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I am doing ok. We have put the house up for sale. We were going to do a short sale but changed our minds. I am still staying with my DD for now. Still n plan A but if he doesn't come to his senses, will be going to plan B. I dont have time for games. Thank u for your concern
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Hey everyone I am still waiting for WS to come around. He did text me the other day saying maybe we need some professional help in our marriage saying he wants our relationship to work again and that he broke the trust we once had (how about that) He wants me to fall n love with him again. As u guys know I love my WS very much and its to take some time for me to trust this man again. The thing is WS wants me to forgive OW too and to rebuild that relationship so that the kids can come back. Has he lost his Rabbit Mind once again. Why n the heck would I want to talk this Ho and for what reason. See what I mean by game playing. When I think he is coming around, he throws me for a loop.
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Oh WS has one more week before I go to plan B. Enough already!!!!
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Keep on track , ensure he knows your terms for the return to the marriage and that the OW is never going to be part of your life again nor your husbands should he return to the marriage.
He is in the fog and as he is a man a bit of robust direct talking is required, the first being he does not set he terms nor does he imply in any way you are at fault for the affair.
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Keep on track , ensure he knows your terms for the return to the marriage and that the OW is never going to be part of your life again nor your husbands should he return to the marriage.
He is in the fog and as he is a man a bit of robust direct talking is required, the first being
he does not set he terms nor does he imply in any way you are at fault for the affair.
Vivi ~
It appears that your WH is realizing that skanky-ho may be fallible after all!
What?!? Skanky-ho isn't meeting ALL of his EN's?!?
Hmmmmmmmmmm ~
His continual attempts @ manipulating/controlling YOU is way above the height of arrogance!
It is very obvious that he is used to getting what "HE" wants, when "HE" wants, how "HE" wants, with whom "HE" wants, where "HE" wants!
I am totally amazed that you are willing to put up with him for one more second ~ Let alone one more day, week, month, etc.
I hope you really mean what you say about Plan B!
I hope Plan B really is imminent!
Praying for you, girl!
Hugs ~ 
"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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This is a very critical juncture of your Plan A. Most BS's avail themselves of this board even more heavily during the final stages. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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My reply to your WH:
We could repair this marriage. There is a way.
I don't need to fall back in love with you because I have never fallen out of love with you. I have loved you in spite of your affair, even though I can't explain why. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and plan on loving you tomorrow.
I want our marriage to work. The word in that sentence that is important is "WORK". You have work to do, and I have work to do. Together, our marriage CAN work. In order for that to happen, you must understand that the OW must never be a part of our lives again. Never. It just doesn't work that way.
Your plan seems to include having TWO women in this marriage. MY PLAN IS FOR YOUR OTHER WOMAN TO BE GONE FOREVER. It can be no other way for me. It is, of course, your choice - to continue your affair or return to the marriage and never contact your affair partner again. It was your choice to have the affair, it is your choice to continue or stop. I pray for you to choose to stop and return to the marriage. We could work on the marriage and make it better than before, if you choose this.
You ask me to forgive her? WH, I am working on forgiving YOU - the step you ask for is long down the path of work I have to do, if I can ever even get there.
Our marriage comes first, before everything else. When you are ready to take that step, and protect me above everyone and everything, let me know. I am here and waiting.
Last edited by schoolbus; 01/25/11 06:16 PM.
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Vivi, SB gave you some excellent advice. Update please?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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SB Thank you for the wonderful advice. My WS has come to terms with the fact that I am not falling for his lies and when I said that no contact with OW I mean it. He wants to start looking for a new place to stay. Our house is on the market and we were going to do a short sale and some people on this board said it wasnt a good ideal so I checked into it (they were right)I told WS in order for our marriage to work he needs to leave his baggage behind him and concentrate on our life together from now on. This process is so hard but I believe if you really want something you have to work at it. I am still staying with my DD. WS has to prove to me that he is serious about repairing r marriage. Does the hurt ever go away?
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I am so tired of living this way but I know I need to stand firm on this with WS. He finally stop saying the A was my fault. He told me last week that he was at fault given the fact he knew that OW had a crush on him and he jumped on it and ran with it He told me he is so sorry that he betrayed like this and he would like to make up on this pain he caused me. WS said he acted like a spoiled brat and that he would so anything to make it up to me. I told him that i want to see actions and not words Thanks to everyone on this board for thier advice and kindess during this diffcult time in my life. I am sure I will need your advice during this process also
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Vivi, has he agreed to NC? That's the first action he needs to take.
Don't pray for God to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move your feet
Me BH 55, WW 40, M 12 yrs, 3 Boys 19, 10 & 8.
Separated Sept 08
DDay Dec 08
Plan A Mar 09
Plan B 16 Nov 09
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Till NC is in place, all you have is a WS making promises. Guess how much that's worth.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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