Yes, I am exposing tonight, completely and totally. Ready? Not sure. I swing from looking forward to it to dreading it. I have my list of people and will start making the calls now. Not sure what to expect from her but this is it.

you need to expose now, why tonight?

You do not give mouth to mouth to a person who you know has been dead for hours/days.

YOU DO IT NOW!!!

Too right on the emotions to be a troll. TL, don�t let the troll talk discourage you. You�re so dead on on how to handle things that it is incredulous to some of us who are use to dealing with BH�s who waffle, whine, and are gripped by fear of the WW�s anger.

Her making out with this guy in front of a house she�s allegedly showing is wreckless, but since when is an addict logical? She could have easily shown the home, had OM meet her after the people she showed it to left, and then had her tryst.

TL is reacting like a man who has been betrayed before. He�s been through this once and has his head about him as a man who won�t be shocked like he was before. I would follow this plan if it ever happened to me again.

It would likewise be as devastating as it is to TL.

TL, don�t even address the troll accusations anymore. Roll with it. The accusations are an indirect complement since you are reacting as a BH should versus what we�re use to seeing around here, and I was one of those weepy whiny guys.

Hi ti,

Just looking in here cause felt like sending a post to another member. Please calm down a little. I am not a veteran or long-term member here, but would like to offer my opinion for what is worth.

I agree with Vibrissa - I think including a visit to the card game is a little too much. I think you will have your hands full this evening simply exposing to people on your primary list, including OMW and her reality boss. Just get that primary exposure done first. If I were you I would try not to run the risk of in person exposure this evening in what could become an emotionally-charged situation. If you feel you need to then do it by phone or email.

The other thing I would not do is take off. I know you feel the need to recharge and get your head clear, but I feel that leaving your wife alone soon after the exposure could backfire. I am not sure about changing the locks while you were gone, but you do not know how she will recact or feel at this point. At very least it may give her time to contact or even see OM in your absence to regroup and strategize. On other hand she could interpret that as you abondoning or wanting out. If you need time alone then please just take short walks or bike rides. And if you are not including your kids in the exposure at this time, leaving her alone for even a couple of days will give her time to spin her 'story' to them.

Regards and prayers,

Tom

We can tell you what to expect from her, RAGE. ANGER.

You will hear things like, "I was going to try to recover with you but now YOU ended it. How could you? I can never trust you again."

She will be angry. The more effective your exposure, the angrier she gets. THAT is what to expect. BUT we are still telling you that it is the right thing to do.

When you WW asks you why you did it, "How could YOU?" You simply reply, "I will do whatever I have to to save our marriage, want a cookie?"

tlc, I seriously doubt she is going to be at a card game anyway. That sounds like a ruse to go see the OM. Even so, if you just expose in the order I gave, the word will get back to her and the OM quick enough.

And I am begging you: DO NOT LEAVE TOWN. You cannot afford to leave town. I hope you have scrapped that plan. Your boys need you the most NOW. If you leave town you may return to find the locks changed and your clothes in boxes in the garage.

If he is beginning the exposure right now (as he said) - there is NO chance she goes to the card game... so no need to worry over that one.

tl,

exposure doesn't mean confront her then confront others. It mean tell everyone and their dogs cousins AND THEN confront her BEFORE SHE SPINS IT!

Who's on your list T?

Listen, I'm betting she's going to the card game. It's a weekly or monthly thing with her girls. Besides, OM and his BW are off work. He seems like he is content to screw around with your WW while his wife is off to work. He gets off work, your WW is free to come and go. It's perfect. He doesn't have to worry about getting caught as long as his BW is at work. Then he stays at home the rest of the night and just texts or IMs. He's living the double life. I'd check up on her to see where she was, but I'm betting this is actually one truth in a sea of lies.

As for exposing at the card game, I would get all your exposing done, and then call her back from the card game. When she leaves, I would call her friends and let them know what she has been up to. When she gets home, she's going to flip.

Remember, if you go into it KNOWING she's going to flip her lid, then you can't let it get to you that bad. After all, you are expecting this response. It's typical. She's going to be FURIOUS for a good 2-3 weeks. Remember to keep your voice recorder around to refute any false abuse claims. Once she is no longer in contact w/ OM, you'll see her attitude start to change around the 2 month mark.

OMW, his employers, hers (and mention had sex in his spare room, and poss. that she might be using 4sale homes, as you caught them coming out of one and kissing, and he is not looking for a home). Cheif, her dad, her b-i-l, kids, her friends, your friends and top it off with her dad.

good luck

Did you get OMW's phone number?

Call her.
Give OMW your wife's cell phone number.

Tell OMW to call your wife whenever she wants.

Woman to woman.

jim,

good call, I agree.

themud,

Well whether or not this is true I always feel it is best to give the benefit of doubt. The truth will evolve eventually.

TI,

one afterthought I had. Did you have your cell phone camera with you, and did you get a pict with zoom? That would have helped immensely in exposing to her realty boss and the fire dept. commander. If not, then maybe think of being more prepared to gather evidence if you need to monitor her again.

Good luck,

Tom

There is a lot going on so I am afraid you might get confused. Please print the above, or write it down and follow it. This way you don't get off track.

In case there is any confusion ~ the part where you were being advised about confronting your WW FIRST was to hopefully get her to admit it. No need for that now since you have your irrefutable proof. So, again, ignore that now and follow the above.

Can you confirm that you are following the above exposure plan? Hang in there.

after exposure confront, then give W OMW's #, tell W to call OMW anytime to find out about past A on POSOM.

Painful

do dat!

And....

Give OMW your wife's REAL ESTATE OFFICE phone # .... So OMW can also call there.

That is NUCLEAR .... when OMW is on their butts!

it's nuculear, haven't you been listing to "W"?

Exposure...