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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10 |
Thank you all for the responses and especially GloveOil from the WS perspective and for some hope.
I did spend some time trying to locate the name of OW H but not got it yet. I do not know how to do this type of snooping without leaving a trail myself.
I want to be strong for myself and my DDs.
Me- BS 40, WH 41
DD1 is 11, DD2 is 9
Married 16 1/2 yrs, together 18 1/2, first marriage for both
WS met AP through work relationship
A lasted at least 6 months (11/09-4/10), at first was EA online, PA limited, back to EA after 'ended' it; most recent contact 'because of work' 7/10, that I am aware of
A was revealed by H
Not yet ordered or read book; Have read "Not Just Friends"
looking for hope, peace, patience and openess
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533 |
One of the easiest way to find OWH is by getting a Private Investigator. Another is by using facebook. Some people have gone to the house when they know OW is not there and rang the doorbell. Some try to call the house phone when they know OW is not there.
It is very important not to let OW intercept any messages to the OWH. She will most likely discard them, and use them as proof you are crazy. You have to contact OWH directly to ensure that the full message gets to him. He may or may not care, but it is still needed.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 10 |
I am in another state from OW so can't drop by. I looked into FB but what is on her page (without being her friend) doesn't include the info about her H and her friends didn't include someone with his first name that made sense as her possible H (they don't share a surname so I am still trying to dig it up). H is no longer a friend from his own page (unless there is a fake page somewhere).
I asked someone with an account to look up on Spokeo but that didn't get me anywhere on his name either. I haven't done the PI yet because of the cost and being found out by my H. Are there other ideas that are not as easily traced (as in I have to sign up for a service or use a credit card).
Me- BS 40, WH 41
DD1 is 11, DD2 is 9
Married 16 1/2 yrs, together 18 1/2, first marriage for both
WS met AP through work relationship
A lasted at least 6 months (11/09-4/10), at first was EA online, PA limited, back to EA after 'ended' it; most recent contact 'because of work' 7/10, that I am aware of
A was revealed by H
Not yet ordered or read book; Have read "Not Just Friends"
looking for hope, peace, patience and openess
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222 |
I am in another state from OW so can't drop by. I looked into FB but what is on her page (without being her friend) doesn't include the info about her H and her friends didn't include someone with his first name that made sense as her possible H (they don't share a surname so I am still trying to dig it up). H is no longer a friend from his own page (unless there is a fake page somewhere).
I asked someone with an account to look up on Spokeo but that didn't get me anywhere on his name either. I haven't done the PI yet because of the cost and being found out by my H. Are there other ideas that are not as easily traced (as in I have to sign up for a service or use a credit card). Now_what got a PI to dig up info on OM for $55. It's not that expensive.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Thank you all for the responses and especially GloveOil from the WS perspective and for some hope.
I did spend some time trying to locate the name of OW H but not got it yet. I do not know how to do this type of snooping without leaving a trail myself.
I want to be strong for myself and my DDs. Did you try information? Whitepages.com You might be able to get his name from intelius.com or peoplefinder.com. Its really not that hard. If you have her home phone# you can just call and ask for Mr SoandSo. [disguise your # using *67 so your name doesn't show up on the caller ID]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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