ITA agree with Mel and Mulan and it seems to be happening more and more.

The OW in my sitch was one of these type of women, she wanted my husband come hell or highwater.

Well HELL met her at the door damn it in our case and HELL won.

My FWH told me that he always told her that he loved me.

I do not understand how they can lower themselves to be the scum of the earth that they are.....

In both my H's A it was him pursuing OW in a pretty forward way. Of course it is not excuse because OW could simply tell H to leave her alone.
Still I think OW plays a minor role. WS is just 100% selfish adn OW is just in the right place at the right time. In fact it is pretty much standard what OW ends up being:
co-worker
WS best friend
neighbor
HS sweetheart.

Wow, really no sweat..these OW are there and available just when WH is ready and ripe for A.
blessing

The OW in my sitch was pretty much exactly like the article describes.

She is single and goes from man to man using her feminine wiles to get what ever she wants from them and then moves on to the next, it does not matter if the man is single, engaged, married, as long as he serves her purpose....

And my goodness was she pi$$ed at me because she did not get my husband.

He left me for two days and i am sure she thought she "won" or whatever.

He came back and has never looked back and she HATED it, she called me all the time to try to cause stuff.

It was incredible to say the least....

You are a lucky one because your H broke off with her pretty fast. In general however, what we are dealing with here on MB are the most difficult cases.
It seems that when a man enters an A with the type of OW described in article he pretty soon see thru her. These kind of OW are more like wh@res. The types I described in my post are more regular women and the WH might fall in love with them and it is then harder to break it off.
blessing

I just can't fathom putting out for some man who would never pay for it, never consider a future with me and would be too ASHAMED of me to take me to meet his mother and his children.

I have much more respect for a prostitute. At least she gets paid for putting out and approaches it as a business. These unpaid wh*res don't even get a fiver for their services.

What stupid, stupid women to volunteer to be treated as a SKANK.

I still believe the WH "falls in love" with a fantasy, the waynerds are not showing their true colors.

They act as though they are courting or dating or however you want to put it and they put their best foot forward so to speak.

Think back to when your WH courted you, i am sure you thought he was the greatest for a very long time. Because he was showing the best in himself.

Once that "newness" wears off or as it is referred to on MB the fog lifts, I think most of them realize what they have done.

Now some of them may be too darn stubborn to admit they are wrong and ask for forgiveness so they just continue to be unhappy with their OP as to not "look bad" if that makes sense.

Atena, all OW are wh*res. There is nothing regular about being a wh*re and screwing a married man.

In the VAST majority of affairs, the H does fall in love with the wh*re, hence the "addiction" aspect that Dr Harley describes. It is ALWAYS hard to break it off; that is the rule, rather than exception.


These women are lower than prostitutes because they put out for free.

Me too Mel, me too

I never saw it that way but I guess you are right. It is mind boggling how WH can actually fall for them ad stay in love for years (like Dr. Harley states).
You would think after a while they would see thru them. How long can these OW pretend to be what they are not? Or is WH so selfish that he just wants to see in her what he wants to see and avoids looking at her for what she is?
My H's OW seems like the sweetest little thing in the world, not at all a wh@re that is why I never thought of it that way. She has 2 kids, a heart condition...and her job is to watch handicapped people so she has infinite patience. Now she added another handicapped person to look after...my WH

I don't know for sure atena, i know my h i think still does not really see his FOW for what she is, i know that is a DJ and i could be wrong as i have never came out and asked him but i do know that if something is ever said about her i have a not so very nice term i use for her and it seems to bother him when i say it.

my H was like that after his first A. He kept saying "she was a nice person and she did not want to get involved with a M man, but I insisted"
Second A...
blessing

Oh he does not say she was a nice person, he does not think that highly of her .

I guess he just is not as disgusted with her as i am (i know i have more of a reason but still).

Maybe part of it is that he does not want to admit that the HE would be involved with someone so low. I mean as Mel said all OW are low but the kind like her are extra low in my book anyway....

Maybe so. I think that to R a M a radical shift must happen in both the WS and BS. Probably more in the WS as he has to literally become a better person, a much better one. If not so, it is just a shuffle and not much changes,,,
blessing

Oh i agree with you 100%.....

and they will be different if we see them so ...forgetting the past and heading towards a wonderful marriage...that is what I wish for you
blessing

Jumping in late but I have to respond to this:
This number seems surprisingly low. Could it be that this is the percentage of divorces where someone has ticked off "adultery" on the divorce forms? My suspicion is that many divorces due to "irreconcilable differences" are actually due to adultery that neither spouse wants to admit to. There is still a strong social stigma about being a BS. Many new BS's come here afraid to expose because of it. The adultery erodes their marriage which dies a slow death regardless of whether the affair continues or not. Those BS's rarely hang around. The grand majority of BS's out there never find this site to start with.

If only 17% of divorces are due to infidelity, what are the other 83% due to?

Yeah, I am with you Tab...I would say the 83% would be closer to the number of divorces due to infidelity....and the 17% due do something else is more like it. I know that would be an exaggeration, but I would believe that statistic if i saw it more than the other way around.

I think you are 100% correct. And I think this will change when people start TALKING ABOUT what really happened to their marriage and the devastating effect it had on the entire family, whether the marriage was saved or not.

In my case, POSOW is single. She didn't have a boyfriend for a while. I don't know how long exactly because of course they all lie. I know she is insecure and has low self esteem. She played the dumsel in distress card and WH lapped it up. I would NOT go after a man that was attached to someone else in anyway. These men are OFF-LIMITS in my book.

I remember POSOW saying to me on March 14, 2009, "Why would I want to be with WH? Why would I want to be with a man who would cheat on his wife?" When I talked to her on DDay for PA, I re-asked her this question. She didn't have an answer.

I know that my WH wouldn't have actually left on his own had I not asked him to go. He was still maintaining that they were, "just friends" before I installed the keylogger. He had family and wife with girlfriend on the side and wanted to flip it to, girlfriend at home with family on the side. Not what I wanted at all.

I also think that Sex in the City has helped with this phenomenon. They glorified this type of behaviour. It is sickening.