[tj=on]
The merits and detriment of the use "180" should be discussed under its own thread.
[tj=off]

@ICAN -

If you are unable to snoop. I would suggest the possibility of using the stick part of Plan A. Meeting ENs and stop LB is the carrot. Use the stick.

So in your opinion, clark_kent, what should we do about what we consider to be conflicting or harmful advice that is now permanently recorded on a new poster's thread?

If we start a new thread to discuss it, the poster in crisis might or might not read that new thread, and might or might not recognise that this is their situation that is being discussed.

The new poster sees a recommendation to do the 180 on her thread. How does she know that she should not take up that advice if the disadvantages are not raised ON HER THREAD?

In an deal situation, there would be no arguments on threads - but in an ideal situation, people would post only MB advice to posters in crisis, here on this MB forum.

I think that when unwise advice has been given on a thread it must be corrected ON THE THREAD, and that is what I shall do.

Methinks this is just a "WAH WAH conversation not going the way I want so it's OVER!!!" thing as far as 180 approval goes.

Ican, you should continue to do Plan A, the MB way for maybe a week or two. Then you could go into plan B. Even IF the affair has ended, there are times when DrH suggests Plan B for people who have no active affair to deal with.

As Sugarcane said, you need to look into what you need to do to prepare for Plan B.

Do you need any help with it?

I'm hoping I can keep doing plan A until the new year. I've been planning on what to do for plan B. I asked a mutual friend to be an intermediary if it comes to it. I don't know how to work out visits with the kids and I don't know where WH would live, but that's not my fault. I'm not sure what else I would need to do for plan B.

A reminder to posters to stick to Marriage Builders if you are going to post to newcomers. Please refrain from posting otherwise.

Our policy is...

Marriage Builders Policy on other Marriage Books and Programs

This announcement is to clarify our policy about the discussion of other marriage books and programs on our forum. Such discussion is acceptable, except on the threads of those seeking help for their marriages. Offering alternative methods to those in need promises to confuse and discourage them, often leading to unnecessary debates. Posters attempting to help should not be put in the position of having to debate basic principles. That is not helpful to anyone, most especially the poster in need.

This is a large board and not every single post is read by the moderating volunteers. If the moderators are not alerted to a specific post mentioning non-mb material it could likely remain. This is not an indication that other times the same material won't be edited nor is it any indication that some posters can say certain things and others can't. Further, sometimes non-MB material and/or links MAY remain on the boards because the specific moderator(s) that read it didn't feel it was a distraction, or they may have even felt it was relevant and helpful. This is within Moderator discretion. Again, MB is about saving and restoring love in as many marriages as possible utilizing the MB principles and processes.

If you want to have such discussions, please feel free to start up a thread in the Other Topics forum. We ask that you do not post links out of respect for our forum host.

Any questions, please feel free to email me.

Thank you,

JustUss
announcements section

If you do a great Plan A, you should actually try to do Plan B BEFORE the new year. Does your IM know what she would need to do for you? Does she understand that she would need to be able to filter all of the unnecessary babble that your WH will throw into any communications? How old are your children? As far as where WH would live, that is HIS problem. If he decided that he was going to D you, he would need to find a place to live on his own. You need to step back from helping him as that is some ways that you meet his ENs.

******EDIT******

But how many marriages has it saved?

Did it save your marriage?