[quote=HalfUnit]I did remember I had saved all the ones between her and I and so I read through those and there it was, yes they had sex. The problem was not that he could not have intercourse with her, *edit*. Some of you may be wondering ....so what sex is sex....Not in this case it was my biggest question and to find out 2 years later he lied to me makes me sick.

THE REAL STORY

I need to apologize to all of you. In one of my post I tell you all about being on another site and how both OW and her H joined the same site. So when I joined this site I did not tell all the details and changed some dates. Things I did not think matter too much and would not impact on the help I would receive, but now I don't care if they are on here or not and I need to tell it all.

I did find out the summer of 09, they had been seeing each other since the fall of 08. The first time he went to see her was in Feb 09, but I did not know about that trip at first.

I did find out about the June 09 trip. I installed a keylogger on his computer, smashed their secret phone, and started e-mailing her. She knew it was over. She was afraid I would tell her H and I said I wouldn't as long as any questioned I asked her, then asked my FWH matched. All of them did, except she gave more details then he did. In like what did you have for dinner, she said pizza, he said Italian.

I had read many of their e-mails back and forth and skimmed some. He did not know I knew of that account and I was waiting for him to hang himself by contacting her and my keylogger catching it. He never wrote her again. In these e-mails is where the truth of the sex and the problem came from.

See my FWH said they never had intercourse, *edit*. So I asked her if they had any issues in the sex department *edit*. Stupid me, wanting to believe no sex occurred *edit*, but then I remembered one time way back in the early years when he was lying to me about something and he had the same issue. He could not *edit*, I later learned about the lie and sex went back to normal. *edit*

Then I read SAA and I knew I needed to tell her husband and I contacted him in Dec 2010 and shared all I knew. So he sat her down and told her I had told him everything and either she came clean or he would divorce her. She told him about the first trip that happened in Feb 2010, the one I did not know about. She told him all the positions, how long the sex lasted....basically all I had asked for and didn't get.

I confronted my FWH and he said there was another trip but though they tried, none of the sex part she talked about happened. In re-reading my e-mails from her, I see now the parts that sound as if they came from the times we were dating. He said the same things to me while having sex. How could she make that up? She didn't.

Then here is the killer, I also found out through the OW's H that my FWH had sex with a woman at work when he was married to his first wife. Though this was a one time thing, he had the same issue. This A lasted all of about 30 minutes and he could not *edit*. They never talked about it and she was transferred and he never saw her again.

So there it is, the real story....not my hiding from the OW and her BH version. I feel like an idiot, but I swear I have not felt normal or clear headed from the day I found out until this last week. I am so sorry for not telling it all, but somethings I just found out in the last month. So maybe I needed to wait to tell my story until I had it all.

I now need to hear it from him or we cannot heal. I need truth and honesty. I see now how my fear of having the OW here caused me to omit parts of what happened that were probably more important than I gave them credit for. I can't apologize enough, but it feels good to have it all out there.

Where do I go from here. Sit him down and say OK, here it is, you can tell me the truth of we can set up a lie detector test. I know I am not getting the whole truth???

A guy at work said to me the other day, "Your husband has got a way with words, he could sell an ice cube to an Eskimo". I wanted to cry. I have no idea what in our marriage has been the truth and what hasn't been. I am not even sure if he loves me.

He also told her "Lying is easy, you just tell people what they want to hear". She I guess was asking how to lie to her husband about where she was on their evening together at the hotel.

You all can hit me with all the 2x4 you want, I deserve them.

HU

Thanks Brian Hurts,

I feel so lost/ I feel as if I have done everything wrong. God help me. I am not sure how to even get started. Again I am so sorry for not telling the whole story. I can't stop crying.

I need to do something and I'm not sure where to start,,,,how do I fix everything?

HU