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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
But you do what you want to do because of you and your values, not because of external events. THIS is the crux of it Capt.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 32
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 32 |
I just joined a couple of days ago. You can read my introductory post.
What amazes me is that you would want your STBXW back. She has been cheating while still married to you, even if it is while going through the mechanics of divorcing.
MM, who I decided not to meet up with, is dating while going through divorcing. He isn't divorced yet, and I read where he stated the division of assets is going in slow motion. Yet, he is dating. He posted pictures of his Saturday with one woman in particular.
I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, and she is an idiot, IMO, if she does. Why don't you feel this way about WW? Dude get the divorce and get the hell out of there.
Gerberdaisies
Female
BW
XWH
Divorced
9 years married
2 years had known spouse before marriage
Both EA&PA
OP was: single
OP was:co-worker
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
Well, he's no peach either. He was cheating before she was. All around a disgusting situation. Yet, the best thing would be for them BOTH to get their acts together and have a healthy marriage. Best for them, best for their kids.
MB provides a framework in which that can happen.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 32
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 32 |
True Vibrissa. I forgot about his infidelities, too. I think he would do well to man up and his wife woman up, too, quit their affairs and work on their marriage. Do I think that will happen? Not really, which they will likely regret someday.
GB
Female
BW
XWH
Divorced
9 years married
2 years had known spouse before marriage
Both EA&PA
OP was: single
OP was:co-worker
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 22 |
I would not give up on a marriage where the two people still want to be close, be intimate, and stay as a couple, but have shown the selfish, immature, and stupid inclination to have affairs. You hurt yourself, you hurt your partner and you ruin your relationship when you do not foster trust and total commitment to your partner. I know this because I did not foster a total commitment to my wife. And she decided she would not stay in a marriage where she was not considered to be the most important being (I put my job ahead of her). If you love your wife, tell her. Tell her everyday and celebrate your marriage at every opportunity. Keep her forever and she will be the woman of all your dreams. You will not need or want to go with another woman.
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