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MelodyLane --> Thank you for the telephone coaching information. While this forum has been extremely helpful, I think it is time to discuss this in more detail with someone. I agree 100%. I think the benefit for you is that the counselor can motivate your wife to leave the job and commit to the marriage. They can persuade her to get on board.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks again MelodyLane and everyone I appreciate the support. I have a call scheduled with Dr. Harley tomorrow.
It is a suffering we must all bear. Strong efforts to prevent it from happening again. The opposite of covering up is uncovering or disclosing - The Pope
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Thanks again MelodyLane and everyone I appreciate the support. I have a call scheduled with Dr. Harley tomorrow. That is great!! You are a real trooper, THG, and I know you will do just great..
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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THG, IN ADDITION to the telephone coaching, you might also try Marriage Builders Radio You get to talk directly to Dr Harley (he's magnificent!) and you get a free Marriage Builders book sent to you for calling. Again, you don't HAVE to give your "real" name on the radio. Great programs! You can listen to them here on this site also... Marriage Builders Radio Archive There's another thread with info on the MB Radio on the Announcment Forum. Want Dr Harley's Advice? MB Radio! Check it out!!
Last edited by Nerlycrzy; 12/07/10 10:49 AM. Reason: add links
Dday- Feb 1998
Recovered!!
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Keep in mind, that even though she might not be in an active affair she will remain in the fog every day she sees him, which precludes her from ever recovering the marriage. yes, yes, yes Reread this 1,000 times if you must, THG!
FBW in recovery
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Time to go get a lawyer file a sex harassment suit. Good shot the Co. will offer a severance package to make this go away. I've got no quarrel with the rest of your post, road, but remember: THG can't file a sexual harassment lawsuit. WW has to. I don't think she intends to do that. Not for a minute. Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. I know, and meant that being WW is so worried about money her BH should just say time to lawyer up and sue.
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A previous poster stated that separation is required to create castle walls to protect myself. I think you may have misread the Boundaries post. The boundary itself creates the castle wall, whether you are separated or not. That's why boundaries are cool. And I am also very glad that you will be calling the Harleys. I think you will get terrific help and support from them.
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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[quote=maritalbliss] [quote]
Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. It is, or did you mean it isn't?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Put a hidden GPS on her car. Sorry for TJ..... Pepperband, I would also like to hide a GPS but don't know where to start. I want one that just records so I can look at it. All I have found are expensive ones that you need to buy a plan for. I have to be careful about leaving a credit card trail. Any suggestions for original poster and myself?
BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
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Thg12,
You have made the right move by calling the Harley's hopefully you can get your wife to talk to Dr. Harley as well...........remember it all takes time, you have a long way to go...........this is a tough journey, no doubt.............
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. I know, and meant that being WW is so worried about money her BH should just say time to lawyer up and sue. Oh, gotcha - that would be a great thing, if WW would do it. I'll bet they would come up with a nice severance package for her.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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[quote=TheRoad][quote=maritalbliss] Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. It is, or did you mean it isn't? Why are you picking on me? 
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Sorry, Road. I didn't mean to pick on you. I'm sorry if I caused any offence.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Theroad, I didn't think she was picking on you and I wanted to ask the same question. The context of that statement looks like it was intended to say English is NOT my first language but you left out a word. That is why she asked. Yet, it seems to me that English is your first language, which is why your comment surprised me.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Before I chime in, here's what you originally said: Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. At the time, I thought you were being sarcastic with me. I just chose to ignore the sarcasm. Sometimes it's hard to emote on a bulletin board. Maybe if you'd used a smiley it would have diluted what appeared to be a harsh comment?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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ahhhhh, thanks for explaining!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Before I chime in, here's what you originally said: Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. At the time, I thought you were being sarcastic with me. I just chose to ignore the sarcasm. Sometimes it's hard to emote on a bulletin board. Maybe if you'd used a smiley it would have diluted what appeared to be a harsh comment? I thought it was a humorous sarcastic comment about what a terrible language English is. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Before I chime in, here's what you originally said: Sorry if my writting was not clear. English is my first language. At the time, I thought you were being sarcastic with me. I just chose to ignore the sarcasm. Sometimes it's hard to emote on a bulletin board. Maybe if you'd used a smiley it would have diluted what appeared to be a harsh comment? I thought it was a humorous sarcastic comment about what a terrible language English is. I'm not smart enough to be humorous and sarcastic in the same sentence.
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