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Originally Posted by mr_anderson
i can't even begin to imagine what it would be like for my wife to initiate SF in the morning...and she's a SAHM...what a way to start the day connecting intimately...who can't spare 10 minutes?

Really, I would have even been ok with 5. I guess my H could not spare the minutes.

Maybe he was still satisfied with last night, I do not know. But, I am not going to dwell on it. He said we would have SF when he got home.


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Stella, do you need a hug today? I have some I could spare. I just got done snuggling my very snuggly two year old and I am all filled up with love!


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oh, rub it in her face, G. laugh


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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No, really. What I have learned over the past couple of years, is when Stella gives advice that makes me want to pull my hair out, she is generally having a bad day and could use some support. smile


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Oh, and I forgot to mention - my H canceled his trip since I cannot go! I am certain we will have to pay a fee (airline), but it is worth it to me!


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We want to go wine tasting this weekend (we live in Wine Country) and we have asked all 4 of our sitters. 3 are busy and the 4th is supposed to let us know today. I really, really, really hope she can. The past 4 or 5 times we have wanted to get a sitter to do something together, they have all been busy!


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Originally Posted by Gdar
We want to go wine tasting this weekend (we live in Wine Country) and we have asked all 4 of our sitters. 3 are busy and the 4th is supposed to let us know today. I really, really, really hope she can. The past 4 or 5 times we have wanted to get a sitter to do something together, they have all been busy!
my wife and i ran into the same issue...babysitters busy or if we find one, she lives a ways off and we have to pick her up and drop her off...

we solved this issue, we swap babysitting duties with other couples we know with kids...that way, my wife and I have no "curfew" and we don't have to worry about picking them up/dropping them off...

works great so far!

Last edited by mr_anderson; 05/27/10 06:53 PM.
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Currently looking for another couple to follow through...

Well, our 4th and final sitter is busy this weekend. Booooo.

Trying, people. I AM TRYING. I have to admit, it is getting harder. Evening like this:

Text from H to let me me know he will be home 4:30ish. Calls me at 5:30 to tell me he in on his way, but he has to stop at the grocery store to buy supplies for a school deal he is doing tomorrow (that he has known for 2 weeks is tomorrow, but never shopped for until last minute). My son is in the car with him, and they start bickering while I am on the phone with him. My son asked H to get him some icecream, H asked him if he had any money, son says "no, I have not received my allowance". H says to ME, in front of my son "I am so sick of your kids".

Hmmmmmmmm. Not cool.

He has been in a foul mood since he has been home. Not a smile. I have hugged, kissed, been fliratious, offered to have SF real quick (as he told me I would get it when he got home).

Still no SF, still no smiles. Still in a bad mood.

Growing frustrated, because I feel I have made it as easy as possible for him to come home to dinner, sex and some wine. He is reluctant at best tonight.


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Gdar, I'm curious. I know that you have four kids. I have four kids on a regular basis and five every other weekend. How is it you find the time and privacy so easily to have sex anytime you want (if your husband would put out everytime you wanted)?

We have a three year old that whenever we are home if we are out of her eyesight for more than a minute, she's knocking on our door, the bathroom, wherever looking for us and yelling "Mom! Dad!" until we finally show ourselves. My wife can seem to have sex through that; I cannot. And since she�s yelling, it brings the attention of the other kids trying to find us.



Husband (me) 39
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Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

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I have fostered a sense of privacy in my kids since they were little. I taught them to knock, and have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on our bedroom door. I started this with the older 2 when they were little, starting with the bathroom. It seems obvious to everyone in the house the bathroom is a private place. So is our bedroom. If the door is open, all is clear, if it is shut, we need our alone time. Even our MC encouraged us to keep this up when we did our "homework" of 10 solid minutes of uninterrupted, no-kid time. We put the older 2 in charge of the younger 2, so they knew that when H came home, we had 10 minutes, no questions asked.

Even the barely 2 year old says "Come In"? before he crosses the threshold (learning it from the others).

I make a point, always have, even when I was married to my ex H, that parents need their private time and it is to be respected. A 2 and 3 and 4 yr old can play in their rooms without losing an eye if you have it set up correctly. smile


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Ok, trying to keep it together here folks, and this may be deemed an overshare, but I am at a loss. And a bit freaked out, to be honest.

I did what I needed to do to get my SF (and that is all I am saying about that). Well, in the middle of it, it.. it just wasn't... happening. This has never, ever, ever happened before. Not even close. Ever. I asked if we could try again later, he did not respond and then he "went to sleep".

I am sitting here in total amazement of what just happened (or didn't happen).

I am not sure what I feel right now, but it is not positive.


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Aw, I'm so sorry...

*HUGS*

{{{{{ Gdar }}}}}

Try not to take it personally. I know, easier said than done... but maybe he was just really really tired...

My H can literally fall asleep in about 60 seconds. If I'm waiting for him to come to bed to talk to him, and I do something like get up to brush my teeth, when I get back I will have missed the window of opportunity. frown

And yet somehow if he's on call and someone from work calls, he's awake and can talk them through a procedure, can log into the computer and problem-solve, all sorts of things.

But he could sleep through a baby crying and throwing up, and me changing sheets and getting medicine and all sorts of stuff.

To be fair, he was instantly alert whenever I needed him, 24/7, for months, when I was sick.

(Oops, sorry, not sure how I turned this into talking about me instead of comforting you. *hugs* How you doing now? Are you still online?)

Last edited by jayne241; 05/27/10 11:47 PM.

me - 47 tired
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I am here, I am here. And again, I relate to every single word you just typed. Every one. And now, I want to cry. Not because of you, but because you are right. Babies puking, puppy crying, wife needing some love, attention, SF, conversation, whathaveyou and he is too tired. But by God, if work calls, not only is he awake, he is problem-solving, attentive and hard working.

And it hurts.

And I drank wine tonight. Alone.


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Originally Posted by Gdar
Stella, I have mad love for you, but I have to agree with CMWI. I LOVE being a mother. LOVE IT. My kids are not going anywhere. LOL

I am not getting rid of a puppy we just got. It is important to ME to have my children be raised with a pet. It teaches patience, love, care and empathy.

Not to mention we had a home invasion (on a Sat night while we were HOME) 2 months ago, and I have a feeling if our German Shepherd would have still been alive, that would not have happened (she died 4 yr ago), so I got another one.

Hi alter, what's shakin in your parallel universe? If you aren't my twin then no one is! ROFL


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
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DS 8a think
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(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
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and Jayne, you said when you were sick for months on end, he was there for you. That is awesome. I was gone for a year, did I miss something? That is a long illness...


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Originally Posted by Gdar
I am here, I am here. And again, I relate to every single word you just typed. Every one. And now, I want to cry. Not because of you, but because you are right. Babies puking, puppy crying, wife needing some love, attention, SF, conversation, whathaveyou and he is too tired. But by God, if work calls, not only is he awake, he is problem-solving, attentive and hard working.

And it hurts.

And I drank wine tonight. Alone.

Aw honey... you want I should get a glass of wine and join ya?


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Jun 2008
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Originally Posted by jayne241
Originally Posted by Gdar
Stella, I have mad love for you, but I have to agree with CMWI. I LOVE being a mother. LOVE IT. My kids are not going anywhere. LOL

I am not getting rid of a puppy we just got. It is important to ME to have my children be raised with a pet. It teaches patience, love, care and empathy.

Not to mention we had a home invasion (on a Sat night while we were HOME) 2 months ago, and I have a feeling if our German Shepherd would have still been alive, that would not have happened (she died 4 yr ago), so I got another one.

Hi alter, what's shakin in your parallel universe? If you aren't my twin then no one is! ROFL

You want pictures??? Her name is Frieda (peace and joy in German) and she is AWESOME!


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Ooh ooh ooh, yes!!!!!


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Jun 2008
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Originally Posted by jayne241
Originally Posted by Gdar
I am here, I am here. And again, I relate to every single word you just typed. Every one. And now, I want to cry. Not because of you, but because you are right. Babies puking, puppy crying, wife needing some love, attention, SF, conversation, whathaveyou and he is too tired. But by God, if work calls, not only is he awake, he is problem-solving, attentive and hard working.

And it hurts.

And I drank wine tonight. Alone.

Aw honey... you want I should get a glass of wine and join ya?

Please?! I understand if you are too tired, though. I am on the West coast and it is still not considered too late.:)


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Originally Posted by Gdar
and Jayne, you said when you were sick for months on end, he was there for you. That is awesome. I was gone for a year, did I miss something? That is a long illness...

It was before I came to MB. During the C-section when our kids were born, my bowel was perforated, I got sepsis,yadda yadda, 5 surgeries and numerous "procedures" over the next year, H took care of me while my mom, sis and aunt took care of the babies...

It's written in greater detail somewhere in my thread.


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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