How did the affair start and what is he doing differently now? Obviously he was flirting with females and having personal conversations with them. What is he now doing differently? What is HIS PLAN to affair proof your marriage when he out working? I would ask him this. What are his new boundaries?

you said that the last time he cheated on you was 14 years ago. Since my WH is also on his 2nd A I see it this way. The 2 A they had are the 2 we were able to find out. I am sure they had more than just 2,they simply got away with them as we never found out.
Your WH could very well have all the best intentions in the world and he probably does. HOwever, till he sets firm boudaries he will always be tempted to cheat. Just like a drug addict will always be tempted by the drug.
He needs to show you he is working on setting those boundaries.
THe MB principles help with this. Is he willing to follow them?
Blessing

Apparantly the POSOW was very aggresive, per my WH. WH said she persued him at first and he replied 'I am married'. Obviously that statement didn't matter to either one of them cause they exchanged cell #'s. The A went on from there. First, and foremost he got a new wedding ring. He lost his about 16 yrs. ago and now was very excited to get a new one, however, I know in my heart it doesn't matter that he wears one or not, but I do like the fact that he does seem to enjoy wearing it. Women flirt with him, also. I asked him what are you going to say if someone starts flirting with you? I can't remember his reply, but i told him to say 'I am married to a wonderful woman for 18 yrs now with 3 beautiful kids, would you like to see pictures?' Atena that is precisly what I am afraid of. Did he really only have just two or am I really that foolish? We are following MB priciples and he is more than happy to do anything for me. Atena, how is everything working for you, since you are where I am?

Well, things are not working for me as my WH and I are now separated. He is still seeing OW and I am on plan B, but I do not seem to be able to not investigate about him and this keeps me stuck. I have not spoken to him since October 2009. My WH had no intention of ending his 2nd A which went on secretly for a year and half.
From what you are telling me it seems as if your H has hit bottom somehow and has decided to change. He must be good looking if he gets lots of attention from women, but at the end all it counts is what he tells them.
You are telling me he is willing to follow the MB principles and that is a very good sign. I will make sure that he does at all times and does not slack off after the M has settled back into a routine (which will happen if you do not stick to the MB principle pretty much for the rest of your M).
It is hard work, but it is worth it, you have 3 kids and your H seems eager to work on the M.
blessing

Atena, so sorry to hear about your sitch. Sometimes I feel a little guilty posting my problems when others are going through such a difficult time. Yes, it is very hard to not settle back into our old marriage routine. When it seems like that might be happening I get super upset. It has happened two times, a couple weeks ago when we did not go out on Sat. nite(our daughter was home from college that weekend so we spent it as a family) and another time we did not have SF for 2 days, and it really terrified me! Sounds silly, but I cannot stand to live like this sometimes. Just a little slack and I get scared to death. You see, my WH had a 2 yr A, how could I not have known? The only really signs were hiding his cell and not much SF. I'm talkng 3x a year and when we would try to SF my WH would get ED!! I felt so bad for him. Now I know it was probably guilt of his A. Again, Atena, I am sorry about your sitch. I do sometimes think how it would be if I could D WH. That would be a tricky situation for me, but that's a whole other story!