W and I agree that I can stay with the kids during the ceremony and I can bring them to the reception. We are both happy with this arrangement. Thanks for all the help. I read what you all write meticulously.

I've also been reading some other peoples' stories, which has been helpful.

Just finished Anniversary trip with W. It felt strange at times, but was good for us. Anniversary day was difficult. Still struggling with the sleeplessness. The night my W told me about the A I was in bed, half asleep and she came home and dropped the bomb on me. Now, lying in my bed awake at night has become a trigger to this awful memory for me. I keep reliving that moment. Often I will fall asleep and wake up about 15 minutes into my slumber in a panic. The adrenaline alone, will keep me up another hour or two, not to mention how my mind starts swirling with thoughts and ideas. I've tried sleeping on the couch, but that only brings back other bad memories. I suppose time will help, but not sure what else to do. Today was the best day I have had since finding out about the A, yet still night falls and I fall apart. I have tried praying in these moments and listening to music to help keep my mind on other things, but so far, no luck. I don't expect anyone to have a magic fix, but let me know if you do have any ideas.

W and I are working very hard on rebuilding our M. I am much more hopeful than I was a few weeks ago. Coming back from our trip and dealing with everyday life is scary for me. I don't want to let all of our life stresses to come between us like they did before.

Life stressors are a constant.
When one fades into the background, two more pop up in the foreground.

When a married couple approaches life's stressors as a team ... the bond between husband/wife hardens/strengthens.

This, we call ...
POJA