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Oh where oh where is Karma? These would be great for her blog. She started a blog on the crap waywards spew. Chidiots!
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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If the fog can't be lifted from the exposure, then it will SURELY be DONE in Plan B (after you have a good 6-9 weeks of plan A) We have to be careful about saying something like the above. IMO it gives false hope. I have been in plan b for 9 months now. Yes, WH said all the sentences Saphire reported...however her seems determined to stay a bachelor and keep seeing OW. He might still love me but his actions speak louder than anything else. He has not attemped to contact me at all. Also, I did a nuclear exposure both with families and work including the big boss. All our friends know. The A is still going strong. H acts as if he is entitled to it all and, yes, as if the M was on his death bed anyway ... Lots of plan Bs end up in plan D, therefore saying that the fog will SURE lift in plan B is a lie...sorry but it is. blessing
atena
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How about this one? Has anyone heard this before? I know MY husband heard it... "The perfect situation would be, me live here with you, and OM live across the street!" Yup, he told me I said this a couple times. 1. When you are doing an awesome plan A your WS does not want you out of the pix, that is why Plan A is so important, because they are getting needs from you and from the OW or OM. So for me saying this, makes me believe that plan A WORKS!! That is why I mentioned "if exposure doesn't lift the fog, SURELY plan B WILL!!" Because once you take yourself out of meeting his or her's EN's, they will start becoming, home sick, missing you, remembering all the good memories, and eventually crawl back  I knew a guy who was able to talk his BW into letting OW move in with them. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I knew a guy who was able to talk his BW into letting OW move in with them. When I need a giggle I cruise the OW forum... there's a woman on there who is LIVING with the BS and WH. Apparently the BS is a good 'friend' of hers. The BS apparently doesn't know and the OW is convinced she is 'helping' their marriage..... yeah, she's a saint.... 
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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If the fog can't be lifted from the exposure, then it will SURELY be DONE in Plan B (after you have a good 6-9 weeks of plan A) We have to be careful about saying something like the above. IMO it gives false hope. I have been in plan b for 9 months now. Yes, WH said all the sentences Saphire reported...however her seems determined to stay a bachelor and keep seeing OW. He might still love me but his actions speak louder than anything else. He has not attemped to contact me at all. Also, I did a nuclear exposure both with families and work including the big boss. All our friends know. The A is still going strong. H acts as if he is entitled to it all and, yes, as if the M was on his death bed anyway ... Lots of plan Bs end up in plan D, therefore saying that the fog will SURE lift in plan B is a lie...sorry but it is. blessing Sorry that you have been in plan B for 9 MONTHS!! You are right some people end up plan D after plan B, and I feel really really SORRY for those who end up in Plan D, because that WS will NEVER be happy ever again 
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How about this one? Has anyone heard this before? I know MY husband heard it... "The perfect situation would be, me live here with you, and OM live across the street!" Yup, he told me I said this a couple times. 1. When you are doing an awesome plan A your WS does not want you out of the pix, that is why Plan A is so important, because they are getting needs from you and from the OW or OM. So for me saying this, makes me believe that plan A WORKS!! That is why I mentioned "if exposure doesn't lift the fog, SURELY plan B WILL!!" Because once you take yourself out of meeting his or her's EN's, they will start becoming, home sick, missing you, remembering all the good memories, and eventually crawl back I knew a guy who was able to talk his BW into letting OW move in with them. I heard that before! I was SHOCKED! What was he ever thinking??
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How about this one? Has anyone heard this before? I know MY husband heard it... "The perfect situation would be, me live here with you, and OM live across the street!" Yup, he told me I said this a couple times. 1. When you are doing an awesome plan A your WS does not want you out of the pix, that is why Plan A is so important, because they are getting needs from you and from the OW or OM. So for me saying this, makes me believe that plan A WORKS!! That is why I mentioned "if exposure doesn't lift the fog, SURELY plan B WILL!!" Because once you take yourself out of meeting his or her's EN's, they will start becoming, home sick, missing you, remembering all the good memories, and eventually crawl back I knew a guy who was able to talk his BW into letting OW move in with them. I heard that before! I was SHOCKED! What was he ever thinking?? What was his BW thinking????!?!?!
Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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You are right some people end up plan D after plan B, and I feel really really SORRY for those who end up in Plan D, because that WS will NEVER be happy ever again Sapphire, I know you are a FWS, but how can you say that a WS will never be happy again if they go into plan D? It is their choice after all if they pick the OW!!! They must see some value into it! I guess after 9 months of plan B I can pretty much say that my H is in a permanent fog AKA permafog! blessing
atena
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Waywards lie, distort and twist the truth in order to avoid the consequences of their adulterous choices.
Most waywards say and do whatever it takes in an attempt to look innocent while engaging in these adulterous choices.
Waywards are mean, cruel, abusive, evil creatures!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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A lot of people you interact during the day might be wayward and yet you do not know it. They might be very nice and seem to be trustworthy.
What I am saying here is that WS are people and as such are part of our society. We interact everyday with them at work etc..We might not know a person is wayward because he/she is a a regular person who has this huge flaw.WS are able to have a regular normal life like all the rest and blend in pretty well with the insanity of our day and age.
blessing
atena
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Atena - Plan B is supposed to last for about 2 years. You are only 9 months in. Just don't give up yet. Sometimes the fog takes longer than usual to lift.
Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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yeah. this is my H's second A (that I know of) I think he made it a lifestyle to have A when the going gets rough in the M. He has a huge sense of entitlement.
He is the kind that needs to have an epiphany in order to come out right. He is a difficult case and only if he reaches rock bottom will he ever be M material again...
he also comes from a family of waywards: both parents and 3 of his 4 syblings are wayward (not to mention uncles and cousins!) It runs in the family!
blessing
atena
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We have to be careful about saying something like the above. IMO it gives false hope. I have been in plan b for 9 months now. Yes, WH said all the sentences Saphire reported...however her seems determined to stay a bachelor and keep seeing OW. He might still love me but his actions speak louder than anything else. He has not attemped to contact me at all.
Also, I did a nuclear exposure both with families and work including the big boss. All our friends know. The A is still going strong. H acts as if he is entitled to it all and, yes, as if the M was on his death bed anyway ...
Lots of plan Bs end up in plan D, therefore saying that the fog will SURE lift in plan B is a lie...sorry but it is.
blessing ITA aetna. Like i said before this thread is more for (F) WS. WSs actions do speak louder than words. IMHO They do not even begin to believe anything good about their BS until the A has ended and they have pulled their head out of their nether region. Up to that point i think they believe their lies as well and they do not have any of the thoughts that SR is posting about. Sorry but that is my opinion. When a WS is in their A they do not care about anyone or anything except for themselves, i don't think they even really care for their OPs except for the fact they are serving a purpose of helping them to think about themselves some more.
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You are right some people end up plan D after plan B, and I feel really really SORRY for those who end up in Plan D, because that WS will NEVER be happy ever again Sapphire, I know you are a FWS, but how can you say that a WS will never be happy again if they go into plan D? It is their choice after all if they pick the OW!!! They must see some value into it! I guess after 9 months of plan B I can pretty much say that my H is in a permanent fog AKA permafog! blessing Because the WS doesn't learn ANYTHING, and never will, (therefore will never leave his fog) everyone has issues, if you don't fix it in THIS marriage then all you are doing is bringing it with you to the NEXT relationship, no matter what it is. That is why when people marry, divorce, marry again, and DIVORCE once again. I don't know about you, but people like that are not happy Therefore I say that people like that, who doesn't want to learn from their mistakes usually end up in the long run not happy, 80% of people who D end up regretting it.
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Up to that point i think they believe their lies as well and they do not have any of the thoughts that SR is posting about. Sorry but that is my opinion. That is why I always say "WS are the best lyers because they do the biggest lie, and that is...they LIE TO THEMSELVES" When the fog lifted for me, I still remembered how I felt, and what I said and did to my DH, and when I came on here and started to read some similar posts I thought..."OMG, I said the exact thing, this is what I was thinking at the time while I was saying those things, and doing those things." It's just another lie to justify what they do, not saying you have to agree because by all means I would love it if more FWS cam on here and gave their own opinions. TY again
Last edited by SapphireReturns; 06/11/10 06:42 PM.
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Up to that point i think they believe their lies as well and they do not have any of the thoughts that SR is posting about. Sorry but that is my opinion. That is why I always say "BS are the best lyers because they do the biggest lie, and that is...they LIE TO THEMSELVES" I do not believe that i am lying to myself and i certainly did not tell lies to purposefully hurt my spouse therefore i do not really really know what i may have been thinking instead. I am not now nor have ever been a WS so I could be wrong, but as I said it is my opinion as a BS.
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I edited it..sorry meant to say WS not BS LOL
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Updated it with that line.... Glad to know people are still reading it.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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If the fog can't be lifted from the exposure, then it will SURELY be DONE in Plan B (after you have a good 6-9 weeks of plan A) We have to be careful about saying something like the above. IMO it gives false hope. I have been in plan b for 9 months now. Yes, WH said all the sentences Saphire reported...however her seems determined to stay a bachelor and keep seeing OW. He might still love me but his actions speak louder than anything else. He has not attemped to contact me at all. Also, I did a nuclear exposure both with families and work including the big boss. All our friends know. The A is still going strong. H acts as if he is entitled to it all and, yes, as if the M was on his death bed anyway ... Lots of plan Bs end up in plan D, therefore saying that the fog will SURE lift in plan B is a lie...sorry but it is. blessing ITA, when I first found this site; I believed that all would be OK with plan A. When that didn't happen and I went to plan B; I thought this is when it will surely end the A. I have now been in plan B for 2.5 months. The A has not ended; OW H and I believe that it is showing some cracks, but it has NOT ENDED. I only get limited information, since I am in a dark plan B. But WH's attempts at contact get less and less and farther and farther apart. So back to my original thought, it is very easy for the BS to get a false sense of hope. I did.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Yes, BS' have to remember Plan B does NOT always break up the affair...and is not its main purpose, Its to keep BS from the drama of the affair, for the BS to better themselves and prepare for a life without WS.
Sometimes it will put pressure on the affair, but lots of times the A still rages on...But if you do a good Plan B you are in a better place than you would have been if you didnt do one...Personal recovery.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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