agree with ML -- your time would be better spent packing his things and changing the locks.

Unless you don't have proof that would stand up in Divorce court.

CAtchhim, do you have evidence of the affair that would stand up in court?

p.s. you don't have to have pictures of them in bed together. Circumstantial evidence is usually sufficient to file on grounds of adultery and subpoena all their email and cell phone records. Much can be undercovered in discovery and on the witness stand when they put the cheaters under oath and force them to testify about their affair.

ML - I know I am acting on emotion. I have acted logically all the time up until now and I am back in the same boat. I need to get this man out of my life and I want the pictures for divorce court to prove it. Also I want the mental pictures in my head. I don't need to see them in bed together, but at least see him at the hotel. I want him to see me and know that I know what he was doing and there will be NO denying or sweet talking me out of it this time. I have been a fool long enough.

No, you have not acted logically at all if you allow him to smooth talk you. You have not acted logically if you are in this mess again. You acted on pure emotion when you decided to stay in a marriage with a serial cheater.


If you were acting rationally and logically his denial would be meaningless. You don't need the admission of a liar to know truth. His word is worthless. And a person who is acting on reason and logic cannot be "sweet talked."

I agree with your reasons for wanting pictures for divorce court. You can follow them to the hotel and take pictures as they leave the desk. But that begs the question, what evidence do you have that they are meeting at this hotel tonight? If you have that evidence, then you have all you need and don't need to go through this.

edited to add: If I were in your shoes, I would show up too and raise holy hell.

Thank goodness! For a little while, I thought you were going all squishy-soft on me!

tl

I just don't see anything good coming from this, Catch.

ML - you are always the voice of reason and you made me laugh with your last comment. I have been a good wife, lover, friend and mother. I need final closure and and finally ready to raise some holy hell...but in a gentle lady-like manner!

Dress nicely and leave your pistol in the car, hon!

Have flawless make up and clean shoes, and make sure your mascara is waterproof! Do not shout or swear; you're a lady, remember.

I would listen to MelodyLane. She always seems to be spot on.

I too like to torture myself but I have finally realized that I need to stop renting space to WH in my head. Torturing myself only extends the rental agreement.

Do you really want to pay for longer?

CHITA,

Bravo for what you are doing, if my MIL had done it 50 years ago, my FIL, might have become an honest person, instead she let him go on and on and on. Now the accumulated weight of a wasted life is just another burden.

If you can get the other spouse or sig. other with you when you spring the trap.

Don't forget your movie camera, have your friend pose as a call girl and knock on the door. Room service "we have to check for bedbugs"

God Bless
Gamma

When is this all gunna happen? You said you know the date.

Today is the day. Turns out my girlfriend is not able to come so I have to go solo. The hotel is fairly big - nice one to boot. But I have the perfect costume to disguise myself. Tried it on in the middle of the night (not able to sleep) and I didn't even recognize myself.

Good idea about the waterproof mascara - got it last night. I have a hot dress picked out and I will look flawless. I know I am much more attractive than the OW (she looks trashy), not that it appears to matter. I know I will be upset/crying, but I will not resort to foul-language or nasty behavior. I have some things I will say, but will attempt to do so with a level of self-respect. Watch me fall apart and become this evil, vindictive woman. I will work hard to stay true to my behavior, but he will still know beyond a doubt the hurt and pain he has caused, and that I did not, and do not deserve this.

Call me insane...but I NEED to do this. In so many ways he has been a wonderful husband, friend and father. But I cannot continue to go on like this. He has been given too many chances and I should have taken a hard line a long time ago.

CatchHim,

CAREFUL!!

Don't do anything stupid enough to land in jail or get someone physically injured!

I did the same thing. Followed my H to her apt, waited til he went in and I knocked on the door. He ANSWERED the door & invited me in!

I just looked at both of them, shook my head and said,"Why? Why all the sleazy sneaking lies & deceit? This could have been so simple if you had just been honest." ...and walked out the door to my car.

I kept my dignity, my composure, my class and looked at them with disgust. I wanted to wipe that smug look off her face but resisted the urge.

You should have seen him scramble to get out the door and try to beat me home.."Wait! Let me explain,,it was a huge mistake!!"

He never saw her again.

Good luck, CatchHim!!! CAREFUL!

How did it go? Were you able to confront him and get pic/video?

Not to make lite of the situation but this seems like a season ending cliffhanger....

ykes I hope everything is ok you haven't posted since the day you were going to catch him in the act. Hope your doing ok.

Kind of makes you think that the police got involved in this one.