No, I don't think it's possible she is pregnant and am pretty darn sure there has not been any physical contact. She talks about getting pregnant and fertility cycles and calculating when she could get pregnant, not currently feeling pregnant, etc.

But, I can understand how that looks suspicious to onlookers reading. Again, as far as I know this did not turn PA.

So, her and our son should go on the working holiday you think?

Yes bring her with you, do not give her any opportunity to contact the OM.

OK, I'm asking her so she doesn't feel forced. But, I'm pretty sure she wants to go just to get out of here for a few days regardless if it's with me or not.

Asked her last night and she wants to go. Mentioned how it would be good for our son to get out for a few days, as well. I hope it will be good for us.

So we had another pretty good weekend, even went dancing on Saturday night for the holiday (Eid). After we get home of course it's "ok, goodnight" with a small peck then lights out and she goes straight to sleep.

Sunday was a bit more lazy around the house and one of those everyone is on eggshells because I'm somewhat SF and Affection frustrated and she is still cold-ish.

We end up talking after our son goes to sleep and she does most of the venting. Mostly about how she's still angry inside, needs her own time to get over things HER way, says she gets mad when I am now suddenly being a loving husband and expect acts in kind or reciprocation and then get disappointed/mopy when I don't receive them (which is somewhat true...but it just affects me so much) and that makes her feel like yet again my feelings are more important than hers and how she wants to behave.

So, I'm asking now how do I not show how those feelings affect me which in turn upset her? She says she's feeling pressured to show me affection. How do I not make her feel like that when it affects me so much? I don't get angry, I don't lash out, but I'm still love busting somehow but don't know how to modify that behavior. Any tips?

oh, and she started her period (so she isn't pregnant)

and I got the tickets for all of us to Morocco.

Show indifference and don�t smother her.

Thanks. I guess my indifference comes off as disappointment. Thing is, for a long time that was a major complaint of hers (LB) not showing near enough affection - something I've always had a problem with even growing up. Now, I give it to her and it's like she doesn't want it.

I don't feel like I'm smothering her, per se, just giving her the affection she always wanted. But, I guess she isn't so receptive to it at the moment, but it is getting better...................................

We have our regional psychologist (who I have spoken with about this situation) visiting our place of work next week. Previously, in the height of the EA, she was extremely adamant about not seeing him, but the Dr. emailed me and told me he was going to be in town, which I forwarded to her and just let her know if she wishes to talk to him he'll be here.

Anyone have any advice on something I can say to possibly persuade her or just not bring it up and let her broach it after the email I sent? I think she will say 'no'.

Any advice on the pshyc? I know my wife read the email I forwarded to her about it because I was sitting right next to her when she did...she didn't say anything and just went to the next email.

This pshyc is actually aware of MB because I asked him about it and is 'pro-marriage'...so he says.

He's only in town 3 days but available 24/7 via phone.

One other issue, since I mentioned the current frustration with SF. I see on the eblaster that she is watching lots of p@rn and I'm assuming satisfying herself. She does not tell me about this. I do not have a problem with her doing this, especially if she shares it with me, but she is specifically holding back from SF and she has told me as much because she doesn't feel ready. Also says she doesn't like sex, etc, but she never seemed to have an issue before D-Day.

no takers on this one?

She doesn't want to have sex with you hence why she is looking at porn. That is all that is. I don't know what to say, are you meeting her needs? What are they and what are you doing?

I can say with confidence that I'm doing a very good job at meeting her emotional needs right now...I just don't think she's very receptive to it due to her withdrawal (both from the A and from the marriage). She's even told me as much on both me meeting them and her not being too receptive to it.

In case I haven't listed them, she reluctantly gave them to me:

1 Honesty and Openness
2 Family Commitment
3 Conversation
4 Affection (yes, she listed two 4's...typo???)
4 Admiration
5 Physical Attractiveness
6 Sexual Fulfillment
7 Recreational Companionship
8 Financial Support
9 Domestic Support

I would call BS on some of the placement in the order above, but that's not really my call at the moment.

For the Honestly and Openness I basically tell her everything I'm doing and where I'm going (except for posting here and snooping on her computer) that made her feel like she was excluded before. No aspect of my daily dealings are kept from her, especially if she asks me.
The family commitment is not a problem and never has been...I'm always with and around them and find pleasure in doing so.
Conversation is a bit of a toughy for me, but I'm doing leaps and bounds better and now she's the one that doesn't really try to talk. I have to pull her into convo's and I try to start them regularly by asking about her and telling her about my day. I email and text her several times a day with nice notes letting her know I'm thinking of her, as well.
Affection and Admiration are currently off the charts but I am trying not to be suffocating and I've gotten better at it.

Any issues with what I'm doing?

Should I ask her about the psychologist or just leave that alone since she is aware that he is coming?

you seem to be doing all the right things. She just is not in love with you yet. You have to be patient and keep working on it.
Also, you should give yourself a deadline. If she is not into you by then and still watching p@rn but not wanting sex with you then you should move on.
Phoenix, a poster, comes to mind. Her WH never recovered the feelings for her and now they are separated...
Things can work both ways, so prepare yourself for that but still keep up the good work.
Conversation wise...I understand it is hard for you to have good conv if it is like pulling teeth with her.
Leave her alone for now and do not put too much pressure nor expectations on her. She seems still very foggy to me.
blessing

Atena, yes, she is still very foggy I think and I'm quite sure she is not in love with me. She tells me she truly does love me...but she doesn't show it and that "in love" feeling is not back yet for her. It will do us wonders (I hope) when we are able to finally leave where we are living here in Africa in December for good and get completely away from the vicinity of the OM and other triggers around. I saw him when we went dancing the other night and regularly see him driving past his place of work - so I'm sure she does, as well....it's just bad in that aspect.

That also leads into somewhat of a deadline. Our next location is Dubai so I want to keep giving Plan A the chance until we get there in January and if I am still getting crushed daily and she doesn't want to work on the marriage as a team then I will have to Plan B.

Yes, definately moving away from OM will help immensely, but do not underestimate the power of FB and other social networking things..they can keep feelings alive from a distance. This is new as in the past, people moved and the only way to keep in touch was to write a letter provided they had an address...
In Dubai everything will be new and you have a high chance of being her focal point and that should help her re-kindle feeling of love for you.
blessing

Yes, I'm sure it will help. She's actually from Dubai and we will be close to her family there and indeed will give us a chance to focus on all of us. It would also be easier to do a Plan B there (hoping I don't have to) because she could easily move in with family.

I can monitor her facebook/computer usage and she hasn't looked him up or emailed him in about 2 weeks...but I'm still unsure about phone usage. That will be easier to monitor in Dubai, as well.

We were at a hotel pool yesterday and POSOM shows up with some buddies. I get tense...she's like "don't let this bother you...we can leave when you want" etc...she apologized for it bothering me but kept saying the "this shouldn't bother you" kind of stuff. That sucked and didn't really make me feel better.

We left soon thereafter. Just venting.

want it to work

I know this is of know consollation but she must have found it really difficuly to deal with that aswell. The fact that she ignored him, was bothered about your needs and was by your side says everything.

Keep doing what your doing and stay strong. I was a FWW, and if I saw OM with my H I would be mortified, I would dread that happening.

Have you suggested doing some activities with your w to try and build up time spent together? Have you suggested some time away together? Just a thought.

Good luck and stay strong.