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Last year I discovered my husband was involved w/a woman who works with him. He says it wasn't physical, not sure about that but he assured me he'd stop talking to her. A while later I found out that he had not and now months down the road their relationship is still friendly. I can't seem to get past this because he sees and talks to her every day. I'm very insecure even though he has changed toward me. Sometimes it overwhelms me to the point of panic attacks and almost constant anxiety. He's offended and thinks I'm making a big deal over nothing. He says he can't change the work situation and can't find another job because of economy.
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Start snooping, check his email, phone, text, etc I bet you that you will find a whole lot more about this affair then he is telling you, I bet you that is is physical. I am sorry you are here but this is the best place for you trust me! Read everything on this thread.... http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2370240#Post2370240Once you have your evidence that your husband is having an affair you need to EXPOSE to people that will have the best influence to kill the Affair.... Co-workers Family Friends Neighbors Other woman's family/husband etc..
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Last year I discovered my husband was involved w/a woman who works with him. He says it wasn't physical, not sure about that but he assured me he'd stop talking to her. A while later I found out that he had not and now months down the road their relationship is still friendly. I can't seem to get past this because he sees and talks to her every day. I'm very insecure even though he has changed toward me. Sometimes it overwhelms me to the point of panic attacks and almost constant anxiety. He's offended and thinks I'm making a big deal over nothing. He says he can't change the work situation and can't find another job because of economy. Of course you can't get "past it". It's not over. If it were over, he'd have established no contact w/ her. Affairs are very addicting. Therefore no contact must be established. And yes, that means he must quit his job. what has happened is that once you found out about their affair, they simply took it further underground so that you could not see that it was still on going. Sometimes it overwhelms me to the point of panic attacks and almost constant anxiety. Women have had nervous break downs b/c their WH have had affairs. Can you tell us more about yourself? How long have you been married? Do you have children? If so, how old? How old are you and your spouse? Is the OW married?
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Joined: Feb 2010
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How old are you? How old is your WS(wayward spouse)?
Do you have any children? How old are they?
How long have you been married? Is this the first marriage for both of you?
How did your WS meet their AP?
How long did the A last?
How did you find out about the A?
Have you ordered the book Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley? Have you read it? fifties answers: Me:52 WS:55
3 children, 16,12,9
21 yrs, yes
work
Idk how long at least a year.
Discovered in email
Not yet.
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OP
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Thanks Wheel.
Fifties, Is the OW married?
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I would also add that we care for my mentally/physically disabled sister and w/the children, we couldn't get my on my salary.
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How old are you? How old is your WS(wayward spouse)?
Do you have any children? How old are they?
How long have you been married? Is this the first marriage for both of you?
How did your WS meet their AP?
How long did the A last?
How did you find out about the A?
Have you ordered the book Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley? Have you read it? fifties answers: Me:52 WS:55
3 children, 16,12,9
21 yrs, yes
work
Idk how long at least a year.
Discovered in email
Not yet. Wheels, how do you know this? Is she posting on another thread?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Yes she's married and is in her 40's, has children as well.
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OK, you need to call her husband TODAY. And tell him. He can be your strongest ally in breaking up this affair. Explain to him the importance of establishing no contact. One of them MUST quit their job.
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Looks like your H has a choice to make. Either he
1. cuts things off with his "friend"
2. watch his marriage die
Surprisingly WS with such a question will chose choice number 2. This is not an ultimatum, but a fact that his contact with another woman is hurting you, and ruining your marriage.
Even if she is just a friend, which I doubt, it is still not appropriate to have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Notice that even if she were "just a friend" that it is still hurting you? It is not appropriate.
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When I confronted her, she spilled the beans to her hubbie and I don't know what the fall out was from that but she must have pulled the wool over his eyes pretty well because they are still together.
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When I confronted her, she spilled the beans to her hubbie and I don't know what the fall out was from that but she must have pulled the wool over his eyes pretty well because they are still together. How do you KNOW she told her husband?
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How old are you? How old is your WS(wayward spouse)?
Do you have any children? How old are they?
How long have you been married? Is this the first marriage for both of you?
How did your WS meet their AP?
How long did the A last?
How did you find out about the A?
Have you ordered the book Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley? Have you read it? fifties answers: Me:52 WS:55
3 children, 16,12,9
21 yrs, yes
work
Idk how long at least a year.
Discovered in email
Not yet. Wheels, how do you know this? Is she posting on another thread? Yeah found it in the newbies thread because sapph linked her to it.  Gotta see what my babe is up to, I never stop snooping.
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Ahhhh.... I see.
Yup, trust but verify.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Call him. Talk to him yourself. Tell him what you know.
Today.
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fifty, I am so sorry you are here. I see that you have started reading the thread that was started to help newly betrayed, that is a good first step.
I was reading your post and I was nodding all the time. I don't know if you started reading any other threads, but I will tell you that my WH said the SAME THINGS. by the time I found MB and this forum, my WHs affair was so totally entrenched that he decided he was going to leave me and our children and he was going to move in with his "friend" into her "spare room." Well, I installed a keylogger and I found one sided chats that had my WH talking about sex with OW. Needless to say, I was devastated, but i followed the principles on here and I have done the best I can in this HUGE mess.
So, what are you going to do? Exactly what Sapphire has suggested. You need to snoop and get the evidence and then prepare to expose this affair and blow it out of the water.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I'm scared to because he's such a fly off the handle wacko, there's no telling what he'd do. Kill someone? I'm sure he'd not be an ally. I don't even think he's employed. I don't know what to do.
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No need to ally yourself with him. He has his own marriage to work on. Did your H tell you that he is violent? or do you know him personally?
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I've thought of that and I don't know for sure.
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