I'm sorry, this talk of disguising stuff has me thinking about one guy during a New York City garbage strike, who to get rid of his garbage, gift-wrapped it and put it in his car...

Thieves got it all the time.

Thanks Neak.
Yesterday DD1's friend came home with her after school. She was spending the night so they could work on a project together. (Still haven't really gotten anywhere with it!) It wasn't too long before I discovered DD's friend H has a HUGE crush on DS2. It looks like he likes her too but it is more her than him. Lots of flirting going on between the 2 of them. It is actually cute to watch.

This morning I got up, had my coffee got some housework done and took a shower. I got dressed in a cute outfit so I would look nice when WH got here. I don't dress nice just for him but for me also. DD and her friend needed fabric paint and some other stuff for their DNA project. (I can't wait to see the finished project) WH had not arrived yet. I left to get gas and get the stuff they needed. As I was heading back WH texted me.
Hi I'm here-DS2 has a 100 temp, gave him Ibuprofen.
I got home 5 minutes later and he was still here. DS2 was laying on the couch in the family room and H was laying down next to him. (Humm..) WH and DD's were in the room also and they were all joking around. WH and I were talking about DS2 being sick. I said to H "I don't want to hear it if you get sick." WH laughed and said "I said the same thing." Later WH came up to me smirking and asked me what was up with them. I told him it has been going on from the moment she got here. We joked around a lot. WH mentioned that DD2 wanted to come back here to hang around with DD1 and her friend after she went with WH to check out the condo and have lunch. DD2 walked in right after he said that. I told DD2 that H was going to spend the night again so she will be here. Just go with Dad and have a good time. (He aint getting off that easy!) I noticed WH checking me out a few times. I had on a nice snug black shirt and nice jeans. I was doing dishes when he came in and said he was taking off. He came right over to give me a hug. I said something to the affect of my hands were dirty so I didn't want to get anything on his shirt. I hugged him with my arm. He rounded up DD2 as I washed and dried my hands and headed to the door. He was already 5 feet out the door and DD2 was just out the door when I called her back for a hug. As I was hugging her WH came back and gave me a big hug and there was a more obvious checking me out. Scan on the "girls" and right down to my belly.

Thanks for the idea!

WH came back here with DD around 7. We joked around and I caught WH checking things out.
I had all our boxes of pictures on the bed. I was going through them looking for pictures of the kids especially ones with WH and the kids. I am putting a scrap book together to give to him. I am going to put some pictures with me in it too. It will be something he can look at and reminisce when I go dark.
He came in when I was going through it and saw a picture of his old car by a couple of piles of pictures. He picked it up and smiled. He picked up one of the envelopes of pictures by the one of his car. He started looking through it and got excited because it was really old friends he hasn't seen in ages. Then I saw a little change in him like it hit him that he doesn't see those people anymore. Little does WH know all the other envelopes with that one are also his pictures. Not just pictures of his friends he misses but ones that he has cut out of his life for a good reason. I won't be there when he goes through them but I wish I was a fly on the wall! He also went through one of the envelopes on top of a container I had not gone through. He was smiling as he went through them. After he left I checked to see what they were. It was pictures of the 2 of us during the construction of our very first home. From sitting on the lot to moving in the first day.
We talked before he left. He gave me a big hug. I said "We're going to church at 10 tomorrow, then to the youth group Superbowl party. I know you are going to a Superbowl party so I guess I will talk to you on Monday." He mumbled something about how I know he likes to go to the 8.. I kind of tuned out the BS because I know he doesn't go to church. Then he was asking all kinds of questions about the youth group party. Finally he said "Is this something I would be aloud to go to?" I said "Sure!" This should be interesting...

I am still laughing about the New York guy. Neaksis said Monk should have tried that.

There are some beautiful Plan A moments going on here. Carry on as you are, while continuing to get ready for Plan B. It's not too early to start thinking about how very high you want to set the bar.

Neak, I still visualize me doing something like that to one of his boxes. I know when he takes them he won't go through them. He will be wondering for weeks where the rancid smell is coming from.
I have been thinking about Plan B and where the bar should be set. I've decided to go with Olympic poll vault. What do you think?

I got this text from WH.

Hi-I am sick this am. Head stuffed. Didn't make it to the 8am mass. I most likely wont stop by the youth group thing.

Poor thing is sick so he will miss the Superbowl party he had planned to go to.
Maybe I will text him back and say
WH, sorry you are so sick. I don't think it's a good idea to go to the party. Do you want to come lay on the couch here to watch the game? You can have home made soup instead of wings.

Actually I need to shorten the text. He knows I don't text well.

Sorry U R sick. Don't think the party is a good idea. Want to lay here and watch the game w/kids? Soup&Meds for game food.

The @#*& can opener? SERIOUSLY?!?!?!
Yes I sent him an e-mail. I told him I needed it this morning and looked everywhere. I asked him if he happened to have taken it. I'm betting he is going to say he took ONE of them. There is only one, the other one broke and I just bought that one not too long ago. I took this opportunity to address the knifes. I asked him to let me know what else he took so I don't find out when I need it and if there is anything else he wants to take please discuss it with me.
ARGH!

Told you it was Love Busting.

You need to get control of this. Nothing leaves the marital home. No TVs. Nothing. Only his clothes.

Do not be a doormat. Do it with Plan A.

Olympic pole vault = good

You do need to confront on the things he is taking. Say nicely, "No marital property leaves the home until the judge says it leaves the home." Don't argue or try to actually stop him, just verbally confront/acknowledge that what he is doing is not ok.

Whatever he takes, even if it's small like a can opener, document it.

I understand Clark_kent, even if I don't care if he takes it don't let him anyways. I am going to have a face to face talk with him the next time he is here.

WH better do some serious training then!

I get it. Saying this will feel weird to me. Not telling him not to take anything, just the wording. Does that make sense?

You decided you wanted to leave. The kids and I were not involved in your decision. We deserve to have our home remain the same way it was when you decided to leave. Other than your personal possessions, everything in this house is part of our home and will remain here.

Is that ok? If he says anything (and you know he will) I won't reply or if I do it will be short. I'm sorry your upset, would you like a cup of tea? I have been dying to use that one but an opportunity hasn't come up. Actually I did use it but it wasn't in the heat of the moment. It was a plan A icebreaker when he was PO'd.

Ok, I will start the list and if I find anything else I will add it to the list.
Good thing I am a better person or I would do something he wouldn't like with the can opener.

In looking around at other posts I saw someone list things to get done before plan B.
1. Separate funds. (I am opening a checking account this week with my mom on it) I have $ hidden in cash.
2. Tax documents (got all docs)
2. Title to the car. He is on the title. Do I have to wait to go to plan B or can I have that in process through my lawyer? I won't even say he would never do that to the kids because he just may.
Thoughts?

The only thing I would change in the way you rephrased that would be "the kids and I deserve". He couldn't give a rat's patootie what you and the kids deserve. I would use a word that carries implications for him, such as "illegal" or something similar.

No reason to wait for Plan B if the car title is the only obstacle. Your attorney can handle that one. Just be careful so he can't successfully sell it out from under you. (The Club was a very good idea.) Even if it gets changed in your favor down the road, that would be terribly inconvenient.

Sounds like you're getting pretty close.

Neak,
Thanks for the advice. Actually because he filed we are in a standing order.
In Florida divorce cases, a standing temporary domestic relations order applies. A standing order is an order permanently in place. Florida's domestic relations order applies to a variety of divorce issues, including child support, property, non-disparagement and physical contact.
I will talk to my lawyer about this today.

My parents are supposed to come in tomorrow night, YA!
As for the car, I will also bring this to the lawyers attention. The ONLY reason he would take it from me would be a vindictive one. He has the brand new car (and hefty car payment). My car is 12 years old, has over 150,000 miles and is in the later stages of life. Poor green monster! I am going to have my Dad look at it when he is here. There are a lot of things wrong with it that are annoying but too expensive to fix. They are mostly electrical and Dad is good at electrical things and although he hasn't done it in many years he has worked on a lot of cars.

Tonight I have to work on Plan B stuff. I have to get the letter finished and post it. I have to pick a day. I have to get all information about plan B to my IM.

Look what I found...

Alimony
While fault is not required to obtain a divorce in Florida, fault is examined when a court determines an alimony award. For example, if one spouse was an abuser or committed adultery, the court is permitted to consider those circumstances when awarding the victim spouse alimony. Additionally, if the spouse seeking alimony committed adultery, the court may decide not to award her alimony at all.

A Florida court examines several other factors in addition to fault. They include: the length of the marriage, the standard of living the spouses enjoyed during the marriage, each spouse's age, each spouse's physical and mental health and each spouse's income or ability to earn an income.
Rehabilitative Alimony
In addition to general alimony, Florida permits courts to award "rehabilitative alimony." Rehabilitative alimony was established in Kristensen v. Kristensen, a 1983 Florida divorce action. The court's opinion stated that rehabilitative alimony could be awarded temporarily in order to allow the financially weaker spouse to "obtain new skills, education and/or other rehabilitation." This means that the alimony will be paid for as long as the receiving spouse needs to be trained in order to reenter the work force or to find sufficient employment to support herself.

I love the first few sentences. Boy is he going to be pissed when that comes out. Also my standard of living through out the marriage up until a few years a go was very nice. I will make sure I mention that to my lawyer. I will also mention that I emotionally and physically supported him through 10 years of school. During those years he got an Associates, Bachelors and then Master degree.

I definitely think I qualify for rehabilitative alimony. I have been a SAHM for almost 18 years.

All the way up to your Masters, baby.

I see my lawyer at 1. Any last minute advice?