Well finally got my answer.

I asked the WW today if she had made her decision. She said she had.

She is moving out of the house permanently. She wants a divorve.

I know what i do by the plan. I followed it.

I asked her if moving out of teh house is going to make her happy. She said she didnt know. Just what we are doing sint working for her. I asked her why she was giving up on DD5. I asked her if i just wasnt worth it.

She got really pissed when I brought up DD5. She told me she loved me but she jsut isnt happy doing this anymore. I told her i would being going for primary custody for DD5 so she didnt take her to europe. She got really pissed then. Thats pretty much when the conversation ended.

Im in my room crying now. Misrable. I feel uterally and completely unlovable and worthless.

I dont know WTF to do. I love her but I honestly dont want to fight a divorce. I should just say screw it and go PB, let the D train ride unless she pulls the emergency brake. Im really sad but not totally out of it.

I just feel stupid for even trying. I cant believe I had flowers for her all set up for our anniversary. Im 90% sure she only was going to make me happy one last time. Then drop the bomb on me afterwards.

I gave FIL a call heim sure is talking to her now. Who cares though. She is gone already. Hope she is nice and happy in her new life.

i on the other hand am misrable. What made me sucha terrible person that I not only get cheated on by the woman I loved more than anything in the world but then to not even geta chance to make it up.

At least I will ahve the comfort to know im going to leave her in squaller. She isnt going to get a dime from me. Maybe she will move out this weekend. Then i wont have to see her anymore. At least the limbo is over. She can go now and be nice and misrable and join the ranks of the pathetic.

ALl I know is at least for this moment I am done fighting it.

Very sorry for you, YEG.

You have a choice to make now. Do YOU still want to fight for this marriage?? If yes, then let her move out, go to a very dark plan B, and delay the divorce proceedings the best you can.

If your answer is "no", you are done fighting for it, then you need to reach deep into your heart and flip a switch. It should become all business at that point and do what you need to to take the best care of yourself and DD5. Don't do anything out of spite, that won't help your case and won't be in the best interest of DD5. But do a ton of research, take ownership of your case, and be prepared!

YEG:


I know you feel awful, but in the long run this is best for you.

This is better than spending 5-10 years chasing a marriage that will never amount to anything and wondering if she is still seeing someone else.

Look at it from this point of view:

Short term acute pain is better than long term pain with no good results at the end of the struggle.


You are a young man with your entire life ahead of you. This is extremely painful, but in the end you will be fine.

This is not about you! Do you realize she would have cheated to whomever she married. This has nothing to do with you.

You are also in the throes of the bonding that develops after D-day. This is a normal physiologic response probably related to sperm wars and it will pass.

Make sure you go NC with her. Healing is always faster after hermetic NC.

God Bless

I know. Im not going to do anything rashly. If im going to PB im going to wait till she is gone. That way I have the house.

The divorce papers happen when they happen. I wont speed them up.

My only decision is if I want to try to fight.

I honestly dont know what to do yet and Im going to think about it a few days.

Sorry for your pain, man. Look at the bright side. Now you'll probably be at least the custodial parent. After a year of separating from this awful person, you'll be much happier. Think of this as a get out of jail free card. She wasn't going to be a decent human being until she hit rock bottom. This will allow you to go to plan B AND get your custody and finances set. Who knows, after several months of plan B, she might realize she needs to change and will actually do it. Either way, you will never have to put up with her crap again.

That's the beauty of plan B. You don't have to try to fight anymore. You just have to ignore her. The ball is in her court, and SHE will have to do the heavy lifting if she wants to come back. You've already done all the work you need to do. It's her turn.

I'm so sorry.
Plan BBBBBBBBBBB

The worse part is the sense of uselessness I feel. The house is so empty. she is gone with her dad now. Guess he is talking to her.

I just want her to pull off the damn bandaid and be done. Just leave if your going to leave. Get your [censored] packed and go. Then i can go PB and rebuild whats left of my life and she can start a new one.

I just feel so misrable. I am not a bad man. I took care of her for years. Where is my thanks? Ohh wait I get cheated on and treated like dog poo. Thanks alot. I see guys treat their women like crap and they deal with it. I treat her to anything she wanted and I get cheated on and left not because im not worth the trouble.

Just get out of my life WW. Let me be. Im a good person. I dont deserve this. Just stop sucking my soul away. I think the only thing she studied was how to hurt me the most. So far she has that down. Only thing she didnt do was throw salt on my wounds and grind dirt in my eye.

Damn her!

maybe. Then she comes back and does the same crap. Im just so punch drunk. Im such a fool.

I cant believe she let me spend all of those hours in preparing for a wonderful anniversary just to boot me away. It made me so happy thinking about her running around the town with me.

Writing my PB letter out now. And yes im leaving out the support part.

Post a copy of plan B letter.

Remember, this was a woman that cheated on her fiancee, slept with a married man, and then cheated for 2 years on her husband with her ex-fiancee. I'd say you'd be a hell of a lot better off without her. Heck, you probably have no idea how good a relationship with a woman can be. You've been accepting crap for years and thought it was just typical. Nope, there are women out there that are a million times better.

Now I shouldn't put the cart before the horse because you are still going to plan B, but listen, either way you wind up a winner. You either rebuild a marriage with your WW once she's broken and agrees to your PBL conditions, or you get out of an awful marriage. Either way, you will win. It's going to suck for a while, but once you get about 6 months of NC w/ her, you'll feel much better than before you ever found out about her affair.

This bears repeating. It isn't you YEG. It is her. She is not wife material and she clearly has no desire to be.

I'm sorry though. I feel your pain. I promise it does get easier.

We won't let you settle for that. You don't deserve to ever face that again in your life.

Dear WW,

It pains me to have to write this. It is truly sad what has happened to us and our marriage. The direction that I must go now is not one of choice but of necessity. I have made many mistakes in the past and cannot change those. What I have been able to do is recognize the error of my ways and have learned from those so I can prevent them in the future. The past 2 months have been the most difficult time of my life. The pain and emptiness that I endure on a daily basis is almost unbearable. I must now take action to prevent losing my felings for you.

I feel I must break off all contact with you. I will avoid seeing you or talking to you or communicating with you in any way. I will arrage a time for you to remove your things from our house. Your father has agreed to acta as am intermediary for us. He may call me to arrange a time so I can not be present for you to get your things.Also any message can be exchanged through him.

I will also add you to my health insurance on monday but I ask you reimburse me. I will continue to pay the car insurance but you will need to reimburs me for that as well. As for the cell phone you may either stay on our shared plan and reimburse me for half the bill or seek your own plan elsewhere.

I ask that you respect my decision to separate from you in this way. You must know torturous pain and suffering I have endured because of your relationship with <OM> . I will be willing to discuss our future together as soon as you are willing to construct a plan to ensure a total separation from OM and recommitting to the M. Until that time I will continue to pray for our marriage and DD5.

Your loving H
BH

YEG, this wife that you envisioned a romantic anniversary dinner with does not exist in your WW. She is an ideal. You're on the right track about what a good marriage should like-- and it's frustrating and hurtful to you when trying to reconcile that with a selfish WW.

The WW you've been living with doesn't have it in her. I firmly believe that with a good and dark Plan B, you will come to realize that you ARE a keeper and worth a lot more than what you've been shown and led to believe by this WW who poses as your wife.

(((YEG)))

I honestly DONT know what its like to be in a caring relationship. Im kinda curious though I admit. Im sad but its relieving in a way I admit.

Gonna call a locksmith tonite see if I can arrange for him to come out tommorow. Ill give her till the end of the night before I deliver the PB letter. That way i can warn FIL whats coming. My mom has DD5. She will end up watching her tonite for me.

It changes with the minute but atm I really dont feel like fighting for her anymore. If she comes back before the D fine. If not thats fine too. Im just tired of being hurt by her.

She doesnt know what she is losing. She is about to find out though. She has no plan. No job. No idea. She just wants to be happy. Her plan is to move into her Grand mas old house. how she is going to handle the bills no idea.

Sucks too. I bought a bunch of calligraphy stuff to make hand made cards for her. Ended up using one of the envelopes I bought for her for the Plan b letter.