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Joined: Oct 2010
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Originally Posted by gdw
is the most important thing our children or should it be our marriage ?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_care.html


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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You won't even begin to R until you move.

I know it's a big step. We moved 1500 miles and 3 states away. I can't even tell you what a relief it has been for both of us to relax and stop looking over our shoulders. We don't even think of her at all any more, with the sole exception of a trip down memory lane to help someone on MB.

It's very damaging for the BS to be continually triggered like that, and downright dangerous for the FWS who wants to stay a "F" WS.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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yes no contact unless you call contact seeing him drive around the area as he is a taxi driver

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bump - gdw can we help you here?


Joined: Mar 2010
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There is none so blind as he who will not see!

You present a problem ("Why do I continue to 'feel' uncomfortable even after I think my WW's affair is over?"), and the salient factor is identified, ("Uhhh, because you'll never absolutely KNOW the affair is over until WW cannot possibly re-cheat. MOVE!"), and your response is, "Oh, but it would be so much bother to relocate."

You're joking, right?

It may well be that your WW is now truly the paragon of virtue and chastity that you would desire. (Not likely, BTW, because cheating by WWs usually mimics a malarial infection - quiescent, but always a threat to re-appear!) Her qualities, are, however, immaterial because your better judgment knows not to believe the unlikely, and that has impacts.

So don't move. Continue to sit and stew, inevitably letting your doubts and resentments infect your relationship ("Oh, but it won't!" BULLSPIT!), until your failure to protect and care for your union incents her to consider stepping out again.

Joined: Dec 2007
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Originally Posted by gdw
yes no contact unless you call contact seeing him drive around the area as he is a taxi driver


Yes that is very much contact and that contact stops the WS from detoxing from their addiction.

Never detoxed.
Still an addict.
The affair even though phyiscally is over is never ended mentally.

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