see.....
Either way.
Pay this no more attention than you would a small child pitching a temper tantrum because they did not get what they wanted.

That is what it actually is.


What do your wife and OM do?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
Quote
She called me in tears (which I still
don't like to hear) asking how I could risk her job with aformal complaint?

Uh-uh. The actual question is, "How could YOU risk your job by having an affair with a co-worker?"


Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
Thats exactly what I said, but then just ignored all the rubbish and got a pizza in. She ate, complained some more then went to bed. She is going to stay at OMs tonight after viewing another flat to rent. It honestly looks beyond repair, but now I'm expecting it, it somehow makes it easier to take all the crap talking from her and stick to the plan.


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Andy-That's it. You need to stick to YOUR plan and not let your WW's actions determine what you will be doing. You need to ACT and not REACT.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
Another tough weekend, although WW did stay at the flat. I was hoping to go out with her and start trying to have some fun. She refused on Saturday so I went out with some friends and had a great time. Unfortunately i had said that I'd do something with her on the Sunday morning, but I ended up in bed after s heavy night. It was a stupid mistake on my part, and it is very very rare that something like that happens, but it happened on a day I could have made real headway. Anyway, after she spent all day reminding me of all the reasons she felt she had to go off with OM (because of me), we eventually went to bed on good terms, promising we won't cut each other out of our lives, and she was even saying she wish it hadn't all happened now. She is still determined to find a new flat and move away to start again, but at least I made a minute bit of progress.


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
We're in separate beds by the way.


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 93
Three things that WW says are keeping her from coming back to me when before she thought she would (although the signs and what she was saying at the time were the opposite).
1: she could never see my family again because they would judge her and hate her.
2: she can't understand why I haven't deleted the proof emails. I said I can't trust her yet but will do in time.
3: Our friends have all taken my side and very few have contacted her. I've told her everyone would like to see us together again but she feels deserted, and could never be true friends with them again.

I'm struggling to see how to get round these problems. Should I just stick to the plan A and hope that she loves me again so much that it overcomes these problems? Should I get people to intervene in a particular way to show her she can come back? Should I tell her I've deleted the emails even though I haven't?

These problems are causing big stumbling blocks and regardless of who caused them to be there, they are still there! Thanks for all your support!


(ME) BS - 32
(HER) WW - 32
Married 05/17/08
Together 13Yrs
no kids
D-Day - 03/03/10 (PA+EA)
FULL exposure 4/29/10
NC around OCT 2010
Recovery failing....
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 375
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 375
Originally Posted by andy123
Three things that WW says are keeping her from coming back to me when before she thought she would (although the signs and what she was saying at the time were the opposite).
1: she could never see my family again because they would judge her and hate her.
2: she can't understand why I haven't deleted the proof emails. I said I can't trust her yet but will do in time.
3: Our friends have all taken my side and very few have contacted her. I've told her everyone would like to see us together again but she feels deserted, and could never be true friends with them again.

I'm struggling to see how to get round these problems. Should I just stick to the plan A and hope that she loves me again so much that it overcomes these problems? Should I get people to intervene in a particular way to show her she can come back? Should I tell her I've deleted the emails even though I haven't?

These problems are causing big stumbling blocks and regardless of who caused them to be there, they are still there! Thanks for all your support!


I see a problem there. The real recovery can't start before a person owns his/hers wrongdoings and faces the consequences. But your WW wants to avoid that as I see from these "stumbling blocks".

These "blocks" translate to me as "please do not judge me guilty because of my crime and please delete all evidence".

This is very dangerous thinking. The only way out for her is honest apology to your family and friends and consistently transparent behaviour after that for regaining trust.


Me (FWH) 44
Mrs_Recon6mo (FWW) 42
Married 22 years
2 Children 20 and 22 years
Last D-Day for me: May 2009
Last D-Day for her: October 2008
Page 7 of 13 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 12 13

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 500 guests, and 30 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0