|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
There! Dr. H said it. Plan C (Compromise) is NOT something he recommends and more than likely you'll end up divorced if you try it instead of his recommended Plans A & B.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
Bummer had a meeting so I missed it - was it good (need I even ask?)
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I missed it, too, but listening to the prerecorded stream. I'm not sure if it's the same show or not.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I am listening to the re-broadcast and they are asking that you email Joyce before the show with your question at jharley@marriagebuilders.com
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
Tuning in - Got my little rear handed to me listening to the show 2 days ago, lets see what happens this time. 
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
When Joyce introduces her husband, she needs to mention he's her husband. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
Interesting Show today.
Caller in the second half dealing with his wife having an affair with her boss for over 1 year.
What I found interesting is the caller was counselling with SH who advised him to hold off on exposure until Plan B begins which will be soon. Dr. H stated several times that he may be a bit more hard line on this than his son, as he recommends a WIDE SPREAD Exposure ASAP. I can't even imagine the pain of the poor man watching his wife go to her AP every morning for A YEAR!!!! He called the non-exposure what it is: enabling.
He did a bit of a shout out to y'all too - he mentioned the numerous affairs on this forum that ended due to exposure.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 302
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 302 |
Hi Vibrissa! I listened to most of the show....(missed the 1st 8mins of it) but I was really surprised that the man caller said he had counseled with the son (Steve) and was advised not to expose! To wait until Plan B....it didn't make sense to me....this caller must be mixed up.
I mean he said his wife has been in the affair for 2yrs now....he found out when she was 1yr in and has plan A for 1yr now w/o doing exposure....surely Steve didn't tell him to wait a yr to expose....I think that just can't be right.
The advice Dr.H gave him on the show today was spot on...and what he should have done 1yr ago....I think the caller was relucant to do it and maybe he only recently called for a phone session to Steve and that's what is all mixed up with it.
Too bad he didn't do exposure right away 1yr ago....he could have killed that A....I feel so bad for his kids....nobody in that family even knows about the Wife's A....the H has kept it all a big secret.....and also in our state you can't move over 100 miles away from your spouse when you get a D....they have rights to see the kids also....so telling him to take them and move to another state isn't gonna work in court....this man really really blew it by waiting.
He is better off.....doing exposure to ALL NOW and then doing plan A....like he should have in the beginning and seeing if he can't end the A.
Sorry got carried away.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
gem- hiya!
I agree with you. It is possible that it got all mixed up b/c I can't imagine SH counselling to wait on exposure (albeit I've never counselled with him just going based on what people round here say).
It's possible he just recently called SH and since he's going into a plan B pretty soon he advised waiting.
Harley also said to tell the kids and even advised the father and kids move away, leaving the wife to her AP. He was pretty hard line about it: tell everyone, don't help her get her own place, if possible take a job in a new city and dark Plan B.
My heart aches for the poor man living that way for a year, and his poor kids feeling their world crumbling around them and not knowing why.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Looks like they are doing a shout out to all of us Texans by playing "Yellow Rose of Texas." Thanks, Brian, on the radio program.  Joyce Harley didn't know that the Yellow Rose of Texas was a person...
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Joyce Harley didn't know that the Yellow Rose of Texas was a person... 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Looks like they are doing a shout out to all of us Texans by playing "Yellow Rose of Texas." Thanks, Brian, on the radio program.  Joyce Harley didn't know that the Yellow Rose of Texas was a person... I MISSED YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS!!??? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,772
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,772 |
gem- hiya!
I agree with you. It is possible that it got all mixed up b/c I can't imagine SH counselling to wait on exposure (albeit I've never counselled with him just going based on what people round here say).
It's possible he just recently called SH and since he's going into a plan B pretty soon he advised waiting.
Harley also said to tell the kids and even advised the father and kids move away, leaving the wife to her AP. He was pretty hard line about it: tell everyone, don't help her get her own place, if possible take a job in a new city and dark Plan B.
My heart aches for the poor man living that way for a year, and his poor kids feeling their world crumbling around them and not knowing why. Either that, or Dr H got off the radio and gave his son what-for!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Am I crazy, or is today's program a program I've heard before?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
RERUN! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
"I generally recommend that men stay in plan A as long as they possibly can." (verbatim quote from Dr. Harley)
"Even at the expense of their health, to some extent, because women respond better to plan A" (paraphrased)
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
RERUN!  I think it gave me the chance to hear the beginning of the show which I must have missed the first time.  By the way, for anyone who hasn't realized, yet, you can listen to old shows 24/7. They aren't too different from the new shows. I'm sure MelodyLane has them memorized, but for the rest of us, there's not too much difference between catching an old show and a new one.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698 |
 I cant listen to it. I have downloaded all the suggested plug in's and I still cant get it to work.  I'm missing outtttttttttttttttt. *sniffle*
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
314
guests, and
54
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,487
Members71,942
|
Most Online3,185 Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|