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You are also in my prayers and thoughts today Hope; enjoy the day with DD!!


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Just checking in...

We went to church and now getting ready to go see a comedy movie.

DD seemed a little down and I addressed "the elephant in the room". She said he was an idiot and did not want to even talk about him.

She told him at Thanksgiving 2 years ago that if he ever married PP she would never talk to him again. Don't know if that was what she was thinking about.

Thank you for all of your prayers and good wishes.

The pastor talked about When people leave you, let them go. God is making room for the right people and clearing out the wrong people for your future.

Was he talking to me?

Blessings.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Quote
The pastor talked about When people leave you, let them go. God is making room for the right people and clearing out the wrong people for your future.

Was he talking to me?

Wow!!! Is he reading your mail? I dunno Hope, think about it. He chose THIS day to bring THIS message.

((((Hope))))


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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hope i know you don't know me but i have read your story from the time i started posting here. You have more strength than you know and you have given strength to other like me. You and your wonderful kids were in my thoughts and prayers all weekend!

Hope you had fun with lunch and your movie!!!


Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Well is is 10-11-10. Guess they are hitched and sleeping off their hangovers.

Yesterday turned out alright for me. Did not cry over this affairage once. He has chosen poorly.

My friend came over with a bouquet of flowers for DD and me. She gave us a beautiful card saying she was thinking of us and what good friends we are.

Your messages have touched not just my heart but my soul. I could feel the strength of all that prayed for me and my little family. I never felt alone all day.

thanks.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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What a good friend you have......{{{{Hope}}}}

And no sweetie, you were never "alone" yesterday..... kiss

Not

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Hope, you aren't alone; we are here with you and
your little family. You have built such a sturdy
foundation for your life, you can weather any change
in wind direction. I'm cheering for you!



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Originally Posted by acantha
Hope, you aren't alone; we are here with you and
your little family. You have built such a sturdy
foundation for your life, you can weather any change
in wind direction. I'm cheering for you!

Thank you, we have weathered all changes and have moved forward.

We are strong, we are in a good place. As far as for them one day God will judge them.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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{{{Hope}}} you definitely were not alone, not once during that day.
You are a strong and confident woman, you control your life, destiny, and who you are. You can define yourself any way you choose. Continue to give the example of grace, class, and beauty (inside and out) to your DD.
The affairees can not live up to your standards, deep down they know it.
Quote
The pastor talked about When people leave you, let them go. God is making room for the right people and clearing out the wrong people for your future.

Was he talking to me?
ITA, God is making room in your life for the right people, know that your life will somehow be better in the long run.


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Originally Posted by mymissy
{{{Hope}}} you definitely were not alone, not once during that day.
You are a strong and confident woman, you control your life, destiny, and who you are. You can define yourself any way you choose. Continue to give the example of grace, class, and beauty (inside and out) to your DD.
The affairees can not live up to your standards, deep down they know it.

I also admire what you have been through with grace. We are not alone and find strength from others going through this. I was at a woman's group for my church last night and there were 13 women. 4 were divorced with one woman who spent part of the evening in tears because of the breakup of her M. I guess I was meant to sit next to her and gave her a short version of my past 2 years. We are going to get together and maybe direct her here.

Adultery is an epidemic and it is no longer shocking. No one understands unless it happens to you.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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And if like I do, you try to avoid movies/books to do with affairs or actors who have had affairs, you find yourself hard-pressed to come up with much to read or see that's modern.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Originally Posted by karmasrose
And if like I do, you try to avoid movies/books to do with affairs or actors who have had affairs, you find yourself hard-pressed to come up with much to read or see that's modern.

I agree. How many times have I gone to the movies this past few years and about 80% of them had an affair in it. It could be a comedy, drama even horror. Hard to get away from it.

95% of the celebrity breakups it is over an OP.

Is it the change of the times or is it the media that exploits these stories that we are aware of them more.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Quote
Adultery is an epidemic and it is no longer shocking. No one understands unless it happens to you.

I so totally agree. What is worse is that I bet most of the BS's are like me; NEVER thought it would happen to me, NEVER thought WH was capable of those actions and lies. Completely and utterly blindsided and devastated.

I think it has become to much of a disposable society, with no consequences.

Sad


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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It's an epidemic because people don't hold the pig rutters accountable anymore.

We are a society here taught we HAVE to be politcally correct and tolerant of everything. Even the things we find morally repugnant.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Originally Posted by peachyisback
It's an epidemic because people don't hold the pig rutters accountable anymore.

We are a society here taught we HAVE to be politcally correct and tolerant of everything. Even the things we find morally repugnant.


soooo totally agree with that!!!


Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Originally Posted by StrongerThanB4
Originally Posted by peachyisback
It's an epidemic because people don't hold the pig rutters accountable anymore.

We are a society here taught we HAVE to be politcally correct and tolerant of everything. Even the things we find morally repugnant.


soooo totally agree with that!!!

Tired of being politically correct. My biggest challenge will seeing either of them the first time when they return from their affairage next week. PP is nothing and will continue to be nothing. But after all we know how special these A are?

Heard there is a pool going around at work taking bets on how long it will last. 1 year was the longest bet. Not touching that pool with a 10 foot pole!


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Just checking in to say I am doing remarkably well.

Mr. & Mrs. rutting pigs re back to work this week. I actually saw XH 2x now driving by me. I looked away.

10 days in Vegas are over, affairage done...and on to the reality of bankruptcy, drinking and everyday life.

Need my popcorn and time to watch the show.






Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I am glad to hear you are doing okay hope.....Your are doing great.

Now I will wait to hear about the two jerks getting their come uppins....


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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What would be really funny?

Get some actual popcorn. When he does his next drive-by, pick it up, and casually eat some - stare straight into his eyes while popping some in your mouth.

There is nothing more aggravating than trying to get a rise out of somebody and their response is cavalier and casual. He is HOPING you will not make eye contact! Don't feed the tiger and make him feel stronger. Instead, show him YOUR strength

which you actually HAVE.


Imagine the upper hand you have:

You know that he is now in a marriage that has a huge failure possibility. He thinks he has done something "smart".

You know that his finances are in the toilet. He thinks he married PP and that she will bail him out (right!).

You know that he has done nothing to repair his self-betraying and relationship-destroying behaviors. He thinks YOU had the problems!

You know that he has left a marriage, only to carry the very same problems right into the new marriage. He thinks that by "starting over fresh" with someone else that things will be magically better.


You know that PP has a fantasy image of him. He thinks he can keep up that image forever?


Popcorn is the ideal food for this stage play. You've watched Acts I and II. Everyone knows the real mess is just beginning, and YOU aren't even in the show. THAT is the true position of strength, because a life well-lived is the best revenge of all.


You make eye contact. And just shake your head and laugh right in his face. Because what you are watching

is a comedic tragedy.


Sb


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Originally Posted by schoolbus
What would be really funny?

Get some actual popcorn. When he does his next drive-by, pick it up, and casually eat some - stare straight into his eyes while popping some in your mouth.

There is nothing more aggravating than trying to get a rise out of somebody and their response is cavalier and casual. He is HOPING you will not make eye contact! Don't feed the tiger and make him feel stronger. Instead, show him YOUR strength

which you actually HAVE.


Imagine the upper hand you have:

You know that he is now in a marriage that has a huge failure possibility. He thinks he has done something "smart".

You know that his finances are in the toilet. He thinks he married PP and that she will bail him out (right!).

You know that he has done nothing to repair his self-betraying and relationship-destroying behaviors. He thinks YOU had the problems!

You know that he has left a marriage, only to carry the very same problems right into the new marriage. He thinks that by "starting over fresh" with someone else that things will be magically better.


You know that PP has a fantasy image of him. He thinks he can keep up that image forever?


Popcorn is the ideal food for this stage play. You've watched Acts I and II. Everyone knows the real mess is just beginning, and YOU aren't even in the show. THAT is the true position of strength, because a life well-lived is the best revenge of all.


You make eye contact. And just shake your head and laugh right in his face. Because what you are watching

is a comedic tragedy.


Sb

SB you are brilliant with your thinking outside of the box. Need to incorporate that strength at work.

I would love to send some pictures of the "nupitials" that someone showed me. Would like you to check out his body language in the pictures. I am no expert but even I could see the stress. Let me know.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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