Another thing to possibly consider: Move. If rent is taking up half your take home pay, you can't afford to live and work where you are.

Thanks BrainHurts. I actually haven't seen that section before.

I noticed one of the suggestions on there is pack a lunch and have a picnic. This is one of my favorite things to do. My absolute favorite dates are when me and DH go to the canyon near our home, visit the bird sanctuary, have a picnic, and go for a hike. I really am a cheap date. I don't like all the fancy, expensive stuff.

Good. There were also ideas about games and such after the kids are in bed. It will just be DD3.5 at home with you two, correct?

So you can do fun stuff after she's in bed. Does she have a good set bedtime?

Ok so how long until DS moves out?

I would put DD to bed by 8 and so that gives you at least 2 hrs for UA time.

Has your DH got his T level checked? I know you asked before but did he ever get it checked?

About a week until DS moves out (we'll see if he stays gone since he's just going to stay with a friend and doesn't have a job yet).

DH has had his T level checked. It was normal, but on the low end of normal. Doctor wants him to see an endocrinologist. I need to get on him to make that appointment. He was supposed to go months ago.

Yes get him to see the doctor to rule out anything else.

So can you get DD to bed by 8? If DS doesn't stay gone you can still have the time for UA?

Yeah, I'm going to bring up the issue about the appointment again. He said he will go, but he just doesn't make the appointment. I'm not sure why he's still putting it off.

Yes, we can definitely get DD into bed earlier. I've already told DS that the only way he will be allowed to come back is if he is a) going to school full time (he didn't finish high school. He's years behind and simply refused to go anymore several months ago) or b) working full time and paying rent. He says he doesn't want to stay here, but since he has no job and no education, I have no idea what he plans to do once he gets tired of floating from one friend's couch to another.

Let us know what DH says about not making the appointment. Will it fill an EN for him if you made the appointment and go with him?

Writer, do you see any of your adult children?

Writer, do you see any of your adult children?

Okay, I dug up this old thread of mine because I was reading Opt's UA thread and I didn't want to interrupt that.

But this is still something I struggle with, even after all this time.

OC is 3 1/2 now. She will soon be our only child at home (youngest DS is turning 18 in a few days and will be moving out after lots of issues over the past several years). He has been baby sitting once a week for date night, but even getting him to do that has been a struggle and we still have to pay him.

So, our situation now is this:

1) No family to babysit. Nearest family is over an hour away and the only one remotely able/willing to babysit is my mom, and she will only do so occasionally as she is now on disability and cannot handle a 3-year-old for long periods of time.

2) Still very little money to hire a baby sitter. Our rent recently went up and we now spend almost half our take-home pay on rent for a 2-bedroom apartment (cheapest we could find in the area).

3) No friends/acquaintances in the area with small children we could swap baby sitting with. In fact, I really don't know anyone here at all.

This thread veered off to how I could earn more money. But what I would really like to focus on is how people with young children (under 5) who are not in school yet manage to get the required 15-20 hours of UA time in every week. I can see how it would be possible with lots of family support, or enough money to hire a full time nanny, but what about those who do not have those luxuries?

To me, it just seems impossible to even imagine finding someone to watch our 3-year-old 4 times a week for 4 hours at a time. One of the reasons I stopped posting here almost a year ago was because I was really getting the impression that MB just isn't for people with young children who don't have tons of money or family support for the program. I don't know if that's the impression Dr. Harley wants to give, but it's definitely the impression I got here on the forum.

I would love to hear from people with young children who have successfully worked the MB program while their children were young.

Do you go out on the recommended 4 dates a week? If so, how do you accomplish this? Who provides the daycare for your children while you are on dates? How have you managed to pay for this? If family members provide care for your children while you are on dates, how did you get them onboard with MB?

Most of the people I have told about the program and attempted to get support from in this matter simply think I'm crazy and that I have entirely unrealistic expectations, which has been very frustrating.

For now, I have basically put MB on hold and accepted the fact that it might not be something I am capable of doing until our DD is older. But I'd love to be wrong about that.

And also, it has to be you and your husband working together for a solution. Not just you. Where is he in all of this? What ideas does he have?