When My DD was a toddler, she had a Teddy Ruxpin. For those who don't remember those they were a little teddy bear doll that you put special cassette tapes in and he told a story, waving his arms, moving his lips and gesturing with his head as he told a story.

One night my wife had put a tape from her pastor in my daughters Teddy Ruxpin and was listening to it in her own room when she went to sleep.

The next morning my daughter came crawling down the stairs and with a Questioning and somewhat puzzled frustrated voice asks, "Mommy, whats Pastor doing in my Teddy Ruxpin?!" She had gotten it from Moms room and His voice was booming out of it, dragging it behind her, and she knew who Pastor was.

I copied a bunch of stories here. When I can remember some really funny ones I will share them. I hope we all do.

My pleasure, it was easy, what hard is remembering all the funny stories, but I admit they are cheering me up, as well as all the other ones shared.

Many really should be submitted somehwere.


Here is one that comes from taking care of Emotionally troubled kids, The boy in question was 17 at the time, but he acted like a two year old, because of his problems. He was a great kid, good natured as anyone.

The caretaker that worked the shift before us told us this story. The boy came to her in the morning with a frustrated look on his face but laughed an said, "look -----, my peehole is upside down, haha".

It reminded me of the nocturnal thing..


Yes..yes...thats just great son..

Most of my stories highlight what a nerdy family we are...

When my son was around 4, he was known to be a very heavy sleeper. You could ask him a question and he would answer in his sleep. So one day my DH went into his room to wake him up. DS was out like a light. DH reach under the cover to tickle DS's rib. DS shot up into a sitting position, turned to look at DH, and shouted:

"E=mc squared!!"

Then he laid down, pulled up the covers, and went back to sleep.

I would like to make fun of him (and often do), but then I remember how my own brother and I used to read t5he dictionary for fun. We LOVED the bubonic plague because the dictionary said that the "buboes" first appear in the armpit.

And I wonder why I wasn't homecoming queen....

Around 1998, We were heading to a friends house, while in the car my children, DD14, DSs around 11 and 8 were bugging me to put on the rock station, (Mostly the older two, they were the more social ones).

Well I was not sure if they should be listening to hard rock much, if at all, they were pretty young, and its full of exampls of human condition with complaints that sound like wisdom, but mostly are identification with no answers. I also knew they had to deal with the real world and heard it when I wasn't around, so I tried to plant a seed in thier heads that music could draw you in, and not to take it to seriuosly.

I stopped the car, turned off the radio, and said to them.

"I am responsible for what I allow my children to listen to, and how those words mixed with emotions effect you. I will let you listen to this station if you can give me what in my opinion is a true definition of what music is"

I was expecting to open a conversation about truth, sympathy, indentification, negative and positive emotion, social connection through those things....


My 8 year old, in a most matter of fact tone of voice, in almost a dissapointed drone of an answer said,

"Dad, music is an instrumental expression of the soul"


I shut up and turned on the radio.

OMG...Mwahahahaha..These are the best...I LOVE this thread. Mwhahahahahah.

Ohhhh I thought of one....This is from when I was young...a friend of mines brother used to torture her. You know, like most normal brothers do...

Well the heat used to make a lot of noises...esp at night, it used to freak my friend out...her brother used to tell her it was the little men working on the house in the middle of the night...She said "No, there is no such thing as little men". Well one night her brother put little toy tools around her room and he showed them to her and said "See the little men were working in your room last night, there are there little tools."

Hahahahahaha...My friend and I were sooooo freaked out, I even had nightmares about the "little men" working in my room at night. Stupid brothers. And I didnt even have a brother.

Guess, what I got one from today..Its just a little funnie from my cutie...

We went to eat lunch in a cafeteria at the aquarium and DS took a little packet of salt for his fries...He looked at the writing on it and said "why would anyone want to use idiotized salt?"....hahahahahahahaha, it said "iodized salt", hahahahahaha.

Okay, I thought it was funny. (I almost said to DS, maybe thats the kind your father uses...buuuttt I bit my tongue )

Well, if there is idiotized salt, that would explain some of the people I have encountered in life!

Okay, you just have to know how usually quiet my son is, and how dry his humor can be. A while back we were riding in the car, and I made some remark about Justin Bieber. DS said, "She's so annoying."

I was kind of surprised at his mistake, and I said, "Justin Bieber is a boy."

He just looked at me blandly and replied, "So say YOU."

bwahahahahahaha! I'm not a big Beiber fan.

Ok this one is about my DD when she was 16.

She had been occasionally bugging us to allow her to get her belly-button peirced since she was 12 and ehr freind had a sister who had done it. Of course i said no at twelve, but by 16 other peer pressure and the need to pick my battles made me begrudgingly give in.


A parent or gaurdian had to accompany her because she was a minor. We went to the peircing joint and heard the spiel, and the girl asked me if I had any questions.

" I have just one, can i have the pleasure of shoving that needle through"?

I was the only one who laughed of course. And I must say that it greatly improved her maturity. J/K

We had two boys, and they drove my wife nuts with listening to her. Although we would try to avoid spanking, after some warning my wife would bring out the wooden spoon as a last resort. When she couldn't find one it was sometimes a ladle.

It was surprising finding all the spoons and ladles on the garage roof one day as they mYsteriously disapeared slowly from the house.

When my DD was 5 and a DS was 2 1/2, my wife was playing patient. son was doctor, and DD was nurse.

DD told my wife she had to have a shot. My wife played wimpering and scared and said" OH Nooo, Will it hurt Doctor?"

He responded with a "Yup. it will hurt a lot", with as seriuos of a tone that he had.

Hahahahah...this is my favorite thread...thanks for sharing Luri and CP...and keep sharing, I LOVE these.

Same son, 5 years old,

He had developed a friendship with a niehbors daughter, 6 years old, who went to school.
Well he had heard that 7-8 year olds were picking on her at school.

One day my wife walked down to pick up the girl with the nieghbor and took him with her. When they got there he asked the girl which kids were mean to her and went up to 5 kids and threatened them to leave her alone, pulling up his sleeves like the little rascals.

We of course told him that is not the way to handle that but inside I was a little proud of his attitude.

This is not a kiddie story really, but it was one of the things my youngest son said that amazed me.

Him and I were homeless at one time when our family had broken up. We were riding in a car and someone commented on how hard it must be for both of us. You can imagine my heartbreak and concern for all of them and he was only 14 at the time.

The comment was made that we would be OK and God puts his people into the fire to strengthen them. He was well aware of this premise.

He said," I look at it as being boiled clean really, the fabric is being cleaned. It is not as if we were being bleached as that is the quick way, but destroys the fabric at the expense. We wern't looking for a quick fix to cover up the problem, we want the fabric whole and strong in the end".

Out of the mouths of babes.

Also, when I had apoligized for letting things get this bad, and was worried about how this would effect his life, he said,

"I look at it like being bit by a snake, and now i will have immunity to it"

We must have done something right

Those were wonderful stories...and they make it obvious that you are definitely doing something right...

My Granddaugter is a princess.

At the store today i was putting her back in the cart so I could push her around the store. She argued with me she wanted to walk and was standing in the seat.

All of a sudden, she sat down quietly. I though it was my determination and patience along with my winning personality and special connection that had won the battle.

It was quikly revealed that a young women to the side was looking at her, and she was embarrassed becuse she knew she should listen to Grampa. She smiled and acted so sweet to the women, what a Ham.

Shes a little ham all right...but a smart one. heehee

TY for that. It has been my greatest concern that my children do not inherit the issues both my wife and I had gotten from the hands life had dealt us, and to be fair it was her greatest fear that she would turn out to fail them and be like her mother. Shame on those that used her fear against her.

Ok this is a lite thread, back to remembering fun stuff.

Well from your stories it sounds like you both have succeeded...it is very difficult to raise children, didnt really now how difficult until I had my DS...