Again I appreciate the support.

I didn't realise I was in Plan B until I was out of the house and I came looking for advice on dealing with the affair. I always said an affair was a dealbreaker. To my credit I stuck around for a week after he told me but then he lied about having no contact with her. Then he told me he wanted a divorce.

I never really wanted to leave him but I had to follow through whatever that meant. Going to divorce court to file was easily the hardest day of my life, even harder than the day he told me. Since then the only contact I really had was in court and regarding visitation. When he decided he wanted to come back to me he pestered me for well over a week before I agreed to talk to him. In his words, "he had to hit rock bottom," in order to realise what he had done and rock bottom was losing his family for real with attornies and everything..

I think for me the thought of my ten month old son growing up between two households was a major factor in my decision to try again. Also I still love the schmuck and I do believe he loves me too. Intellectually I know why the affair happened, though I am not making excuses for his behavior - he chose to deal with our marriage problems in the worst possible way.

All her stuff will be out of my house tomorrow morning and then I am going over to the house for the afternoon for a test run to see how I feel about being there. My plan right now is to stay in the nursery on a spare bed initially. We are going to see a lawyer next week to draw up a post nuptial agreement, we are getting new phones tomorrow and he has set up both individual and couples therapy for next week.

My next immediate challenge is dealing with being in the house - my house - where they have been shacked up together for the last month and for the three months I was in England. I am bracing myself for an emotional rollercoaster.