My WW just ended the A 3 weeks ago.I guess she is still in withdrawal.She is beginning to show some remorse but she has no desire to recommit to our marriage.Is it normal to be remorseful but yet has no intention to rebuild the marriage?

X,

A wayward that is remorseful, WOULD be rebuilding their marriage.

Your wife is just feeling sorry for herself because the affair ended and placating you and anyone else, that causes her to feel guilty, by saying she's sorry, over and over again. That type of behavior is very far removed from actual remorse.

Have you read the book "Surviving An Affair"? It will teach you what YOU need to be doing to fight the remains of this affair and help put a nail in it's coffin before it ignites again.
I would also recommend you call the "MB Coaching Center". They are the fastest path to resore a marriage, if your really serious about it.

I am very serious about it but I dont think I could afford the coaching sessions yet.W said she is remorseful but has fallen out of love with me.She is no longer attracted to me and she sees me as a family.Makes sense?She wants a separation to see if she really wants me when I am not by her side.

X ... I posted to you on your thread. The issue is you are not understanding the nature of her addiction.

Do you believe adultery is addiction? If yes, then replace (OM, toxic friends, new OM, divorce) with crack ... because that is all her behavior is about.

She doesn't want you today because you don't give her those giddy, romanticized, brain chemicals those loser friends of hers and OM can give her.

She doesn't like you because you are making her choice of drug difficult to obtain ... hence you are an enemy to her HIGH.

She wants to separate because getting those intoxicating feelings is more important than anything else on the planet today, and she knows she cannot do it in your presence.

Stop making excuses for her and please understand the nature of her emotions. She is an addict!!!!

Kill the affair, Plan A your butt off, be manly, a leader, her rock and just maybe she may get HIGH off you.

The goal is to be the better drug ... right now you want her to look at you and start feeling those feelings again. That can only happen by a stellar Plan A and being the man she fell in love with.

There will be a time and place for her to get repentant and remorseful ... that is after this sordid adultery of hers is dead.

Kill it any way you can and then be her stud ... Stellar Plan A is all you should focus on at this moment.

Thanks PI.
I killed the A by exposing to OMW .Been 3 weeks already.W is defogging gradually but still a bit wayward from time to time.Her toxic friend called her and messed with her head and suddenly she is talking separation now.I agree 100% with you that she is an addict.I'm just worried that the A could be resurrected with further contact or when W feels weak and confused just like she is now. Isnt plan A only applies to active affair?

Here are some excellent radio clips with a WW and BH that have recovered and survived an Affair.
Radio Clip on Recovery with a WW and BH
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4

NO it is when they are wayward. She is wayward, and you can plan A for a very long time with her. That is what Dr. Harley suggests. At least 6 months if you can.

Marking so I can find again

And a thank you to the poster who was reading it, which brought it to my attention

Jeez, I just realized I read and posted here a year ago. A year ago and I still wonder if I will ever see repentance.