She has always soically drank. It was never a real problem until recently when she has been away. When I am around she keeps it in control.
I do not know the person. He is married. I've told her that I would call the wife and she knows I will. The pproblem is that if I do that the marriage is over. It might be over now except for the shouting, but it will be if I do. She will be home soon with no more TDY's for at least the next serveral months. She has been in schools.
Don't threaten her with exposure to OMW. Just DO it. Of course she'll be pissed, they always are. Your marriage can withstand her temporary anger; it cannot withstand an ongoing affair. If you threaten to expose and then don't, a couple of things will happen, none good:
1. It will drive the affair underground.
2. Your WW will tell OM and they will spin the A so that you end up looking like some deranged husband going through a mid-life crisis and having wild notions about these two poor innocent military folks engaging in an A. That's what OM will tell his BW. Your credibility will be shot before you even pick up the phone.
You are guilty of having the wrong plan. Your current plan is Plan Hope. You hope your WW suddenly comes to her senses and ends the A. You hope OM feels threatened by the possibility of exposure enough to end the A. None of these things will happen, surprised.
Meanwhile, OM's poor BW is muddling along, trying to figure out why her M seems suddenly so cold and sterile, while her H is acting funny. She's trying to figure out what she's doing wrong that is making him so angry with her all the time. She doesn't have the one critical piece of knowledge that would cause everything to make sense: She doesn't know he's having a A with your W. Do her the greatest favor you could ever do for another human - tell her. She deserves to know.
The added benefit would be that the exposure to her will quite likely kill the A.
You're going to have to make a choice, here, surprised. Either you suit up and go get your wife or you let the OM have her. She's not going to do this on her own. She is addicted to him and needs your help to break the addiction.
And your kids? You're worried about their socio-economic status? Visualize being divorced instead of exposing. How would that work? You think they're going to be hunky-dory in
that situation? Really?
