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Joined: Jan 2012
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Wow, GO. You and your wife are certainly a success story.
An affair is such a bad road to go down. Why anyone would choose to do that I don't know. It just snowballs. I see my hubby and I have a long way to go.
I came here less than a week after I physically cheated for the first time. I know I'm still messed up enough to think that it was better in my situation in that I didn't KEEP having a PA. The first time it became physical was also the last.
I'd like to thank you for posting on my thread and being the first one to actually get through to me.
Thank you again, and thank you both for sharing your story.
Sadly, it's truly experience that can speak to another in your shoes.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Virginia doesn't have a subway.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
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Virginia doesn't have a subway. We have the VRE. It is part of the DC metro line. So, yes and no... We "sorta" have a subway...
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
Virginia doesn't have a subway.
Yes, natives call it "the Metro", not "subway." But it's a train that goes underground; and I was born elsewhere, so I call it a subway. 
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 270
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GO,
My husband forwarded this to me this morning. I choked up reading it because I, like you, will never know the horrible pain that I caused my BS.
Working hard to make it better.
CT
Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 197
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This almost killed me. Thank you.
Anyone who is foggy, even in the slightest, needs to read this immediately.
Thank you.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 633
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GO,
I stumbled across this last night and could not stop reading it. GO, any time I see a post with your name on it I have to read it. Reading this really hit home, hard! Like many others before me this story both broke and touched my heart.
Thank you for sharing, caring, and representing a true FW. I strive to be like you and this post reminded me that I will make mistakes along the way but I have to pick myself up and learn from them. It also reminded me of how lucky I am that my H has chosen to try to heal with me.
Thank you!!!!!
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Hey GO, Hope you and the Ms' are doing well. I just wanted to stop in and tell you both to have a great day. 
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
Thanks so much for the check-in, HPB.
We are doing well indeed.
TWC doesn't post here anymore, and probably only checks in to keep tabs on my occasional ravings, if she checks in at all. (And that doesn't bother me, that she keeps mum, since I suppose that on our wedding day, sharing terribly-gained, insider knowledge of how to deal with an affair, however good that knowledge is, on an infidelity support website, probably wouldn't have been anywhere on her "Top 100" bucket-list of things she hoped to be doing at age 46.) We haven't discussed that, and probably haven't discussed anything at all having to do with the A, in around a year & a half, since around the time I started this thread. As I understand, that's altogether proper for the stage where we're at. It's not something I ever let myself forget for too long, on account of I still haven't gotten around to the idea that I have any standing to forgive myself for it, but it's way on the periphery of our lives & receding. Good riddance.
Despite our both having killer work hours, we're keeping up the UA time. It's actually easier to carve out than earlier-on in recovery, since her job is now 99% weekdays, instead of the old & unpredictable mix of days & nights. I've been able to keep my work-related travel down to 3 weeks per year or less. And we've been blessed with 2 great kids who are are pretty squared-away & mostly don't seem to require more than light touches on the rudder.
There's lots more I could report, all of it good, but it'll probably do us more good for me to get some of the family laundry out of the dryer & folded by the time she gets back from her 5k run. (She's taken up this running thing with a vengeance, and has got my A.S. emotional need all covered just fine, so yeah, I'd sure better go fold the towels already.)
Thanks again. Hoping you & SMB are also as well.
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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GloveOil,
This is the first time I have read this very moving thread. Congratulations on being able to recover your marriage. And thanks for all the great advice you've given me through my own ordeal.
TE
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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