Markos, what is the status of your washer? Is it just the washer and how soon can you get it fixed? What kind of money do they want to do it?

Wal-Mart, and First Post?

You're right, I'm clueless.

But if Prisca won't spend UA time with him unless and until DS is satisfied, then you have a DS issue. They could try to brainstorm activities for UA time that are so pleasurable for Prisca that she is enthusiastic about doing them even if they have fallen behind on DS. But we have not yet heard from her (or Markos) that such activities exist.

What we have heard is that they were getting along well until the gym time started interfering with the DS time. Seems that the gym time is not sufficiently pleasurable that Prisca is enthusiastic about going to the gym if it interferes with DS. Maybe another activity would do it for her. Something to explore with their coach, I imagine.

I agree on that and we found that at the gym we weren't getting UA time other than a couple minutes on a bike. And it took a ton of time out of the house. So we pushed an extra date night, get more UA time, and more DS time for each other.... Win/Win...

BUBBLES.... ROTFLMAO.....

Thats a good point about the gym. Its not really UA time.

And hold, sure DS is important because it irritates her if its not done, but DS makes very little lovebank deposits and because of that, can't be used as a replacement for UA time. It won't work.

Markos, I am really surprised they agreed to include watching TV. I mean, you can include anything you want, but how does watching the boob tube achieve the objective?

On the FP.... I just got snipped and clipped a couple months back. 10 minutes of moderate discomfort and 2 days of slight discomfort leads to mucho happy happy time. And beats any of the alternatives....lol....

One would think, right.... But actually, we DVR American Idol and other singing shows. We watch them together all snuggly. 2 minutes of singing followed by 2 minutes of conversation about the performance followed by more nuggles.... Seams pretty UA to us....lol....

I think it's been just about the best UA time we've had. We're not off by ourselves exercising; we are together, ignoring anyone else in the gym, talking, focusing on each other.

Shortly before we purchased the membership I heard Dr. Harley say on the radio that exercising together was one of the best things you can do. It's recreational companionship, you are releasing positive hormones from the exercise that become associated with your partner, you're working on physical attractiveness, ...


She says it makes a deposit for her. I think it makes a bit of one for me as well when we are being affectionate with each other.

Dr. Harley's comment about movies in HNHN or FiLSiL was "And watching a movie together doesn't count, unless you are like the couple that sat in front of me at the movies last week." Sometimes we are like that couple.

It's just the washer, and in another 2-4 weeks we can probably get a new one or get it repaired.

Thank you for spelling it out for me.

Yes, understood. Simply saying that if she won't spend UA or RC time unless and until the DS has reached a satisfactory level, then he needs to address DS. Of course, it would be better if we could get her to see the importance of UA time, relax on the DS a little, and do the UA and RC stuff even when the DS is slcking a little. That is for us to direct at Prisca. But until she sees the light, we have to deal with what Markos can do about it. Him harping that UA time is more important than DS time probably won't get either done. Seems to me the UA message needs to come from their coach, not from Markos.

Trust me, no one understands the importance of the 4 intimate ENs, or their absence, more poignantly then me. Mrs. Hold spent 2 years fighting with our coach that her efforts in other areas should "make up" for the lack of UA time or the absence of SF. I am well aware that FC and DS do not make up for no UA. I sincerely want Markos and Prisca to get their UA time. I'm just not sure that telling Prisca "you have to" is going to make it happen. That is almost certainly my personal experience speaking. I understand that when Dr. Harley says "you must if you want a successful marriage", some people actually listen to him!

Agree. And that was the point I tried to make. There are no MUSTS here. None of us have to do any of this. There are only "if you want this result, here is HOW you do it."

Hello Markos,

I'm sorry you and Prisca are struggling so much right now.

You are correct in your statement about the ability to have UA time regardless of the number of children. Having YOUNG children makes it more challenging because you can't just walk out the door and go out. It takes some planning. But it doesn't matter if it is 1 young child or 8. It's the AGE not how many. Having a large family ourselves, I would say that it was no more challenging to have UA time with 2 kids than with 5.

I have some questions I would like to ask Prisca. Does she have her own thread where she is discussing this? If not, would she be willing to email me (she can use the email you have for Papabear)? If she would prefer to discuss this without the added critiquing of family size this board often likes to do, I would be happy to email with her.

Without having more information from her, I would only be speculating about why she's reacting to the idea of UA time. I'd much rather ask her some questions first.

FP = Family Planning???

WTH?


Why would you think that this couple didn't plan their family?

I will defer to your expertise in this area....because I have an only...but wow...how can it not matter.


Btw, I have nothing negative to say about their family size. Only seems that Prisca is having a difficult time and maybe it is the load she is under with so many children so young.

I don't know.

Possibly because they keep having children when they do not have even the smallest enough money to do a washing machine repair.

Kids are not inexpensive.

I assumed that they would have planned the finances when planning children. Or else they do not plan the number of children. Perhaps in the future they can plan both thier finances and the number of children they are going to have!

Bubbles someone mentioned earlier in the thread that the washing machine has only recently broken and they will get it repaired or replaced soon.

Finances are never perfect and nothing is guaranteed. I think they are feeding their chidren and paying their bills.

It doesn't matter other than the reasons SMB gave. The goal is still the same whether it is one child or 15. The best thing for the children is to have 2 parents in love. That is their security. It is in their best interest for their parents to put their marriage FIRST. If they don't, they might not have a marriage.

****************EDIT******************

Marcos, please get the washing machine fixed this week. This alone could give your wife hours and hours of extra time. And she would have less stress also.