Went to see the lawyer. I had to fill out paperwork and the appointment before me was running late. The lawyer had an emergency hearing at 2. She apologized and asked if I could come back at 4 so I can have a full appointment and not be rushed. I said that would be fine. I did talk to her a little and gave her some information. I told her that WH filed almost 2 weeks ago and I haven't been served. She thought that was very strange. I also told her we live in the county just south of her and WH's lawyer is from the county east of us. She did a little "humm.." Then she said lawyers from that county tend to interpret the law as 50/50 equal right down the middle. She said that is the ending point. The judges in the county where we live and he filed understand the laws and follow them. That should work in my favor.

Well, that was depressing. At least I had done some research before hand so I was prepared. The divorce laws in FL suck. Even my lawyer thinks so.

I can not legally make him move any of his stuff or prevent him from taking any of his stuff or even prevent him from entering the home. My lawyer suggested I take anything of sentimental value that I don't want him to have and put it somewhere outside the home. She gave me "Home work". It is documentation of all assets and liabilities. Then there is an 11 page document I have to fill out about the kids called a parenting plan. We also have to go to a mandatory parenting class. she gave me a punch list of all financial documents she needs 2 copies off. I can't stur the pot until I have all of that stuff and getting it together while mom and dad are here works out for me. I told the lawyer about WH's checking and credit card that I do not have access to but know exist. She said even if he paid cash for the condo he had to list his martial status for the deed. Hummm... She also said she can't guarantee anything but she can go after him for liquidation of marital assets before filing. I am ok for now regarding the finances (he can't touch them) but have to think of a new plan to move forward. I can't plan B him if he can just come by anyways. Oh and she said anything he bought after filing for the condo or any big item not for the family is his liability alone not mine. So any charges on his credit card are his.

Throw stuff at me and see what sticks.

quote
I can't plan B him if he can just come by anyways

Yes you can plan B him anyway.

(don't be the one who tells him his 'rights' for a start)

You CAN Plan B him, it's the WAY you do it that will count.

See, in my case, I actually have nothing legally written that says that we are even separated. My WH COULD come here, walk in and even move back in WITH OW if he desired. Legally, he COULD do that, but he hasn't. When I entered Plan B, I packed up his things, put them on the porch, gave him the Plan B letter, asked for his keys, spoke to him for 30 minutes about how I couldn't continue like this anymore, and he left. It wasn't easy, but what could he do? Move in with OW, that's what.

It wasn't something that was easily done, but I was prepared. I had had conversations with my WH before I entered Plan B. I told him what he could expect if we went to court in regards to custody and CS. My addendum to Plan B outlined these things and since I knew what was legal he hasn't argued it, yet.

Not necessarily. In my state it isn't necessary for the Grantee (buyer) to have his marital status on the deed. It's only when they become the Grantor (seller) that marital status is an issue.

Even if you did change the locks against your attorney's advice, as far as I know the worst case scenario would involve him going to the judge and you being ordered to provide a key.

Even without that, there are ways to make it very, very difficult for him to get into the house. For example, you can change the garage door opener, and put some of Pep's famous hotel locks on all the doors. Use sticks or broom handles to block all doors and windows, and leave the main locks still the same.

He might break a door or window to get in, but by the time you, not knowing that it was him, call the police and make a full report, he may decide it's too much trouble.

As a women, living alone, I would feel compelled to install "additional" locks and security measures for my own well being. :-)

I realize I can plan B. I want to stay as dark as possible for as long as possible. I need to figure out how to do it in the most productive way. I won't tell him is rights. He already told me them. I have to somehow get him to believe breaking plan B and coming here uninvited is not in HIS best interest. I have been brain storming on this and have some ideas.

This is what I was thinking about. Ways to Plan B when we both know I have no legal standing to keep him out. Telling the kids what I am doing will help. They will know he isn't supposed to be there and they can remind him if he shows up. I was thinking of doing exactly what you did. Talk to him, make it clear what I want, ask for the keys and give him the letter. Then change the locks that day.

From my understanding here in FL you have to list it on the deed. My lawyer seems to think it is important. It will also give even more proof that he dissolved marital assets with out my knowledge before he filed. The law is either one of us could have spent the money on anything we want. But you can't knowingly defraud your spouse.

I checked the deed for our home. The deed looks like this:

sellers name, a single person
WH and my name, Husband and wife
This is why my lawyer is checking the deed.

The garage door opener will be reprogrammed when my Dad is here. I am also changing the locks on the garage side door and the door in the garage that goes in the house. We don't have keys for them anyways. Then I will change the front door lock after I go into plan B. I need to find ways to make it difficult for him. Calling the cops on me would make him look bad in front of the children so he may think twice about that one. I could put 2 locks on the door and have one of them only locking from the inside. Then I can just lock that and go out through the garage.
BTW my lawyer didn't say I can't change the locks etc. All she said was he has a right to enter the house. I think that she chose her wording carefully on purpose.

Are you suggesting I get a chastity belt?

No, but that isnt' a bad idea.

I just meant if you install deadbolts or put in a really loud alarm system...no one would fault you and how can you possibly remember to tell him as you are sooo busy?

ok, this is what I am thinking of doing.
While my dad is here change all the locks and reprogram the garage door opener. Hide all the keys except one. I will hide that one in the yard somewhere as an emergency in case I lock myself out. Go in and out of the house through the garage. WH will be able to come over but he will have to ring the door bell. If WH demands a key I will tell him I will give him one after he gives me a working key for the condo. (I will have to make sure it works first)
Thoughts?

There are some great new locks on the market that have codes instead of keys.
Each family member gets their own code, and you are able to view their comings and goings online.

Might be useful. If you were compelled to give WH a code, you could disable it later. And you could monitor your DS's (make sure they are home by curfews, etc.)

I saw those lexxxy and I was drooling! They are expensive and won't work with the current door. BUT I could talk to my parents about getting new front doors and locks. I have wanted new doors since we moved here 4 years ago. It is a double door entry so that is why I would have to get 2 instead of one. Maybe Papa and I can do a little price shopping to see how much they would cost. Who knows, maybe we can find a deal on them. He can help me install them while he is still here. Funny thing, when I asked WH to leave a few weeks ago I bought a gallon of exterior paint that was on the clearance rack. I liked the color and it was only $5. I was planning on painting the front doors and shutters with it. Like a fresh new look to the front of the house. Maybe I was meant to wait until I got new doors.

I hear ya, sister, and you're right. What I'm saying is that some attorneys are anal about the maritals on deeds and some are not. If he paid cash for the property then he doesn't have a lender demanding proof of marital status be listed on the deed. Your state may very well accept deeds without a status for the Grantee. My state is the same way.

The best way to be sure is to call your county's auditor's office and ask them if they will record a deed if the Grantee's marital status isn't on it.

I just realized WH had a perfectly good reason not to put me on the deed. He will be single by the time he sells it. Why didn't I realize that before.


I will check into that. There isn't anything I can do right now but it will come in handy if we get to that point. So far no one has come knocking at the door with something for me to sign. I did a search to try and find out if there is a time limit for me to be served. If there is I will be served the day before I bet. That gives me more time to get my ducks in a row. I'm just a busy bee working on my homework. I know what career I don't want to get a degree in, financial auditor!

Yes, but he'll still be married when it comes time to address all of your assets. That condo is part of your marital estate, regardless of whether or not your name is on the deed. I wonder if he thought about that...

No he has that way-foggy-thought-thinking a' goin on.