|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
well here is an interesting update, OW's mothere just called and she is angry at me for having sent the e mails to OW's children and she is begging me not to send the pictures, she says she does not understand why I would want to turn the children against their mother, I told her it was her daughter that did that not me.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Don't engage a waywards mother either. You are going to do what you have to do to save your marriage. MOST people IRL believe that affairs should be kept secret. I would be RICH if I could get a Loonie(dollar) from every person who told me not to tell people and it should be kept between WH and I. This is a new world. DrH suggests it and I believe in him totally. If he told me to sky write it over a baseball game, I would. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
LOL Yea I kinda like that idea. Next on my list is her co-workers, I text OW and told her to stay tuned for the next chapter. Let her fret as to which direction I will go. My daughter spoke to her daughter last night, none of her daughters are speaking t her and I thinnk its killing her although apparently one of their major problems with her is that she has not admitted to doing something wrong nor has she offerred an apology. I don't think she ever imagined I would go to her mother.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738 |
Good job, teaser.  You're doing fantastic with exposure. I wouldn't text OW again though.....just do it and let her sit in darkness wondering whether the onslaught is going to stop! She'll constantly be bugging WH about it, what a great LB. 
Me: BW, 27 Him: WH, 29 DD 4 DS 1 Married 07/25/09 A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner) D-Day: 3/31/10 2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010 3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10 WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10 False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
ok so today I met with OW's in-laws, they were very sympathetic, mother in-law had already been told about the A. I showed them the pics and mails, they stayed with me for a while. They will sit with their son and try to guide him out of the marriage. They did ask me though to maybe restrain myself in terms of the pics, the e mails they don't care aout. Also, I had been hankering to expose the A to OW's sister, well I finall found her e mail and sent that this morning. On another note, can someone please recommend a good sim card reader?
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
Also can you walk into a store and buy a sim card reader? if so what store? radio shack?
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738 |
Radioshack probably has them. Not sure if you have Future Shop in the US, but they definitely do, or Best Buy.
Me: BW, 27 Him: WH, 29 DD 4 DS 1 Married 07/25/09 A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner) D-Day: 3/31/10 2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010 3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10 WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10 False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
well I can safely say that the proverbial [censored] has hit the fan, OW is apparently furious at me for all the people I am exposing the A to, her mother called me and said that I am an evil person for doing what I am doing, her sister tells me that I need help-I don't care, now they all know, they will have to deal with it.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
Yup, you did a good job....Dont listen to anything they say about you, you done good. OW is furious at you...all I have to say is, teeheehee....
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Teaser, you need to go back and read the material. Exposure is not to be used for vindictiveness, it is only to STOP the affair and have others made aware so there can be other eyes watching. If you are exposing out of anger, you're going about this all wrong and it's going to come back and bite you.
Slow down. You speak of your rage and anger a lot but what's going on between you and your (F?)WH? What are you guys doing to restore your marriage? How is your WH handling all your anger and exposing? What are you doing to heal?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879 |
 YA FOR EXPOSURE!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,144
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,144 |
teaser, I've been away for the weekend and just got caught up.
Good that you've exposed, but the princess makes a good point. Exposure is not "justifiable revenge." Its purpose is solely to disrupt the affair.
Has your H gone NC with OW? What's going on between the two of you now?
Me BS 61 Him FWS 63 Married 40 years D-Day 6/30/06 Still can't believe it. 6/08 Recovering nicely. Anything is possible!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
Thank you I actually feel better for having done that, I still have my black periods, but when I think of how angry she is-oh well it just makes my day!!!!
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
I have started individual counselling, its way too soon for marriage counselling. As for WH, we are talking, he is contrite and wants to work on the marriage, I am not sure at this point if thats what I want, the affair went on for too long, it was with a friend, and it was being conducted in my house and in my bed-sorry I am not too concerned at this point about his feelings, I am trying to deal with my outbursts, also taking meds.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
WH and I are in the talking mode, he is being brutally honest as is recommended, however, almost every conversation brings out new info and sets me off all over again, but he is trying his best not to lie(I think). I am still not sure that there is enough left of this marriage to work on. However, it is not a decision that has been definitively made.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390 |
I am so sorry. Having the A conducted in your home makes it really tough. We've had BS's here who have walked in on sexual acts in their own home, and that is really tough. I guess you can be thankful that didn't happen to you, but of course that doesn't make it any less painful. You don't have to decide today. Let this all sink in and take your time. 
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
What is recommended is "radical honesty", NOT "brutal honesty".
I think the term brutal is just a poor choice when in the context of marriage recovery.
There are ways to speak the truth that are kind, not brutal.
: end of nit-picking:
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
Yea,the honesty thing is really playing havoc with my progress best I can say in favor of it is, dump it all on me now so that it is all included in the one recovery process
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 282 |
like the pictures I found last weekend-OW spread eagled in panties on a chair and as I look closer I recognize my kitchen, damn
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
792
guests, and
35
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,619
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682 May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|