While I won't presume to say "dump the loser" since I am an outsider, I DO definately think you should consult an attorney and secure your poosition. Next you should figureout what you want and why.

If you still want to work on the marriage, get ready for a rough ride.

If you ever catch that laptop unlocked again you take it.

If you don't know how to, find a friend who does, and you take Admin account on the computer, set up a user account for WH, password the admin account, remove his password, and block any sites he may be using to contact her.

Then shut off his phone, get a new plan/number if he needs one, and set the account with limits to who it can call/receive calls from.

What is he driving around? Your car? Take the keys.

Meanwhile, Plan A at home. Meet ENs and stop LBs. You need to make the marriage the only reasonable choice.

Gather the evidence you feel you need. Expose. War on the affair. Plan A.

s84a:

I want you to look at yourself, and the advice you would give a friend in the same position as you.

You work and provide the home.
You clean this house.
You prepare the food.
You pay for the cars and the cell phone.
You pay the electric bill and the other utilities.
You accept no affection for 3 years.
You accept daily lying and in your face scorn for him

And this is where you come in.

Why do YOU accept this treatment? What about you do feel that you can NOT have a better marriage than this? Why can't you stand up to this person who is disrespecting you in so many ways?

Everytime you state in your posts that you would like to enforce a boundary, you then minimize it by saying the he "wouldn't do or like that".

Can't you see how this takes you completely out of the marriage as an equal? And he knows it?

Was he a good guy when you married? Employed? What was he like 5 years ago?

Back to you:

MB is about recovering your marriage, but can also be about recovering YOURSELF. By giving YOU the strengh to stand up for yourself, to work on your own issues, and then face the world with a new outlook.

Your husband is sharing 1300 texts a month with someone else that isn't YOU. You would KILL for that amount of attention from your husband, wouldn't you?

It has been proposed to you to do difficult things. Turn off his phone that you pay for, take the keys from the car that you pay for, etc. All in the hope that he changes his behavior to become a better husband. It is possibility that he MIGHT become that husband. But ONLY if he was that type of person before, and he has fallen "off-track" recently.

If you do the difficult things, and start enforcing your personal boundaries, than you might end up with a better marriage. You might end up with a better husband. But you WILL end up with a better s84a. And that is worth fighting for.

(((s84a)))

LG

Yes I would definitely cut his phone and the internet, tell him "if your going to act like a child this way then I'm going to act like a parent and cut off your means to chat with other woman."