You forgot that there have been no cliff hangers in quite some time either.

I know what you mean about planting roots in the shadows. That's not where I want to live either and every time I get sucked in there, I just want to burst out. The thing is, we NEED that place. Just don't get stuck.

BTW, in case you wondered, that "something" that I saw before, it is sadly gone now. Doesn't mean you won't get it back for someone else. Just that we can all see that it is gone for her.

You seem to be holding your own though.

Yes, Scottie, that something is now gone. It was an amazing component of my life. Sure, sometimes I viewed it as a curse. You know, "Why do I STILL love her?" Or, "How can I still have feelings for her given all of the abuse I've taken?" Quite frankly, I reminded myself of Ah-nold in 'Terminator 2'. The bad terminator tries to kill the good terminator by shoving that metal spear through him, but Ah-nold has that hidden energy source in him and he comes back and blasts the bad terminator into the molten iron ore, or whatever that stuff was. That's what I had. No, not a metal spear through me, or the iron ore, for that matter. It was just that amazing, hidden stash of love for her. And yes, it's gone.

Sure, it's sad. She had such an amazing guy, and such a truly special gift -- unfettered love in the face of adversity and betrayal. My loss? Maybe. Her loss? Absolutely. I now have such a better understanding of who I am, and what it takes to be a part of an incredible relationship.

I'm holding my own. Sometimes, I get a little lonely, but I keep busy with activities, and friends. I try to spread myself around amongst my married friends -- you know, so I don't tick off any of the wives. It's requires some balance. One couple has invited me over quite a bit. As a matter of fact, at one point, I actually referred to myself as Dupree (Owen Wilson), from 'You, Me and Dupree'. Thankfully, they considered it an embellishment on my part....

I look forward to experiencing life in new ways. Meet new people. Be a part of a relationship that doesn't involve regular doses of scorn, ridicule, and scrutiny. My enthusiasm for the opportunities that lie ahead of me -- whatever they may be and whenever they present themselves -- grows each day. Sometimes it grows as a result of the venomous diatribes directed at me, but sometimes it's just seeing something that looks fun, and realizing that I can do it if I really want to.

Like I said earlier, she can take my stuff, but she can't take my life. She cannot take the opportunities and the possibilities that lie ahead. She cannot take the hope and the enthusiasm. She cannot demand the dreams and aspirations that I have which will help me to build an even better life than the one I had. All of THESE THINGS are beyond her reach and outside of her distorted sense of legal entitlement.

I know each of us walks through our journey in our own way, and in our own timeframe. I sincerely hope that those that don't get to recover their M find that sense of hope and enthusiasm. Life is just too damn precious to spend pining for the past rather than building for the future. I sure as heck don't know what that future is going to look like, but I'm sure as heck gonna find out.

I guess I had that rant in me, after all. And whatta ya know, I was able to squeeze in a couple movie references. No cliffhangers right now, though. Maybe next time.....

Thanks,
TBC

Hey, I was thinking about how you squeezed in a movie reference in there. I didn't really think of this as a rant though. I totally "get" what you are saying in this last post and I am truly happy you find yourself in that place. You seem so much better. WOW. Your growth in the past couple of months is truly amazing. You give me something to aspire to. Thank you.

Agreed, very inspirational TBC. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Just watched a local morning show and they had a lady making AMAZING and EASY muffins. She has a website. catcancook.com Maybe you will find some useful recipes. We haven't discussed your mad cooking skills in a while

Scottie, you mean "skillz," right?

I find it hilarious and a bit strange that she thought you'd "ended your drought" or whatever she says along those lines.

YES YES. I always forget what you youngins are calling it these days. HEHEHEHEHE

As a friend pointed out to me, it's rather "high-school-ish" -- that ALL of my problems will be solved as a result of that kind of an episode. That my demeanor will be MAGICALLY transformed into "all is good within the universe" due to some bedroom action.....

Those of us in the REAL WORLD know that it will take a lot more than a few romps to offset the pain I will experience when the boys are officially told about the D and the loss of Casa-TBC.....

What an absolutely simplistic, immature, inconsiderate and short-sighted thought on her part. Just wretched, to tell you the truth....

The sad thing is, none of us should be surprised....

TBC

TB(C) - Not that it really matters at this point, trying to dissect her and whatnot, but this could be not so much immature as the vocalization of a fear of hers = her being replaced, you really moving on, etc.

Again, doesn't really matter, just wanted to throw it out there that you matter more to her than her actions show.

Maybe.

I think that something is just broken inside of her and it's very difficult to see anything other than in terms of her.

So TBC moving on does matter to her, but probably in terms of somewhere that SHE failed. She couldn't pull off a marriage.

Agreed. She's probably thinking mostly in terms of what this means to her - either where she failed, or why she couldn't "keep you," etc. Mmmmmmmaaaaaybe realizing she took you for granted, or took your love for granted.

Interesting take, Mrs V. Hadn't really looked at it that way, but you could be on to something there.....

When the waffling was taking place, I could tell she was looking for a response from me. I let her know that I've been pretty focused on the road ahead for me, and that I'm not really sure how to interpret the olive branch, errrrrr, twig. I think it was merely to see what was left of the fence and to verify whether there was any cake left to be had.....

I said a long time ago that she doesn't have the wiring to do enough of the heavy lifting. Well, at least not enough to genuinely pique my interest. Twigs, people, just won't cut it. Not anymore. And certainly not after what she's put me through.....

Think of it this way. When I get her WRATH, it's fast and furious and tumultuous and pronounced. It makes one heck of a grand entrance. When the WAFFLING happens, though, it barely registers on the marital richter scale, it's easy to misinterpret, and it's incognito. And unlike the WRATH, the waffling practically sneaks into the room like a breeze from an open window. Sadly, it can vanish just as quickly.....

The wrath is necessary to propel her forward when logic and common sense have all but abandoned her. Could mean a very bumpy road for TBC going forward. That being said, it will still be GOING FORWARD, and that, my friends, is really where I want to go anyway.....

Thanks,
TBC

Wow TBC...our WW's are more alike then I ever realized. At one point my WW told me that she thought that after I got a girlfriend and got it out of my system that we would get back together... Seriously...she said it. She figured I just need to have an RA and all would be right in the world.

Even typing this out now I still have a hard time believing that she even said it. Crazy wayturds.....

ETA: Now that I think about it that one should probably be added to my 'Craziest stuff to come out of a waywards piehole' thread....

Bone-dry shavings, sparsely scattered, in a tornado, struck by lightning. No wonder you weren't impressed!

tl

This is good TBC and in your world - so true eh? Dont bang yourself on this - her waffling is so subtle - most people would not have perceived it = any time you wanted a clear direction from her - she disappeared into the mist - crazy batchit

Just wanted to stop on by and let folks know that the D-Train is chuggin' right along to D-Ville. I have been notified that the initial filing is now fully baked, out of the Betty Crocker Easy Bake oven, and ready for my immediate consumption. Anybody have any salt and pepper for this thing?

I will be perusing through it in the near future.....

As you can imagine, there's been some ups and downs but my course and destination remain unchanged.

It may be favorable, or it may be a good kick in the groin. And despite the fact that prison inmates have had more conjugal visits than I have during the course of the last year, I would still consider the latter to be an unpleasant experience.....

I am actually doing fine, though. From what I've been able to determine, things are not all roses and rainbows for her and OM, so she seems to be interviewing for prospective replacements. THAT, friends, is a job which is now WAY below my pay grade. And I'd say that after hanging out in these parts for the last year or so, I'm just too overqualified to apply for a position of that stature.

It doesn't bother me, though. I just want to play Switzerland, hang out in my bunker, refrain from exchanging missile fire, and get out with some semblance of a back side.

Haven't been around as much, so I'm not as up to speed on the new folks and new storylines. Been spending a little more time over in D&D -- I wonder if that's kinda like the kids table during Thanksgiving dinner -- but lots of good folks there as well. And if it is, indeed, the kids table, maybe that means we get less brussel sprouts and more dessert.

Who wouldn't want that?

Hope everyone is doing well, or at least stayin' afloat.....

TBC