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I love the suggestion about the AA brochure........ Well, I personally would be incredibly tempted to throw this in, as well. But don't do it. Keep it on-topic and to the point. That brochure makes it a little more involved with OW than I think you should be.
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Agree - sending the brochure is a snide, personal comment, which should be avoided no matter how good it would feel for the moment.
Very convenient that your H is an atty!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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How was your last NC letter sent? By mail? Do you have a copy? I Google'd harassment laws and it looks like as long as you have told the person to leave you alone and you have proof of that and proof of their attempts to continue to contact you, you can get charges brought.
The more I think about it, I wouldn't waste my time with another NC letter. What makes you think she will respect that one if she didn't respect the first one? I would maybe text her "You have been told to stop contacting this phone #. Any further communications sent by you will be reported to the police and harassment charges will be filed." And I would file a police report if there is even one more attempted contact.
Every single communication is damaging to your R, and I wouldn't mess around if she isn't being this brazen. She may not be stable.
Last edited by SusieQ; 11/08/10 02:06 PM.
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Every single communication is damaging to your R, and I wouldn't mess around if she isn't being this brazen. She may not be stable. This is why I think it's a good idea for a third party to contact her. I also think she'd be getting 'something' from any form of direct communication from jess & her H. I wouldn't give her that 'something.'
D-Day 2-10-2009
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If you H is an atty, he knows and can probably easily hire another to write/deliver a "sease of personal contact" letter.
He/she could then spell out in detail the steps that would be taken in event of breach.
It would be the best $250 you ever spent. I would also have a process server locate her bunz and hand it to her in person.
Maybe then she will get the "no contact" message.
I would only do this if she continues to "pop up" around your H, and the texting continues. If you have to go to the police in the future, a personal letter from an your counselor is great evidence of your past wishes.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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If you H is an atty, he knows and can probably easily hire another to write/deliver a "sease of personal contact" letter.
He/she could then spell out in detail the steps that would be taken in event of breach.
It would be the best $250 you ever spent. I would also have a process server locate her bunz and hand it to her in person.
Maybe then she will get the "no contact" message.
I would only do this if she continues to "pop up" around your H, and the texting continues. If you have to go to the police in the future, a personal letter from an your counselor is great evidence of your past wishes. Even better: your H is an attorney?? He could have a colleague write and cease & desist letter and he probably wouldn't even be charged a penny! Hey, jessi - is skankho married? Does her H know about this contact?
D-Day 2-10-2009
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MaritalBliss,
Skankho was married, her husband was the one that told me of the affair......they have since separated......their daughters stayed with him, thought their mother was a little narcistic and selfish......
my husband and I are going to put together a game plan on what we can do that will get her the message once and for all......
the good thing I think he is really seeing her for the low life she is.......
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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MaritalBliss,
Skankho was married, her husband was the one that told me of the affair......they have since separated......their daughters stayed with him, thought their mother was a little narcistic and selfish......
my husband and I are going to put together a game plan on what we can do that will get her the message once and for all......
the good thing I think he is really seeing her for the low life she is....... I would let her H know about her attempts at contact. For all you know, she's playing him at the same time and letting him think she wants to come home. If that's the case, he'll let her know that you told him about the contact. That might help stop her.
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Never thought of that angle, she seems a little crazed right now.....I have spoken to him in the last few months and he told me he was finished with her, that her daughters won't have anything to do with her......so maybe she is just going over the edge.......
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Never thought of that angle, she seems a little crazed right now.....I have spoken to him in the last few months and he told me he was finished with her, that her daughters won't have anything to do with her......so maybe she is just going over the edge....... I wouldn't count on that. I think she's drinking to dull the pain of the guilt she feels. I think she misses her family, she misses the 'hits' she got from her former AP's attention, and she's swinging back and forth between the two. In any event, I would let him know. You never know...
D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I'm all for doing anything and everything to keep my family in place......
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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