You can, just can't get the same financial stability and everyday assistance with what has to be done in life.

To support this assertion, there are 778 posts on your thread now and, as far as I can tell, you have not taken a single shred of the advice you have been given over the past several months. You still sound exactly the same as when you got here.

I think you were just in search of a new hobby when you happened across this forum and though, what the heck, I don't have anything better to do. I think I'll start an argument with a bunch of people I don't know. Might be fun.

Do you think your wife married you so you could do her dishes?

Contrary to what you think, I do want to solve my problems. I want to make life easier.

Then get a better paying job, support yourself, and hire a maid. Problem solved.

Show me one shred of evidence that would support this.

Go ahead, name one piece of advice you have actually taken to improve your situation.

Well, over the summer I did take advice, I made an effort to spend more UA time with my wife. I did not know about that concept specifically and its importance before that. I do see it now. Even though we do not have a lot of time to spend together now, I do try and take advantage of the moments we have.

I have attempted multiple times to communicate about each others needs with my wife. It just has not been as succesful as I would like yet.

What did you do during UA time?

How much UA time do you have now?

Have you given your wife a copy of HNHN yet?

We talk, we watch tv, sometimes we play games, listen to music together, occasionally read together. Significantly making an effort to spend more time doing things in the same room together. In the past we would spend much of our time home in seperate parts of the house.

Right now, during the week we tend to spend maybe 3 hours of UA time together. On the weekend we add to that some, but it does not total up to 15 right now.

Writer, he cant give his wife a copy of HNHN.....He doesnt want her to know about this place... Shhhhhhhhh, its a secret.

You have no kids. Even if both of you work full time, you should have no problem finding a minimum of 15 hours UA time a week if you made it a priority.

And watching TV doesn't count.

You need to be fulfilling the 4 intimate EN's of Conversation, Affection, Sexual Fulfillment, and Recreational Companionship.

Just being in the same room together isn't enough.

Being in the same room watching tv together is better than what we were doing. I understand what is stated as ideal, but better is a step in the right direction.
When I say we we spend about 3(maybe 4 or 5 if I am miscalculating) hours of UA time during the week, that is about the time we are actually home together and awake in the evenings. Our schedules are such right now that they just do not match up to have free time during the week very often. I would like it if they did more, but I am not in complete control of that.
As for the tv not counting, I was told over the summer that again, it is better than not spending the time together at all.

We do talk and show affection when we are together, even in the short periods of time. SF and RC, not very often. SF has become a monthly thing, and RC for me, does not happen really at all. During this work season I do not have any real recreational activities that I take the time or energy to partake in.

Well it certainly wasn't so he would do her laundry! That has been established. He is there to pay rent. She covers utilities. Keep up!

Tom, you're a teacher. What does your wife do that is such an opposite to your schedule that you only have a few minutes a day together? Dance?

She has a lot of extra activities outside of work that she does. She enjoys those activities, they make her happy, but they do keep her very busy.

Teeheehee....This is fun.

Well atleast CW has the financial aspects down.

Okay, so it ISN'T a priority because you are choosing not to make it one. Choices have consequences. You can choose your actions, but you can't choose the consequences. If you won't make time for your spouse meeting those 4 intimate EN's, then maintaining (or recreating in your case) that feeling of being "in love" won't happen.

Really, is so hard to throw in a load of laundry? I never look at who's clothes I'm washing. I just go to the laundry hamper, separate the whites and darks, and throw the darn things in the machine.

It isn't rocket science.

SF and RC take time, energy, and desire. If you don't have very much of those 3, especially the time and energy, Kinda hard to do them.