thanks again...

How convenient for them that she is still in their camp.

Your W needs to hire her own attorney.

THG, I agree with Delta. They are running scared and are trying to keep her on board because they know she will have a great case for sexual harassment. I am also concerned about what they will try to do to you for busting the OM.

Your wife could easily get a sweet package under these conditions, I suspect. If you had an attorney, he could negotiate this for her. You have them by the short and curlies, you just have to twist.

What Mel said, THG. Regardless of any relief you feel right now, mistrust will return to you in spades will the dust settles and everyone gets back to business. There they'll be, still working together with all of the emotional crap intact.

You've done a fantastic job so far. I've got to tell you, we normally really have to push betrayeds to expose. You accepted the idea and ran with it. Look at the great response you've gotten so far!

You have slammed the lid down on the coffin of the affair. But it won't be killed until you nail down the lid. That's only going to happen if when she leaves that job.

Personal voucher: my FWH's OW quit her job after exposure. (At her BH's demand.) H agrees now that there would have been no way that they could have continued to work together.

My wife was a consulting adult in the relationship. They have not fired her, in fact they encouraged her to come back to work today. How do I get a lawyer when she has no interest.

I am confused as to the next step here. I keep pushing and it drives her back to the affair partner, who is seen as helping her keep his job.

Do I hire a lawyer, my wife moves out and then I make sure the 'investigation' uncovers that they scheduled false corporate meetings and went together to is camper to have sex?

Help with next steps...

Have to get OMW on board with NC. If WW was to get a lawyer and threaten a SH law suit she would have them over a barrel.

Never going to happen with WW in love with OM.

Didn't OM dad own the compamy OM runs it. All OM dad and son are going to do is take action to keep WW from sueing them. They won't fire WW, WW gets mad sues them.
The OM won't end the affair, dumped WW gets made sues them.

Working there 24 years makes me think this affair has gone on a very long time.

Again point out to the OMW how affairs continue without NC.

Hi there,
I hope you are feeling somewhat better, I think you did a great job exposing the affair..I think you might want to talk to the OM's wife and see what their conversation was about..........
Keep each other informed......
I would then talk to your wife and tell her very simply that she needs to quit her job if she wants to stay in the marriage, and then prepare yourself for her to leave......
She should be the one leaving not you, she needs to feel what her decisions feel like. I'm sure if the OM is working things out with his wife it won't take long before he dumps your wife......then where will she be...........
Even if she goes don't worry it usually takes a bit of time for a wayward to come to their senses, anything can be reversed at any time remember that......
She is angry right now with you, just stay calm when you speak to her, be loving and caring........Tell her you can forgive her if she choses the marriage and a better marriage together...........
I would go to the bank, talk to a lawyer and make sure I was protected and she understands you are serious about calling it quits if she doesn't stop all contact with the OM(work)
Then sit back and let her live with the guilt, embarrassment and probably the dumping from the OM. Be there for her, be caring, let your home become the safe haven for her..........She will be feeling the brunt of her decision from everyone and every where she goes now.........let that happen, it's a good thing, it will force her to re-evaluate the whole situations the pros and cons........
My guess is she won't go it alone, the OM won't leave his family for her..........
You and your life together will become the place she feels the safest.
It all takes time..........right now the plan is to stop all contact.......and being the man she fell in love with. Loving but firm.......

Oh no, pushing will disrupt the affair, not your marriage. Go hire a lawyer and ask him how to get your wife out of there in the best way. Of course they are encouraging her to come back to work. They want to keep her happy so she doesn't sue. Plus the OM wants to keep her around for nooners.

You keep pushing until she leaves that job.


In fact, you should be telling her this will be the RESULT if she doesn't leave that job. Let her know this will lead to divorce and tell her you will be filing on grounds of adultery and subpeonaing the OM to give testimony under oath. You need to let her know in NO uncertain terms that there will not be a minutes peace until she leaves that job.

That was my first thought was to call the affair partners wife (OMW - i think) and

My WW told me yesterday that I need to stop contacting them and let them reconcile. So when I contact her again, it will light the fuse all over again. I will be the bad guy and she will blame me for breaking us up. I couldn't just leave it alone.

If she threatens to leave, tell her that needs to happen if she won't leave her job.

I betcha the OMW is fit to be tied about her continued employment there.

Thats ok! Your wife will think you are a bad guy if you interfere with the affair. That is good! Just focus on doing what is RIGHT and don't worry about what your wife says.

If your marriage breaks up it will be because of her adultery, not because of your attempts to stop it. So what if the guilty party blames you!!?? Surely you can see through that?

The fact that they scheduled false meetings won't go too far in this case. This isn't a huge corporation. It's a small, family-owned business, right? There is no Board of Directors, no stock holders, correct? So there's really no one they have to worry about as far as scrutiny or oversight goes. The only thing that investigation confirmed was that WW's participation was consensual.

One thing they certainly didn't mention to her: it doesn't matter if it was consensual. She can still file suit unless they asked her to sign something to hold them harmless. That would eliminate a suit against the company. They probably also didn't tell her that she still retains the right to file a civil suit. So of COURSE they're going to allow her to keep her job! She's got them over the barrel, and they're smart enough to let her think they're doing HER a favor.

And another thing: if there are other employees in the company, those employees can file sexual harassment suits based on the affair, claiming your WW received special treatment, or the workplace was hostile because of the affair.

The attorneys know this. They don't want anyone else to know this, though. Especially their other employees.

They have done damage control and are planning to sweep this under the rug as quickly as possible.

Their hands are somewhat tied as far as easing your WW out the door. They know that she could definitely file at that point.

You have no grounds to hire a lawyer to go in there. He'd never get past the front door. Skip that idea. The only person who has grounds is your WW, and she's obviously not going to do that.

So. What to do.

I would suggest that you let OMW know that WW remains on the job and that it is a clear and immediate danger to both of your M's.

I would suggest that you be ready to break the deal with your WW. Either the job goes, or you go.

It IS that important.

This makes me suspect they have LIED to the OMW and told her that your WW has left the company. There is no other reason for her to try and manipulate you into not calling her. They don't want you to compare notes with the OMW. I would call her and tell her everything today so you are on the same page.

I was with you until we got to this part. He needs to hire a lawyer to a) protect himself because he has been threatened and b) to tell him and his wife what her legal options are about getting out of there with a package. The lawyer can give him options that he can take back to her. THG can use this intel to persuade his wife to get out of there. Then the atty can negotiate a nice fat severance package for WW.

And also, the attorney can tell him his rights if she won't quit and this goes to divorce.

I was talking about filing a sexual harassment suit. He can't file a suit against the company on his own behalf since he's not the one who was 'sexually harassed'. Sorry, I wasn't clear.

This place is awesome, thank you for the support and guidance... Is this heaven... nope Iowa

Gotcha! Of course you are right, HE cannot file a sexual harassment lawsuit. But he can find out his wife's rights. As I see it, she has them by short and curlies and could walk away with a nice fat severance if he applied a little pressure. I bet they are crapping all over themselves!

But I think they have laid some crap on the OMW to keep her quiet so he needs to get in touch with her TODAY and compare notes. There is no telling what story they have told her.

Yes, this is a small business, but it does have a Board of Directors... Convienence Store(s).