Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 10 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
Originally Posted by chrisner
If you are ambushed and do nothing, you will die. If you take action to break up the ambush you are still at risk but you have a chance. You get a fighting chance.

Technically (and tactically) speaking, you have to get out of the kill zone. If you remain in the kill zone and attempt to fight back, you will be destroyed.

Someone else can turn that into an MB analogy.

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Originally Posted by chrisner
If you are ambushed and do nothing, you will die. If you take action to break up the ambush you are still at risk but you have a chance. You get a fighting chance.

Technically (and tactically) speaking, you have to get out of the kill zone. If you remain in the kill zone and attempt to fight back, you will be destroyed.

Someone else can turn that into an MB analogy.


Hey Gurka! How are you doing?

Considering the source I will defer to this however the term "assault the ambush" was widely used in Vietnam and from the Camp Lejeune 2008 USMC FMST Student Manual on Patrolling:

Immediate Action Drills - there are times when contact with the enemy is unexpected. For this we have immediate action drills.

Hasty Ambush - used when you see the enemy before being seen. You quickly move into a concealed area and engage the enemy or allow them to pass.

Danger Area - is where the patrol is vulnerable to the enemy observation and/or fire (roads, open areas).

Immediate Assault - used when you are caught in a near ambush. Turn in the direction of the ambush and assault the ambush.

Near Ambush (50 meters or less) - the killing zone is under heavy, highly concentrated, close range firing. Turn in the direction of the ambush, staying aligned, and assault through the ambush.

Far Ambush (Over 50 meters) - the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated firing, but from a greater range. The range allows people in the killing zone to seek cover and return fire. Those members not caught in the kill zone will envelop the ambush.


Last edited by chrisner; 05/21/10 11:44 AM.

Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
I was wondering when someone was going to bring up what kind of ambush, not to mention that for a near ambush, you assault THROUGH the ambush, not just assault the ambush.

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner

I don't get it. Invader breaks into the house and he bravely defends his family. But an invader breaks into his marriage and his children's family and he turns French.. crazy

Do you watch the Simpsons? Homer called the French "Cheese eating surrender monkies!" I know that is not politically correct, but I about died!


uuuhum. and now back to decorum...


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by barbiecat
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner

I don't get it. Invader breaks into the house and he bravely defends his family. But an invader breaks into his marriage and his children's family and he turns French.. crazy

Do you watch the Simpsons? Homer called the French "Cheese eating surrender monkies!" I know that is not politically correct, but I about died!

rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Man, you all are a tough crowd. Okay for the purposes of this thread we shall go with the USMC definition of a Near Ambush.


Originally Posted by Marine MCWP 3-11.2 Scouting and Patrolling
Near Ambush. In a near ambush, the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated, close range fire. There is little time or space for members to maneuver or seek cover. The longer they remain in the killing zone, the greater the chance they will become casualties. Therefore, if members in the killing zone are attacked by a near ambush, they immediately assault without order or signal directly into the ambush position, occupy it, and continue the assault or break contact as directed.



They don't mention the pucker factor in that anywhere.

Not a job for cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

Last edited by chrisner; 05/21/10 12:46 PM.

Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
So I am assuming that the basic message here is that instead of cowering and shuddering and being afraid to upset, embarass, or make mad the wayward spouse, the answer is to stand up and take advice from someone who made his lifetime career saving marriages.

Just checking.

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
Yup, no matter how you look at it, the Marine Corps way or the right way, if you remain in the kill zone, even seeking cover, you're going to lose.

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by lurioosi2
So I am assuming that the basic message here is that instead of cowering and shuddering and being afraid to upset, embarass, or make mad the wayward spouse, the answer is to stand up and take advice from someone who made his lifetime career saving marriages.

Just checking.

hurraydance2


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
I'm feisty today....not in much of a "but but but" or pick apart the analogy mood.

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 580
Also, the best response should no longer be referred to as a "tsunami of truth," but instead a "JDAM of truth."

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Quote
Also, the best response should no longer be referred to as a "tsunami of truth," but instead a "JDAM of truth."


I had to look that up. Cool. Increasing the IQ of dumb bombs.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by lurioosi2
I'm feisty today....not in much of a "but but but" or pick apart the analogy mood.

grin

Last edited by stillhere8126; 05/21/10 01:30 PM. Reason: fix my oh oh

BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile


rotflmao Silly Texans.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by stillhere8126
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile


rotflmao Silly Texans.

What do you silly yankees do with your pistols??? think


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Originally Posted by chrisner
It�s interesting how many men react to their wife�s adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple don�t understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. It�s always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of �pushing her further away�. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they won�t even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to �assault the ambush� mentality. Don�t hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And he�s hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you �If you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!�, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

I don�t know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?

Amen!!!


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by Mark1952
Your wife is boinking another man and wants to leave you because of it. How much worse do you think you can make it?

Exactly!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 136
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by Mark1952
Where's that post on "It's the fear" when I need it?

By star*fish on 03-29-2006:

"It is the fear that paralyzes you, sends blood rushing through your veins, sours your stomach, and interupts your sleep. It is the fear that gives away your power, your hope, and your forgiveness. It is fear that robs you of the active self and traps you in the role of patronizing enabler who will take them back at ANY cost...even if the price is too high. It is fear that keeps you from confronting and exposing. And fear that prevents you from enforcing your boundaries and having compassion for yourself.

Fear of abandonment.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of reaction....yours, theirs.
Fear of future...the unknown.
Fear of destitution and want.
Fear of failure.
Fear of losing.
Fear of loss.
Fear of solitude.
Fear of settling.
Fear of change.
Fear of lack of change.
Fear
Fear

Infidelity creates FEAR....and fear is crippling. Research shows us what we already know in our hearts....when we are fearful....we are unable to fire up the parts of our brains that "process" information on a logical, rational, spirtual level and create solutions that increase the odds for success in crises. When we are fearful....we don't use our neocortex....but instead, it is our limpic system which lights up our MRIs....our animal brains wired for "fight or flight".

There is no HOPE in our animal brains....because our indentity, our souls, our compassion....don't reside there. You are only capable of conflict or escape when you are there....so you must find a quiet place to deal with your fears so that you can confront, expose, do all the things that overcoming infidelity entails....all the things that happiness entails. You must value yourself as well as protect yourself, without fear of losing your WS or enforcing boundaries.....because if you don't....all your fears will be realized anyway.

MB is not designed to trap you in a marriage where your feelings are crushed and disrespected or the vows of marriage are meaningless. It's designed to help you overcome fear and give you hope that marriages CAN recover from infidelity....but you must be brave and be willing to risk losing your WS in order to regain trust, fidelity, security.

You must be willing to see beyond your pain and take logical and systematic steps to undermine the affair and increase the stability and security of your marriage. That takes courage above pain. It takes the peacefulness of knowing you are strong enough to lose a self indulgent and unrepentant spouse or recover with a flawed, but motivated one.

Don't let your fear take back a spouse who isn't ready to do the hard work recovery after infidelity entails. It is an invitation for misery.

If you don't believe you CAN survive without your WS....you cannot do what you must do to ensure success.

Stop being fearful of their threats...they are just excuses to leave or be selfish.

Stop being fearful of their reactions....their reactions arise from their guilt...not your boundaries.

Stop being fearful of taking a stand....it's the only way to gain respect or trust.

Stop being fearful of being alone.....until you can stand on your own and risk losing them, you will NEVER know if they remain with you by choice. And you will never know if you want them or you NEED them.

And if you need them....even if they return....you are in trouble chere."




Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Benjamin Franklin~
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile

There�s no room for cheese eating surrender monkeys here!



Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Page 6 of 10 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 113 guests, and 44 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro, annonymous, Robert Robertson
71,893 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,893
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5