Great advice from tully! Keep the pressure up, vivi!

ITA x1000000000000000

Pressure UP.

If you have access to his phone

BLOCK HER NUMBER.

You may also be able to do this by calling the phone provider.



Or,

wouldn't it be just horrible if that phone fell in the toilet?




or a sink of soapy water

or a pool

or a cup of coffee


or you just pi$$ed on it?



Ooops. That's The Bus being mean.


Don't REALLY pee on it. Just let him THINK you did.



SB

Oh yes they are feeling the heat. This evening she past by our house and I was outside by my WH truck We looked at each other and she stopped and ask if she could talk to me. I told her I dont have anything to say to you. Now go home before I call your dad. Silly child I dont have time for mess. My WH tells me I should let her talk and thats only fair. I ask him was it fair for u two to cheat on me while I took care of those babies. was it fair I allowed her to use my car to go to Dr. Appt. was it fair u got an STD from her and could have given it me (i got tested--negative thank god) was it fair this OW stayed in my house and I fed her and her kids, was it fair to betray me like this. Now What? He put his head down and left the room. As you guys see I am no longer having it

Right now I am praying for self-control. Because these two are getting on my nerves. He just left to go running. He came in and changed his clothes. Funny how she came home about the same time and they work on the opposite side of town.

He runs at the high school down the street from us. Our grandson goes to that school. I need to go to that school right now and I was thinking of telling her dad but I dont want to look silly if she is not there with my WH

I would call her dad. But viva, you have to get out of there. This OW is brazen and flagrant. So is your H. This is so cruel and abusive that it is shocking. Having them rub their filthy affair in your nose and pretend like nothing is happening is going to tear you down quick.

Yes this really getting to me. Her niece told me that the OW to her that they are going to deny to the end and that my WH told her he has me n check and he can make me believe anything. Y es I called him on that and of course he said he didnt say that about his wife. My good this man is over 30 years older thwn this girl---he is popping Levitra to keep up with this girl. He just text me asking why am I acting so disqusted with him tonight. He said I gave him such a dirty look this evening that he huury up and got out of the house. I told him that is such load of mess and go tell to someone who belives him. I am so tired right now that i just want to get n my car and drive but I am too upset right now and its not a good ideal for me to be on the road rt now.

Be strong and breathe. Let's hope you can move soon. There needs to be NC and right away.

A grown man. <shakes my head> Had it been my daughter there might have been an old style a-whipping going on at some point. I'm surprised the BF didn't already do it too. But that's just me.

Keep following the vets advice here and the MB principles. Your WH is deep in fog right now and hopefully he wakes up before it's way too late.

Good Luck and God Bless and no I'm not that violent :-)

That is why MB has the Plan A and Plan B. I am afraid that if you continue to plan A (with this ridiculous ammount of denial/lies going on) that your love bank is going to be destroyed at a fantastic rate.

Dr. H warns that once the love banks are draied too low, you may not be able to recoup.

Stay strong, this is still just beginning (and the end of this story has not been written)

MelodyLane, I have a question about this. Would you advise vivi to move out of the house, even without her H?

This is what I would do, but on the other hand, it seems to me like this would be making it too easy for H and OW to have sex in that house, spend time together, etc.

I think what ML is saying is that the proximity of the OW, her WH and the abusive gaslighting that is going on it toxic to viv's emotional health.

Yes, I do think she should move out of the house without him - they can't stay there. They are going to have to move anyway, so she needs to just GO and he can follow her. It is going to be too much for her to be around this. They are already having sex and seeing each other all day long so her staying there is not going to change that. But having her nose rubbed in the affair every day is going to take her out fast.

If I were her, I would be renting a new house now and staying in a hotel for the time being.

Of course; we can all see that.

There's a lot of discussion on this forum about when to move out and when not to move out of the marital home, and some of the advice seems counterintuitive. That's all.

If I were in vivi's shoes, I'd already be moved out and be on Plan FU until my H came crawling on his hands and knees begging for my forgiveness and told me he set up a new home for us somewhere else. But that's not a solid and proven MB plan, either.

Thanks for clarifying, ML.

Delta, usually it is a bad idea to move out of your home and is not recommended. But in situations where the OP lives right there, Dr Harley has told the BS to pack up and get out of there and just hope the WS follows because the ONLY hope is getting away from the OP. It is doubly traumatic when you can't even escape the affair in your own home.

Typically, when the BS leaves, the WS does bring the OP into the home. But the ramifications are going to be far worse for vivi if she doesn't leave.

This is good information.

vivi, what do you think about this?

How about packing up your things today and moving somewhere else?

Could you stay with a friend or family member until you secure a new place of your own?

Very important to remember: You can continue a SHORT Plan A from under another roof. A SHORT Plan A after you have moved out will be much easier than the strain of having to be on your best behavior 24/7 while the OW drives past your house.

Once you're out, you can have several positive interactions a day with WS, and have the rest of the time to recuperate from what you've already gone through.

It will also make it much easier to go to Plan B SHORTly.

I believe u guys are right about me leaving. Last night we had a bad argument. I got out of bed and changed into my clothes, he ask me where I was going and I told him I couldnt into our home tonight and that I need to leave for the night. WH told me I was too upset to leave and I wasnt going anywhere. He took me keys and hid them from me. I am like what do u want from me. You are still seeing the OW and I will no longer be disrespected. Do u knowhe had the OW come to the house to try to tell that there are no having affair and to please believe her She was crying so hard (And the Oscar goes to____) I told he had 5 seconds to get that ho out of my house. He told her to go. This morning I am sitting at the table not knowing what to do. I am so stressed out but I not back down on my position with this mess. Before he left for work he told that I need to get some mental help. OW sister text me last night and told me OW and my WH were seen by her boyfriend n wal mart parking lot she was standing by his truck and my WH slapped her butt and gave her some money. You guys I really need your help

Get out. Today.

Be gone before he gets home from work. Where could you go and stay for a while as you look for somewhere more permanent? Your temporary place could be in town there, if absolutely necessary, but for your rental or whatever, I would not consider anyplace unless it was at least several hours away.

You'll go crazy if you stay in that madhouse.

I told alot of people about their affair. I am going to show her dad the letter, naked pics and the ex-boyfriend is going to let him listen to the voicemail. Things has just gotten worse u guys. My WH left his little minicam here and of course I look through it and I dropped it so fast that i couldnt finish looking at it. These fools have mad a tape of them havin sex u guys I couldnt finish looking at but i looked at the date and it was done on 10/24/10 If I am rambling I am sorry (in complete shock right now) I cant handle this right now How nasty is that