I don't believe that she would want to end this now as you say. I believe she would want to try and work through things. But I am also not ready to end this now, nor do I believe she is. I want us both to be in a better place financially and personally before it ever comes to that. In the mean time, I do want to try and make our marriage as happy and meaningful as it can be until then.
The other decision is still out there on how much we actually work to have children. We both want kids, she wants them now, I am not sure because of all this and I want things to be better financially for it as well. Though we are not getting any younger.

Again, I said, I am not ready at this point to make that type of decision.

So, are you saying that you may actually be willing to commit to working on improving your marriage and developing a loving, mutually-fulfilling relationship with your wife that can last a lifetime?

I honestly do not know that it could be mutually fulfilling.

But physical attractiveness is not usually something that all of a sudden gets better with age. Even if all the other things change, that one does not usually change drastically for the better.

I guess that is one part of my previous posts you have not read. No, I did not have a time when I was physically attracted to my wife.

Yes, I have that friend who I talk to/complain to about the marriage and situations. She does the same with me, we are each others shoulder/ear to lean on when we need to vent and find comfort in someone else having similar problems. It helps us both to know that we are not alone in the way we are feeling.
Yes, that "OW" has been discussed here in the past as well. We had a period of time where we were not talking as much, and then got closer again this school year. That is when feelings began to grow (at no point before that did I ever have actual feelings for her). But after a while those feelings faded again. The intesity of the friendship tends to come and go, but I still believe it will never be anything more than that. It is simply nice to have someone who completely understands what you are going through and helps talk you through it and gives you ideas to work on it.

You said you wished that you had had sex more with your husband, I wish it were that easy. I don't see more sex with the spouse as a means to fixing our issues. She tries to, I don't want to that often. I wish I wanted to more often with her.

I guess that is one part of my previous posts you have not read. No, I did not have a time when I was physically attracted to my wife.
But I do have a desire to be with someone who I am physically attracted to.
We are both around 30 years old. But no, I do not consider the idea of her becoming a whole lot more attractive as she gets older, I just don't see that happening. If she lost some weight it would help, but overall attractiveness, no.

I don't see more sex with the spouse as a means to fixing our issues. She tries to, I don't want to that often. I wish I wanted to more often with her.

But you won't change. It is more important to you to justify your continuing animosity toward your wife than to make changes that would allow you to find happiness.

All of this is moot since he is still involved in an EA with his female coworker.

I don't believe that she would want to end this now as you say. I believe she would want to try and work through things. But I am also not ready to end this now, nor do I believe she is. I want us both to be in a better place financially and personally before it ever comes to that. In the mean time, I do want to try and make our marriage as happy and meaningful as it can be until then.
The other decision is still out there on how much we actually work to have children. We both want kids, she wants them now, I am not sure because of all this and I want things to be better financially for it as well. Though we are not getting any younger.