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You know, Tom, this time it's you that brought up the subject of the outside friend. That makes me think it's a question that you want to explore and think about more. You commented earlier that it was settled, but perhaps you noticed that you didn't persuade even a single one of the thirty-some-odd people posting to you, and maybe that is leading you to think that you should rethink this subject? Actually what brought it to the forefront of my mind is that I have talked to my friend a couple of times this week. We were setting up a get together for our grade team for tomorrow.
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As you have talked with her recently, and are going to be meeting with her this week, what protections and limits on your behavior have you put into place to ensure that you are safe from inappropriate discussions, feelings or thoughts arising, now and for the future?
What is your plan to protect your marriage from the danger this woman poses as a close, female friend?
Last edited by Vibrissa; 07/14/10 10:38 AM.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Well, we are not meeting alone. There will be 4 of us since there are 4 people on my grade team.
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Tom, it seems you like PLAYING us here on MB. A little cat and mouse game. We dont have time to waste on your games. I am sorry to say.
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What cat and mouse game are you talking about. My last two posts I was answering Markos's question and then Vibrissa's question.
What playing are you talking about?
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Well, we are not meeting alone. There will be 4 of us since there are 4 people on my grade team. And your spouses are invited to join you, right?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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I believe that all of the spouses have to work, so no. It is a group event, not sure why that would be a problem.
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It's socializing with members of the opposite sex without your spouse, that's why. Add in the level of intimate conversation you have with this woman, and you are in the danger zone, my friend.
I'm sure the two of you will linger after the others have gone...and you'll talk about these nutters on MB and how they think your friendship is dangerous to your marriage...and you'll laugh...
Your W works part-time...why not schedule your social outing when she is available?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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"Spouses are not invited" is a whole 'nother ballgame from "The spouses will not be able to join us, although we'd love to have them there."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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No, I do not expect anyone to be lingering afterwards to talk. We are all getting together as a group of friends and coworkers.
I also did not set up the time or day, just doing it when we can. One of them does work during the summer so I think it was set up around her schedule.
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"Spouses are not invited" is a whole 'nother ballgame from "The spouses will not be able to join us, although we'd love to have them there." I was basically saying no to the idea that spouses just wont be there. Its not that they are not invited, we have done plenty of things as an entire group with our spouses. then we have times where we get together just us.
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I believe that all of the spouses have to work, so no. I thought your wife was unemployed.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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No, I do not expect anyone to be lingering afterwards to talk. We are all getting together as a group of friends and coworkers.
I also did not set up the time or day, just doing it when we can. One of them does work during the summer so I think it was set up around her schedule. Why is this even necessary? I don't remember my mother, a teacher, doing anything like this in the summers.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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She has been working part time at a bookstore.
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Necessary-No. We might discuss work some, but we are friends and want to. We get together every summer once or twice.
Maybe your mom did not like the people she worked with.
Last edited by TomOlympus; 07/14/10 12:35 PM. Reason: added
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Necessary-No. We might discuss work some, but we are friends and want to. We get together every summer once or twice.
Maybe your mom did not like the people she worked with. I see. It's purely a social gettogether, not a work meeting. Does your wife understand that the gettogether is purely social and not a meeting?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Necessary-No. We might discuss work some, but we are friends and want to. We get together every summer once or twice.
Maybe your mom did not like the people she worked with. I see. The problem was my mother. That would explain a lot. Thanks, Tom.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Yes she does. She knows all of the people involved. As I have said we have many times, during the summer and during the school year gotten together all of our families, but at the same time we get together just the 4 of us. All of our spouses know this.
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Tom, this thread is probably not exactly like your situation, but there are some similarities, and I think you'd benefit from giving it a look: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=160078&Number=2367392#Post2367392
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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AMEN, Markos, I hadn't seen that. We've seen a drastically HUGE improvement in our M since my H took this new job. No more of that TEAM-BUILDING, spouses-are-evil BS to deal with! Yeah!
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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